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"FoG Story - Battle Royale"

Headteacher Tony called out the register on the school bus. He was expecting some comical replies, these being the unruliest collection of schoolchildren (and teachers) that he had ever seen, but there were none. He suspected this was because the top 100 posters table doesn’t copy and paste very well at all, and the writer was a bit pushed for time.

Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2 (Tony thought what stupid names all these people had)
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony…Oh, that was him. Cool. It sounded like a fun trip anyway, going to the zoo and all.
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Longy…Tony couldn’t pronounce the two letters on the end of his name, so he just ignored them.
Time Warp
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster
The Vottanator
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…Damn rich kids.
Joe Dark…Damn secret agents in training
Talkie Toaster…Damn novelty gifts
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese…what a handsome guy
Twain
GasMark
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster…Wookies cousin, Tony assumed.
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly…one of the teachers
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot…He was currently smashing his head against the wall of the bus.
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow
Nomad Soul
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes...what a gimp, Tony thinks.
Willow
Cjh
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino

Whoo…long list that, thinks Tony. 99 of the little schmucks, + him = 100 people. How would they all fit into the zoo? It can’t be a very big zoo…Tony, an expert in farm animals, had never heard of it. Tony ducked as Monkey With Attitude swung over his head. He was used to all these animal like humans by now.

Tony takes a long sip on his drink, handily supplied by one of the suit clad government men who had insisted they come on the trip. In fact, they were funding the whole thing, which was pretty nice of them. Reminded him of a film he once watched actually…

Tony was just thinking how goddamn nice it was that they were funding it, when the door of the bus swung open, and a figure, silhouetted by sunlight, walked in the door.

Tony sighed. Shaneo was back, despite being expelled 6 times already.

“Shaneo, what are you doing back here?”

The figure looked uneasy, and replied in a Homer Simpson Double voice “Shaneo? Who is zis Shaneo? My name is Saleeva. I have a girlfriend, and I am in a band.”

He must have a new address. Damn Microsoft, giving away houses for free.

“Alright, Saleeva, come aboard. You may as well”.

Shaneo smiled, and took the last seat on the bus.

----

Soon, the drinks drugged by the government officials started to take effect. All 101 characters fell into a deep slumber.

----

Sheepy woke up in a hut. His first attempt at thought was to try and remember how much he had drunk last night – why else would he wake up lying on the floor? Sheepy rolled over onto one side, looking for anyone else. No one there. Damn. A sudden horror rushed through Sheep’s body, prompting him to jump up and look out the hut windows. No sheep. Thank God for that. He’d never lived it down after the first time.

Then he remembered – wasn’t he supposed to be at the zoo about now? Or had he managed to get drunk before he got there? The last thing he remembered was thinking how comfortable the coach seats looked…

His questions were answered by a sheet of paper he found lying where his prone body had been. It was A4, printed in black ink.

Sheepy prayed for it not to be a homework assignment.

The note read:

YOU have been selected to take part in Rattle Boyale. You have no choice about this. You will see that you have been given a weapon. The weapon is different for different people. You will not need to eat or drink, because it would just hinder the story. Basically, you all have to kill each other. The last man standing is the winner.

You cannot post more than once a day, and you cannot kill off more than one character per post. Don’t kill off people just because you don’t like them, and if you can’t remember who’s been killed off then ask me to send you a list.

Anyone can post in this story, unless I decide that you suck.

---

Sheepy looked around, and he saw his weapon. A bottle of Vodka. He decided that it would be a better weapon when empty, so he popped the top off with a *click*.

Oh, and GroovyCarrot isn't even someone from SR, he's someone from IRC. So he doesn't count.

Excellent Shaneo, cheers. But Bill Hicks "appeared" at one point, I think, making it now 87 to go.

Or here's a new version that I'm doing:

MJSwerve - DEAD by Sniper (Shot) - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD by Nomad Soul (Sliced) - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD by FantasyMeister (Burnt) - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD by Turbonutter (Drowned) - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD by Wookiee Monster (Drowned) - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD by Pb (Shot) - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD by Mouldy Cheese (Shot) - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD by a snake (Poisoned) - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD by Iguana (Stab Wound) - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
GroovyCarrot - DEAD by Iguana (Stab Wound) - 9:37pm - 26/2/02
Tony - DEAD by Mr Snuggly (Severe Papercut)- 2:09pm - 27/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD by Cooky (Sliced) - 5:21pm - 27/2/02
Nomad Soul - DEAD by Mr Nice Guy (Battered) - 7:53pm - 27/2/02
Time Warp - DEAD by Your Honour (Decapitated) - 8:11pm - 27/2/02
Slipknot - DEAD by Turbonutter (Impact) - 7:23am - 28/2/02

That was sooo calling out for a decapitation :0)

Slipknot continues walking along, chain his weapon. He's on the edge of a cliff, when he notices something somewhat strange.

"Be right out!", shouts a recognizable voice.

Slipknot bangs on the cubicle door and we finally get a view inside.

"I just need two more lines of code to get this de-activation programme to work...", says Turbonutter, with a mound of food packets and half-empty drink bottles piled beside him.

Slipknot bangs his head on the cubicle door in a crazy fashion and Turbonutter screams at him: "JUST A SECOND GODDAMNIT!", and suddenly a small, but noticeable device emerges from the top of the cubicle. We see Turbonuuter typing some more.

"So it's Slipknot eh? Let's give him a little present...", states Turbo.

Slipknot, who is still moshing, is interrupted by some interference. A chute comes from the side of the cubicle and it throws a Slipknot CD a few meters infront of him.

"Wow! This is the Special Edition man!"

Slipknot turns to the CD, picks it up and quiet zooming noise is heard. Slipknot continues moshing without turning round, and moshes against the cubicle, but feels nothing but thin air there - Slipknot is dead.

"Yes! My anti-gravitational device worked! I can rule the world! Muah!", grimaces Turbo.

MJSwerve - DEAD - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
GroovyCarrot - DEAD - 9:37pm - 26/2/02
Tony - DEAD - 2:09pm - 27/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD - 5:21pm - 27/2/02
Nomad Soul - DEAD - 7:53pm - 27/2/02
Time Warp - DEAD - 8:11pm - 27/2/02
Slipknot - DEAD - 7:23am - 28/2/02

Majk - DEAD - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
GroovyCarrot - DEAD - 9:37pm - 26/2/02
Tony - DEAD - 2:09pm - 27/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD - 5:21pm - 27/2/02
Nomad Soul - DEAD - 7:53pm - 27/2/02
Time Warp - DEAD - 8:11pm - 27/2/02

14 down - 87 to go (I think). We need to get an official count here.

I've counted back from 101, and I got 87 - surely that's the correct figure as of this moment?

Time Warp fell out of bed. His head hurt. Funny, he'd only had half a shandy.

"Oh..." he said. He was ashamed. Then he noticed he had a collar round his neck.


"AAAH! IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BLOW A BIT OF MY THROAT OUT, MEANING I'LL PUMP MY LIFEBLOOD OUT!"

Then he looked more closely.

"Oh, it's my necklace. Never mind, eh?"

He walked over to the desk and tripped over a crossbow.

"Damn stupid idea." He muttered, and walked to the window and threw it away. Then he read the piece of paper.

"OH!" he yelled, and jumped after the crossbow. It had gone, and it was a gravel path. Where had it gone? Time Warp decided it had little legs and had started to walk off. Time to give chase then, in his own lack of fitness way. Two minutes later he was sitting panting on a rock.

"Here....crossbow...." he gasped.

A rustling was in the bushes.

"Oh how cute! A deer!" guessed Time Warp. Anyway, time for that crossbow. He needed it to defend himself from people. Probably. Added to that, it looked cool.

He went in the direction of the rustling. And someone jumped out, holding an axe-shaped thing. Of the axe tpye. It was an axe, basically. Time Warp looked at it intently.

"You know, with that, we could make all sorts of fires and boats and stuff. We could escape this island all together. Or we could just swim. If we all work together, we can make it."

Time Warp stepped up onto the rock.

" Just you and me, YH. Oooooh, just the two of us! We can make if we try! Juuuust the tw.."

YH grimaced, and threw the axe. It severed Time Warp's head, and it landed softly on the ground. YH retrieved his axe and adjusted the nice shiny crossbow he had. He had found some grenades too. Then he looked at Time Warps head, with it's grenade-shaped mouth. He considered this for some time.

YH smiled.

--

Err, that'll make it 11 down, 88 to go.

Nomad Soul awoke, in a hut. He had the same letter as Sheepy, and read it. When he finished, he looked around for his weapon. Eyes searching the hut in the pre-dawn light, he could dimly see something on the table.

Walking over, his eyes adjusted to the gloom, and his mouth widened in horror at what he saw, hands reaching out, to see if it were real, or part of some terrible nightmare.

Unfortunately for him, he was awake, and it was all to real. Lying on the table was.... a Chesney Hawks CD. How was he supposed to kill anyone with this? Eyes wide in panic, he spun around, the horror of the situation only just hitting him.

Luckily, he looked where his real weapon was, over the other side of the hut. A hunting knife. That was more like it. He strolled over, and took it out of it's sheath, blade dull in the cold, dark air.

He put the knife into his trousers, being careful to not cut his Hows-your-father, and set off.

His hut was right on the edge of a group of them, so he was swallowed by the forest as he made his way down the path.

He stopped, listening.

What was that sound? A rustle in the undergrowth somewhere? He strained his eyes into the gloom, trying to make out any sort of shape, but nothing.

Heart beating slightly faster, he continued his way along the path, being careful to make as little noise as possible. He hoped the sun would be up soon, the darkness was annoying him, and he lost his way more than once, as he tried to follow the path down to the beach.

He whirled around, slipping on the damp leaves beneath his feet, and falling to the floor. He *had* heard something that time, but what? An animal?

His breathing quickened as he got to his feet in a rush, heart pounding faster, and faster, feeling as though it would burst out the front of his chest.

Branches and leaves flashed by in a whirl as he ran down the path, the sound keeping pace with him, just off to the side, unseen in the gloom.

Sweat dripped, breathing rasped, heart pounded as he tried to get that last little bit of speed from his legs. With panic, he realised that he couldn't keep going, not at that speed.

He would have to stop. Stop and face whoever it was. And he'd kill them. That was the point of this afterall, wasn't it?

He stopped, breathing hard, hand on knife.

Peering into the gloom, sweat dripped down his back, shirt sticking to his skin. He drew the knife, it made a soft metallic grating noise as it came out of it's sheath.

A sudden movement caught the corner of his eye. Too late! He realised his pursuer had moved around him, unheard, unseen.

Mr Nice Guy, hammer raised, came running out of the undergrowth, swinging with all his might.

A few seconds later, and bits of Nomad Souls skull and brain were raining down around Mr Nice Guy, warm blood feeling hot on his skin as it fell in little strings around him.

The dawn sun poked above the the horizon as Mr Nice Guy picked up Nomad Souls knife, and walked off into the bushes.

allardini wrote:
You missed out Tony, he died in my most
> recent part.

Ok, sorry. Here's the correct version:

Majk - DEAD - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
GroovyCarrot - DEAD - 9:37pm - 26/2/02
Tony - DEAD - 2:09pm - 27/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD - 5:21pm - 27/2/02

This is getting exciting? Who to die next? Somebody write the next part. One question: can you only write one part per day?

$h@ne0 wrote:

Majk - DEAD - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
GroovyCarrot - DEAD - 9:37pm - 26/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD - 5:21pm - 27/2/02

-----

You missed out Tony, he died in my most recent part.

There is a fumbling heard in the bushes.

"Come on, we must keep going!", demands some recognisable voice.

Stryke and RastaBillySkank emerged from the random foliage dotted around.

"Oh jeez!", shouts Skank as he jumps back in fright at the horrifying scene that lay infront of them...a bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

Rasta creeps back in anticipated fear as Stryke leans down to look at the bottle which lay there. He gives it a quick sniff and jumps back in disgust. An evil smile emerges on his face and he hands the bottle to Rasta.

"Drink it.", demands Stryke.

"Bu..."

"Just do it!"

Rasta hesitantly raises the bottle to his lips, and a Stryke, who can hardly contain his laughter, looks on. Rasta drinks it, and suddenly begins to twitch.

"Tic-tac Rasta?", offers Stryke.

"Let's get the hell outta here..."

Rasta and Stryke walk on.

"Do you hear that noise Rasta?"

"Oops, sorry. When you gotta go Gaz, you gotta go!"

"Fair enough. Wait, do you hear something else?"

They turn to where the noise is to see someone bring their axe down onto a tree.

"Oh, don't worry, it's just Jacee fashioning some object out of a log.", announces Stryke.

They both turn away, and turn back in surprised horror.

"Jacee?", beckons Rasta.

"Yes?", replies a soft, somewhat girlish voice.

A small, bony boy emerges from the log with an axe in hand.

"Oh my god! It's Rasta and Stryke! I haven't seen you guys in so long - sup dawgs?"

"Oh, just some mad guy with a chainsaw, who is falling to the ground to destroy your mortal soul.", replies Stryke.

"Huh?"

Just then, someone with a metal, jason-esque mask on flies down behind Jacee with a chainsaw in hand.

"Who the hell?", asks Jacee.

"I am Chainsaw Cooky, and you are about to die. I will win Battle Royale!"

"Everyone - arm yourselves, we may have a tough battle here.", announces Stryke.

They all arm and shoot at the becrazed demon. Cooky aims the chainsaw at Stryke, slicing his arm off clean. Stryke screams in agony and falls to the floor. Rasta looks at Stryke, and runs into the distance - Jacee is the only one left fighting. Jacee turns around to see Rasta running, and nervously turns back around. When he turns around, Cooky brings the blade down, slicing Jacee totally in half. He screams his last high-pitched scream before falling to the floor in two. Stryke looks on shocked and tries to drag himself along, but the blood-loss is taking it's toll on him. Rasta turns around, to here silence - Cooky is gone. He runs over to Stryke.

"My god! Let's bandage you up Gaz..."

Rasta rips part of his shirt off and ties it around Gaz's bloodied arm. Gaz stares at Rasta's chest for some strange reason in awe.

"I cut my leg too..."

"No you didn't..."

"Well...er...it hurts like hell - bandage it!"

Rasta pulls away more of his shirt and Gaz looks smuggly at Rasta and his chest. Rasta puts down his rucksack and sets up camp...

11 down - 91 to go...

Majk - DEAD - 4:40pm - 20/2/02
Jester - DEAD - 6:07pm - 20/2/02
Sniper - DEAD - 10:31pm - 20/2/02
Doughnut Monster - DEAD - 9:08am - 21/2/02
Shadow - DEAD - 4:13pm - 21/2/02
GasMask - DEAD - 6:39pm - 21/2/02
cjh - DEAD - 5:02pm - 24/2/02
Ice Blaster - DEAD - 7:59pm - 26/2/02
Reaper - DEAD - 9:11pm - 26/2/02
GroovyCarrot - DEAD - 9:37pm - 26/2/02
JaceeUK - DEAD - 5:21pm - 27/2/02