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"Ouch!"

I have just done *the* biggest crap, ever.

And now my a**e, hurts like hell.

I swear, I've never seen a bigger log in my life. Yes, I did look at it before covering it in toilet paper, don't we all?

Actually, don't answer that...

It was like some sort of Chocolate Swiss Roll, lurking by the U-Bend like a German U-Boat.

I now walk like some sort of bow-legged leper, and I have to go play snooker in a minute as well.

I feel sorry for the poor sod at the water treatment works when that monstrosity floats it's lazy way past.

Christ, my bum is killing me. I think I need to call an ambulance...

or 5 letters

L M F A O

I'm glad my pain amuses you...

I've done on a good half foot in lenght.

Jimmy, you sound like you caught a huge fish or something.

Do you have a photo of you standing in your bathroom proudly holding your whoppa?

Actually, don't answer that

Do you have to give a running commentary on every second of your life, yh?

"That's no Dark Destroyer, it's a chocolate cruiser"

"No it's not, it's an anally created aircraft carrier"

"No! It's the Brown Bomber! Run for your lives!"

allardini wrote:
Do you have to give a running commentary on every second of your life, yh?



Yup.


You love it really, or you wouldn't keep reading them would you?

;-)

I prefer the term 'smiler'

'smiler' is copyright Monkey_man. Anyone caught taking a dump, standing up and looking round to see a log smiling back at them shall be shot.

I hate that feeling after you've just dropped a tree trunk, it stays for ages and you usually have to go out and put up with the uncomfortableness infront of all your posse