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"A response to Belldandy's "Online gaming" woes"

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Mon 09/12/02 at 09:49
Regular
Posts: 787
That I started to write in his thread, then decided to start my own yet mindlessly hit "post" instead of closing.
So, repeated here but also with additional mindspew:
--------

Welcome, console owners, to the world we PC enthusiasts have been operating in for about 5 years or so.
Online gaming. Xbox Live - getting in before Sony do and Nintendo never will.
You've all read about the "stunning possibilities" of playing "real-life opponents from all corners of the globe".
But what Microsoft neglected to mention, and what any PC owner could have told you eager console gamers?

Online gaming sucks.

Sure, it's a novelty at first to be able to play real people from all over the world. But soon, very soon, you become aware of the suckness inherent in playing other people.
Namely? Other people aren't you.
Some will have nothing else to do all day (these are usually unemployed Americans living in basements with T1 connections) and take great delight in obliterating new players with no mercy. Because they are fat virgins with zero social skills - you, as a newbie, are there to satisfy their retarded social growth and you *will* lose.
A lot.
It may be because they're better than you. But mostly it's because they cheat.
You'll soon see people using wall-hacks (this allows them to see through walls so you can't sneak up on them), they use ghosting (you can be invisible to other players, thereby running amok with no fear of being tagged) and all manner of rubbish cheats.
Again, mainly by obese teen-males that have yet to feel the loving caress of a woman (or man, depends on your wiring) so they make themselves feel better by cheating at games.

Or the connection speed. Anything other than broadband and you're doomed mate, just play against bots offline.

Or spastic 9yr olds on their brother's machine, finding it funny to shoot their own team, throw flashbangs willy-nilly, give away positions, steal vehicles and run you down.
These are my particular favourites and the reason I just dont bother to play online anymore.
Be it Unreal Tournament, Ghost Recon, Operation Flashpoint...there's always a moron that just wants to mash buttons with his big slobbering Sloth-like mouth and giggle with barely coherent sounds at the idea he's shooting someone.
Anyone. Even you.

Online gaming sucks.
The "cool!" factor in playing real people online soon disappears under the weight of pasty virgins desperately trying to validate their basement dwelling existence through cheaty gaming.
And we havent even begun to talk about clans yet.

Clans. Online "groups" of like-minded individuals that take online gaming seriously and wish to participate in tournaments, weekly/monthly meetings and do a bit more than occasionally log on and shoot some fase.
Except...9/10 Clans are anal-retentive, paramilitary groups operated by (once again) pasty geeks that lack human contact outside of "w00t" and whatever rubbish geek-speak they use to distinguish themselves from healthy, tanned, happy people.
(Quick piece of advice to anyone that thinks typing "13leet" or something similar - you are not cool. You are not an uber-gamer. Using these phrases clearly marks you out as the sort of person that buys blueprints of Star Trek/Star Wars vehicles, goes to conventions and laugh because other people can't be bothered to learn Klingon)

Which is why I ended up forming my own Clan.
Because I was sick of having to adhere to "rules and regs". Some online clans actually run "training courses" and operate a ranking system. Like some big Benny-fied Army for hunchback, monitor-tan soldiers that laugh in big "hyuck hyuck" inhaling breaths before needing their inhaler.
I had enough, and thus was born The UK Dentists.
Nobody in The UKD are dentists. We were striving for a name that indicated just how seriously we took the world of online gaming.
As proud Clan Leader, I am happy to report I havent bothered to play for over 5 months. 12 of our members are banned from Gamespy for buggering about, we're blacklisted by the Operation Flashpoint ladder-match organisers and one of the world's biggest (saddest) clans has offered to fly over from The States to beat us up for "not taking it seriously".

Online gaming is the not the future.
It's everything geeky and assmunch you'll ever want to find from human lifeforms.
Mon 09/12/02 at 10:28
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Yep.
Or LAN.
Mostly because you and your mates are all a similar level, and you can rip each other for being rubbish - as opposed to some gamebot freak-geek that eats, sleeps and breathes whatever game he plays.
Mon 09/12/02 at 10:18
Regular
"Wants Spymate on dv"
Posts: 3,025
I'm not really a fan of online gaming either really.
I've had broadband for a few months now (though I'm having no end of problems with it disconnecting every 2 minutes thanks to BT), but in the times that I did manage to play, I wasn't too bothered about it really.

I enjoyed a bit of Operation Flashpoint, but most of the games I played were way too unreliable with lagging etc, and I also played a bit of MoH:AA. I enjoyed the team deathmatches but when I finally got around to playing a proper all v all deathmatch, I was roundly beaten by geeks!
I consider myself to be a pretty good and experienced gamer, but when I got into those deathmatches, it was like playing against a load of invincible gaming robots. No fun.

4 player split screen multiplayer still rules, and always will.
Mon 09/12/02 at 09:56
Regular
Posts: 9,848
Goatboy wrote:
> As proud Clan Leader, I am happy to report I havent bothered to play
> for over 5 months. 12 of our members are banned from Gamespy for
> buggering about, we're blacklisted by the Operation Flashpoint
> ladder-match organisers and one of the world's biggest (saddest) clans
> has offered to fly over from The States to beat us up for "not
> taking it seriously".

Lol! That's the spirit! :-D
Mon 09/12/02 at 09:49
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
That I started to write in his thread, then decided to start my own yet mindlessly hit "post" instead of closing.
So, repeated here but also with additional mindspew:
--------

Welcome, console owners, to the world we PC enthusiasts have been operating in for about 5 years or so.
Online gaming. Xbox Live - getting in before Sony do and Nintendo never will.
You've all read about the "stunning possibilities" of playing "real-life opponents from all corners of the globe".
But what Microsoft neglected to mention, and what any PC owner could have told you eager console gamers?

Online gaming sucks.

Sure, it's a novelty at first to be able to play real people from all over the world. But soon, very soon, you become aware of the suckness inherent in playing other people.
Namely? Other people aren't you.
Some will have nothing else to do all day (these are usually unemployed Americans living in basements with T1 connections) and take great delight in obliterating new players with no mercy. Because they are fat virgins with zero social skills - you, as a newbie, are there to satisfy their retarded social growth and you *will* lose.
A lot.
It may be because they're better than you. But mostly it's because they cheat.
You'll soon see people using wall-hacks (this allows them to see through walls so you can't sneak up on them), they use ghosting (you can be invisible to other players, thereby running amok with no fear of being tagged) and all manner of rubbish cheats.
Again, mainly by obese teen-males that have yet to feel the loving caress of a woman (or man, depends on your wiring) so they make themselves feel better by cheating at games.

Or the connection speed. Anything other than broadband and you're doomed mate, just play against bots offline.

Or spastic 9yr olds on their brother's machine, finding it funny to shoot their own team, throw flashbangs willy-nilly, give away positions, steal vehicles and run you down.
These are my particular favourites and the reason I just dont bother to play online anymore.
Be it Unreal Tournament, Ghost Recon, Operation Flashpoint...there's always a moron that just wants to mash buttons with his big slobbering Sloth-like mouth and giggle with barely coherent sounds at the idea he's shooting someone.
Anyone. Even you.

Online gaming sucks.
The "cool!" factor in playing real people online soon disappears under the weight of pasty virgins desperately trying to validate their basement dwelling existence through cheaty gaming.
And we havent even begun to talk about clans yet.

Clans. Online "groups" of like-minded individuals that take online gaming seriously and wish to participate in tournaments, weekly/monthly meetings and do a bit more than occasionally log on and shoot some fase.
Except...9/10 Clans are anal-retentive, paramilitary groups operated by (once again) pasty geeks that lack human contact outside of "w00t" and whatever rubbish geek-speak they use to distinguish themselves from healthy, tanned, happy people.
(Quick piece of advice to anyone that thinks typing "13leet" or something similar - you are not cool. You are not an uber-gamer. Using these phrases clearly marks you out as the sort of person that buys blueprints of Star Trek/Star Wars vehicles, goes to conventions and laugh because other people can't be bothered to learn Klingon)

Which is why I ended up forming my own Clan.
Because I was sick of having to adhere to "rules and regs". Some online clans actually run "training courses" and operate a ranking system. Like some big Benny-fied Army for hunchback, monitor-tan soldiers that laugh in big "hyuck hyuck" inhaling breaths before needing their inhaler.
I had enough, and thus was born The UK Dentists.
Nobody in The UKD are dentists. We were striving for a name that indicated just how seriously we took the world of online gaming.
As proud Clan Leader, I am happy to report I havent bothered to play for over 5 months. 12 of our members are banned from Gamespy for buggering about, we're blacklisted by the Operation Flashpoint ladder-match organisers and one of the world's biggest (saddest) clans has offered to fly over from The States to beat us up for "not taking it seriously".

Online gaming is the not the future.
It's everything geeky and assmunch you'll ever want to find from human lifeforms.

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