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That I started to write in his thread, then decided to start my own yet mindlessly hit "post" instead of closing.
So, repeated here but also with additional mindspew:
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Welcome, console owners, to the world we PC enthusiasts have been operating in for about 5 years or so.
Online gaming. Xbox Live - getting in before Sony do and Nintendo never will.
You've all read about the "stunning possibilities" of playing "real-life opponents from all corners of the globe".
But what Microsoft neglected to mention, and what any PC owner could have told you eager console gamers?
Online gaming sucks.
Sure, it's a novelty at first to be able to play real people from all over the world. But soon, very soon, you become aware of the suckness inherent in playing other people.
Namely? Other people aren't you.
Some will have nothing else to do all day (these are usually unemployed Americans living in basements with T1 connections) and take great delight in obliterating new players with no mercy. Because they are fat virgins with zero social skills - you, as a newbie, are there to satisfy their retarded social growth and you *will* lose.
A lot.
It may be because they're better than you. But mostly it's because they cheat.
You'll soon see people using wall-hacks (this allows them to see through walls so you can't sneak up on them), they use ghosting (you can be invisible to other players, thereby running amok with no fear of being tagged) and all manner of rubbish cheats.
Again, mainly by obese teen-males that have yet to feel the loving caress of a woman (or man, depends on your wiring) so they make themselves feel better by cheating at games.
Or the connection speed. Anything other than broadband and you're doomed mate, just play against bots offline.
Or spastic 9yr olds on their brother's machine, finding it funny to shoot their own team, throw flashbangs willy-nilly, give away positions, steal vehicles and run you down.
These are my particular favourites and the reason I just dont bother to play online anymore.
Be it Unreal Tournament, Ghost Recon, Operation Flashpoint...there's always a moron that just wants to mash buttons with his big slobbering Sloth-like mouth and giggle with barely coherent sounds at the idea he's shooting someone.
Anyone. Even you.
Online gaming sucks.
The "cool!" factor in playing real people online soon disappears under the weight of pasty virgins desperately trying to validate their basement dwelling existence through cheaty gaming.
And we havent even begun to talk about clans yet.
Clans. Online "groups" of like-minded individuals that take online gaming seriously and wish to participate in tournaments, weekly/monthly meetings and do a bit more than occasionally log on and shoot some fase.
Except...9/10 Clans are anal-retentive, paramilitary groups operated by (once again) pasty geeks that lack human contact outside of "w00t" and whatever rubbish geek-speak they use to distinguish themselves from healthy, tanned, happy people.
(Quick piece of advice to anyone that thinks typing "13leet" or something similar - you are not cool. You are not an uber-gamer. Using these phrases clearly marks you out as the sort of person that buys blueprints of Star Trek/Star Wars vehicles, goes to conventions and laugh because other people can't be bothered to learn Klingon)
Which is why I ended up forming my own Clan.
Because I was sick of having to adhere to "rules and regs". Some online clans actually run "training courses" and operate a ranking system. Like some big Benny-fied Army for hunchback, monitor-tan soldiers that laugh in big "hyuck hyuck" inhaling breaths before needing their inhaler.
I had enough, and thus was born The UK Dentists.
Nobody in The UKD are dentists. We were striving for a name that indicated just how seriously we took the world of online gaming.
As proud Clan Leader, I am happy to report I havent bothered to play for over 5 months. 12 of our members are banned from Gamespy for buggering about, we're blacklisted by the Operation Flashpoint ladder-match organisers and one of the world's biggest (saddest) clans has offered to fly over from The States to beat us up for "not taking it seriously".
Online gaming is the not the future.
It's everything geeky and assmunch you'll ever want to find from human lifeforms.
So, repeated here but also with additional mindspew:
--------
Welcome, console owners, to the world we PC enthusiasts have been operating in for about 5 years or so.
Online gaming. Xbox Live - getting in before Sony do and Nintendo never will.
You've all read about the "stunning possibilities" of playing "real-life opponents from all corners of the globe".
But what Microsoft neglected to mention, and what any PC owner could have told you eager console gamers?
Online gaming sucks.
Sure, it's a novelty at first to be able to play real people from all over the world. But soon, very soon, you become aware of the suckness inherent in playing other people.
Namely? Other people aren't you.
Some will have nothing else to do all day (these are usually unemployed Americans living in basements with T1 connections) and take great delight in obliterating new players with no mercy. Because they are fat virgins with zero social skills - you, as a newbie, are there to satisfy their retarded social growth and you *will* lose.
A lot.
It may be because they're better than you. But mostly it's because they cheat.
You'll soon see people using wall-hacks (this allows them to see through walls so you can't sneak up on them), they use ghosting (you can be invisible to other players, thereby running amok with no fear of being tagged) and all manner of rubbish cheats.
Again, mainly by obese teen-males that have yet to feel the loving caress of a woman (or man, depends on your wiring) so they make themselves feel better by cheating at games.
Or the connection speed. Anything other than broadband and you're doomed mate, just play against bots offline.
Or spastic 9yr olds on their brother's machine, finding it funny to shoot their own team, throw flashbangs willy-nilly, give away positions, steal vehicles and run you down.
These are my particular favourites and the reason I just dont bother to play online anymore.
Be it Unreal Tournament, Ghost Recon, Operation Flashpoint...there's always a moron that just wants to mash buttons with his big slobbering Sloth-like mouth and giggle with barely coherent sounds at the idea he's shooting someone.
Anyone. Even you.
Online gaming sucks.
The "cool!" factor in playing real people online soon disappears under the weight of pasty virgins desperately trying to validate their basement dwelling existence through cheaty gaming.
And we havent even begun to talk about clans yet.
Clans. Online "groups" of like-minded individuals that take online gaming seriously and wish to participate in tournaments, weekly/monthly meetings and do a bit more than occasionally log on and shoot some fase.
Except...9/10 Clans are anal-retentive, paramilitary groups operated by (once again) pasty geeks that lack human contact outside of "w00t" and whatever rubbish geek-speak they use to distinguish themselves from healthy, tanned, happy people.
(Quick piece of advice to anyone that thinks typing "13leet" or something similar - you are not cool. You are not an uber-gamer. Using these phrases clearly marks you out as the sort of person that buys blueprints of Star Trek/Star Wars vehicles, goes to conventions and laugh because other people can't be bothered to learn Klingon)
Which is why I ended up forming my own Clan.
Because I was sick of having to adhere to "rules and regs". Some online clans actually run "training courses" and operate a ranking system. Like some big Benny-fied Army for hunchback, monitor-tan soldiers that laugh in big "hyuck hyuck" inhaling breaths before needing their inhaler.
I had enough, and thus was born The UK Dentists.
Nobody in The UKD are dentists. We were striving for a name that indicated just how seriously we took the world of online gaming.
As proud Clan Leader, I am happy to report I havent bothered to play for over 5 months. 12 of our members are banned from Gamespy for buggering about, we're blacklisted by the Operation Flashpoint ladder-match organisers and one of the world's biggest (saddest) clans has offered to fly over from The States to beat us up for "not taking it seriously".
Online gaming is the not the future.
It's everything geeky and assmunch you'll ever want to find from human lifeforms.
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Can you actually go online with a split screen multiplayer?
Also, cheating has been pretty much ruled out in Xbox live.
MS have even banned chipped consoles to prevent mods and hacks getting through.
MS have even banned chipped consoles to prevent mods and hacks getting through.
You don't have to play to win to make a game out of it.
Get an Xbox (at the rate MS are pricing dropping, this shouldn't be a problem much longer), 4 pads, a game like Unreal and find one of these freaks.
Challenge this freak to a game, and then it's a 4 player man hunt.
Naturally, you'll get torn to shreds, but it'll be like a single player mission - you and your team up against this tough opponent, having to use all your wits and team work to try kill him.
It'll be more fun than doing it against a predictable but solid AI simulant...
Get an Xbox (at the rate MS are pricing dropping, this shouldn't be a problem much longer), 4 pads, a game like Unreal and find one of these freaks.
Challenge this freak to a game, and then it's a 4 player man hunt.
Naturally, you'll get torn to shreds, but it'll be like a single player mission - you and your team up against this tough opponent, having to use all your wits and team work to try kill him.
It'll be more fun than doing it against a predictable but solid AI simulant...
Working with your mates is all well and good but how many people do you know with broadband access?
Even if you're working with other people, you still haven't got a chance against these computer obsessed social lepers, they either cheat or are so good it's unhealthy.
Even if you're working with other people, you still haven't got a chance against these computer obsessed social lepers, they either cheat or are so good it's unhealthy.
Surely that you can work with 3 of your mates (through splitscreen) must make things that little more interesting.
Also, there are ways to set up games against other newbies and stuff...
Also, there are ways to set up games against other newbies and stuff...
They're like nerdy virgin vampires
This is all so true. I used to play Outlaws online (old Western 1st person shooter) fun at first, but then you realise there's no way in the world that you're gonna beat these pasty faced sociopaths that sit on their computers all day and are allergic to sunlight.
Goatboy wrote:
> That, to me, is almost as bad as those people that make balsa-wood
> cockpits to play flight-sims in.
> I've seen pics.
You're kidding?
Wow, surely the geekiest thing ever done?
(Apart from attending Star Trek conventions in any way shape or form.)
> That, to me, is almost as bad as those people that make balsa-wood
> cockpits to play flight-sims in.
> I've seen pics.
You're kidding?
Wow, surely the geekiest thing ever done?
(Apart from attending Star Trek conventions in any way shape or form.)
True, but then you realise you're sitting with headphones on talking into a console.
That, to me, is almost as bad as those people that make balsa-wood cockpits to play flight-sims in.
I've seen pics.
That, to me, is almost as bad as those people that make balsa-wood cockpits to play flight-sims in.
I've seen pics.
Still, Gaming Geeks are more fun to fight than AI simulants.
Bring your friends round (consoles can do 4 player splitscreen at the same time) and work together to hunt them down.
Also, with the Headphone communicator, you can hurl abuse at them! :-)
Bring your friends round (consoles can do 4 player splitscreen at the same time) and work together to hunt them down.
Also, with the Headphone communicator, you can hurl abuse at them! :-)
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