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"FoG Story - Battle Royale"

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Mon 18/02/02 at 18:18
Regular
Posts: 787
Headteacher Tony called out the register on the school bus. He was expecting some comical replies, these being the unruliest collection of schoolchildren (and teachers) that he had ever seen, but there were none. He suspected this was because the top 100 posters table doesn’t copy and paste very well at all, and the writer was a bit pushed for time.

Ratably Skink
Grix Thrives
Goatboy
Kid Rock
Turbonutter
Ant
Er-no
Your Honor
Sniper
Wookie
FantasyMeister
Meka Dragon
Ortaga
Sheepy
Mystique
AfroJoe
Ice Blaster
Tiltawhirl
Dan2K2 (Tony thought what stupid names all these people had)
SSXpro
Bonus
Tony…Oh, that was him. Cool. It sounded like a fun trip anyway, going to the zoo and all.
Stryke
Dringo
Strafex
Starlight
Longy…Tony couldn’t pronounce the two letters on the end of his name, so he just ignored them.
Time Warp
Mattyboy
The Game
Armitage Shanks
Pb
Pro Evo
Big slow
DeltaJava
SonicRav
Jetster
The Vottanator
Venombyte
ResEvil Fan
Reaper
Triple H
Fish-e
I am The Tarrent
Seifer
Slaveunit
Edgy
Fogmaster
Aliboy
Grandprix
Beware the toast
David
Adrian
Lord Semegal…Damn rich kids.
Joe Dark…Damn secret agents in training
Talkie Toaster…Damn novelty gifts
M16
Nw Jimmy
CDouch
Sibs
Slik
Mouldy Cheese…what a handsome guy
Twain
GasMark
Natbuc
Weird Wonder
Beanz
Cookie Monster…Wookies cousin, Tony assumed.
Cooky
Little Hedgehog
Shocktrooper
Mr. Snuggly…one of the teachers
Doughnut Monster
Magma Dragoon
Slipknot…He was currently smashing his head against the wall of the bus.
Monkey With Attitude
Solskjar 24
Vai
Shadow
Nomad Soul
Mr. Nice Guy
Quazimodo
Asher D
Monkey Man
Majk
Whooo Style
Rickoss
Iguana
Ben Hodgettes...what a gimp, Tony thinks.
Willow
Cjh
Darkness 2k
Lefback
Mantis
CJC
Uncle Albert
Snoop Doggy Dan
JaCee UK
Uksgamer2002
Golden Rhino

Whoo…long list that, thinks Tony. 99 of the little schmucks, + him = 100 people. How would they all fit into the zoo? It can’t be a very big zoo…Tony, an expert in farm animals, had never heard of it. Tony ducked as Monkey With Attitude swung over his head. He was used to all these animal like humans by now.

Tony takes a long sip on his drink, handily supplied by one of the suit clad government men who had insisted they come on the trip. In fact, they were funding the whole thing, which was pretty nice of them. Reminded him of a film he once watched actually…

Tony was just thinking how goddamn nice it was that they were funding it, when the door of the bus swung open, and a figure, silhouetted by sunlight, walked in the door.

Tony sighed. Shaneo was back, despite being expelled 6 times already.

“Shaneo, what are you doing back here?”

The figure looked uneasy, and replied in a Homer Simpson Double voice “Shaneo? Who is zis Shaneo? My name is Saleeva. I have a girlfriend, and I am in a band.”

He must have a new address. Damn Microsoft, giving away houses for free.

“Alright, Saleeva, come aboard. You may as well”.

Shaneo smiled, and took the last seat on the bus.

----

Soon, the drinks drugged by the government officials started to take effect. All 101 characters fell into a deep slumber.

----

Sheepy woke up in a hut. His first attempt at thought was to try and remember how much he had drunk last night – why else would he wake up lying on the floor? Sheepy rolled over onto one side, looking for anyone else. No one there. Damn. A sudden horror rushed through Sheep’s body, prompting him to jump up and look out the hut windows. No sheep. Thank God for that. He’d never lived it down after the first time.

Then he remembered – wasn’t he supposed to be at the zoo about now? Or had he managed to get drunk before he got there? The last thing he remembered was thinking how comfortable the coach seats looked…

His questions were answered by a sheet of paper he found lying where his prone body had been. It was A4, printed in black ink.

Sheepy prayed for it not to be a homework assignment.

The note read:

YOU have been selected to take part in Rattle Boyale. You have no choice about this. You will see that you have been given a weapon. The weapon is different for different people. You will not need to eat or drink, because it would just hinder the story. Basically, you all have to kill each other. The last man standing is the winner.

You cannot post more than once a day, and you cannot kill off more than one character per post. Don’t kill off people just because you don’t like them, and if you can’t remember who’s been killed off then ask me to send you a list.

Anyone can post in this story, unless I decide that you suck.

---

Sheepy looked around, and he saw his weapon. A bottle of Vodka. He decided that it would be a better weapon when empty, so he popped the top off with a *click*.
Thu 07/03/02 at 07:29
Posts: 0
Wookiee is still (yes, the little camper!) atop the centry tower. He is loading his artillery etc, when he puts them down and aims his binoculars north.

We see a large armoured truck pulls through an opening (wait - isn't this an island?), which Wooks presumes is the entrace.

"I presume it's the entrance."

Wooks climbs down the large ladder, only to be stopped half way down by a voice.

"Freeze."

Wookie raises one arm, using the other to grip the ladder with.

"Yes?"

"Somebody call the Comedy Police?"

"Yes..."

"Get him boys!"

"Wait! You're making a big mistake!"

"That's what they all say son."

"But I cal..."

With that, Wooks is peppered with FAMAS bullets, and he falls to the floor, oblivious to the Comedy Police.

"Wrap it up boys!"

They all get back in the van and speed away, running over (unknown to them) Wooks, as they reverse backwards and forwards, before speeding off.

27 down - 76 to go
Wed 06/03/02 at 19:40
Posts: 0
Just then, Grix hears a load cracking noise, looks behind for YH and sees nothing.

"Ouch!", says YH's voice.

Grix looks to where the sound comes from.

"YH - get up from there!"

Your Honour is hanging off of a bridge, which has one step missing. The irony about crossing bridges here is too much for the story writers, so they scrapped the bridge and went somewhere else, where there were no crocodiles either.

There were in a crop field, surrounded by large crops.

"My god! We have food!", states Grix.

"Grix, that isn..."

Before YH can continue, Grix is cutting away at the plant and eating the contents. Suddenly Grix turns from a albinic white to a ghostly white.

"YH - I think I'm gonna lay down..."

----------

Lord Semajal emerges, with Twain on one side and Leftback on the other.

"Argh!", screams Semajal in blood-curdling fashion.

"Don't worry Sir, I'll take care of it!", announces Leftback, who kneels down, points his decopopcolator (which nobody quite knew how to use) and shoots, disposing of it.

"That's Lord Semajal, to you!"

There is a rumbling that probably shook the entire island. Semajal, who was just sitting down for a spot of tea and some crumpets, is interruped. In the distance, they can see a giant creature running their way.

"Take care of it, peasants!"

After coming into clearer view, we discover that it's a golden rhino. Correction: Golden Rhino.

His low-lifer's run to GR, only to be gored to hell by the mammoth-of-a-beast. Semajal runs, whilst Leftback is being munched on, and Twain getting ready to die.

Just then, a loud noise is heard - it's Chainsaw Cooky! Goldern Rhino quickly trots away, and Cooky gives chase, leaving Twain half-dead, but still kicking, and Leftback a snooby snack.

26 down - 77 to go
Wed 06/03/02 at 17:25
Regular
Posts: 16,548
Damn good crazy man attitude if you ask me.
Wed 06/03/02 at 09:28
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Grix and YH approach the bushes carefully, weapons drawn. Not like that, you perv. Grix with his uzi and razor, and YH with his gun and "crazy man" attitude, which had been written in by some muppet. Stryke.

Anyhoo, they get closer and closer to the bush, the tension rising all the time. Grix thinks he can spot some exposed flesh, and feels his groin tingle in anticipation.

The he realises it's Mystique, having a dump, and any arousal quickly subsides.

"My God! It's Mystique, and she's having a dump!" Shouts Grix.

"Urgh!" Said YH, the smell making him gag.

Grix turned to vomit, and dropped his uzi. It bounced, True Lies style, and fired itself, ripping into Mystique. She dies.

YH turns to run away from the horrible smell, but slips on Grixs vomit, sliding down the slope towards the cliff!

Luckily he stops.

Unluckily, he was stopped by a boulder. And he cut his arm. So he had to hold the gun in his other hand, the hand he can't aim with very well.

However, the cut will have healed completely in a few posts time, as if by magic....

Grix ran down to see if YH was ok.

"This is working well. If we carry on working together we can kill everyone on this Island, and escape!"

"But only one person can leave the Island. If we're the only two left, then one of us will have to kill the other."

"B****r."

"Not at the moment thanks."

"Hmm, ok, better think about this then."

They thought.

"What if we just say that we don't want to kill each other. That we won't kill each other. They can't *make* us, can they?"

"Dunno. Let's just cross that bridge when we come to it, eh?"
Wed 06/03/02 at 07:22
Posts: 0
Mr Snuggly is laying on a sofa, watching TV and munching on some crisps, with a can of coke on the floor.

"Hit him with the chair!"

A soldier walks past and Snuggly turns over.

"Sir Snuggly, you weren't watching Jerry Springer, were you?"

"No! I don't watch that trash..."

The soldier continues walking and he switches back.

"Damn."

----------

The scene switches to inside the abandoned building, where Shaneo, Mr Nice Guy, Tyla, Turbonutter and Fogmaster are hard at work trying to hack the Battle Royale server. Only the noise of tapping keys is heard.

"Ye know guys, have you ever thought of killing your best friend?", asks MNG.

They all look puzzled at him.

"I mean, I just wanna get off of this island and get back to regular life. People are going crazy on here, but then again, we all go a little crazy sometimes."

MNG grabs some wire cutters and goes to cut the leads of the laptop's.

"What are you doing!?", asks Fogmaster.

"I'm gonna end it all! We're gonna go out together guys, just like brothers! I'm f'cking sick and tired of it all!"

"Stop it Tom! We can all make it off if we pull together."

"It's too late for that. I'll be seeing some of you soon."

"Nooo!"

MNG then cuts the cord to his computer, electricuting himself. Mr Nice Guy is dead.

----------

Your Honour and Grix are walking through a path, well-armed, and a step ahead of the competition with Salevaa's GPS tracker in possession. Suddenly "Mr Nice Guy is dead" appears on the screen.

"Heh, I never liked him anyway...", states YH.

They walk on, when they notice something fumbling in the bushes. They go to investigate. Of course, it was probably no threat, as they are main characters, and so wouldn't die this early on.

24 down, 79 to go
Wed 06/03/02 at 07:07
Posts: 0
Sorry, I'll do it after every five deaths instead, and put it on the end of my part.
Wed 06/03/02 at 07:07
Posts: 0
Sorry, I'll do it after every five deaths instead, and put it on the end of my part.
Tue 05/03/02 at 20:57
Regular
"I am Bumf Ucked"
Posts: 3,669
Shaneo, stop doing that list update thing. It breaks the story up.
Tue 05/03/02 at 19:07
Regular
Posts: 16,548
Lol, inspired.
Tue 05/03/02 at 18:52
Regular
Posts: 14,117
Shocktrooper shot Willow in the face.

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