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To go out with her I would not only have to be a boyfriend but a substitute father as well. I do love kids but to become a father of a boy half way to being a teen seemed a lot. Having met him I soon warmed to him and already he wanted to call me his dad. The idea of being with a single parent didn't bother me at all infact it probably helped our relationship.
Unfortunately it wasn't to be and we eventually broke up. It was hard for him to have a father like figure in his life and then to suddenly lose it again. I felt terrible, it must be so difficult being a single parent and trying to juggle so many things at once. Relationships are hard enough but to be a mum at the same time really complicates things.
Has anyone else dated a single parent? Would it bother you if he/she had a kid? Or perhaps you're a single parent and you've been through something like this already.
DOES NOT COMPUTE
Thinking long-term, provided she's still willing to have more kids at some stage (I want some too, eventually), it's not a problem. Well, not too big a problem.
Except maybe logistically. If she's already got 2, you could have two kids of your own but have to provide for 4. Even if the father takes care of his financial responsibilities, you're the one stuck with the hassle (and having to buy people carriers) later down the line.
You have to buy a really big house or your kids can't have their own bedrooms (once they get to a certain age, it'll be a bit of a problem), and house prices are tough enough to deal with as it is.
So basically, if the girl is a keeper, you're going to have to manage a lot of kids, if you're going to have any kids of your own at all.
If the kids are little ***tards, you have to deal with other peoples' obnoxious brats. If they're 'normal', and only occasionally a pain in the ***, I figure it's not such a problem. If they're a constant hassle, it'd be something you'd want to keep at arms length.
Well if I was a dad and I was on my own for whatever reason, I guess I might find it a little difficult, are women more acceptable about single parents than guys? I dont think we have any females around to answer that :(
What about the other way though? If you were a woman dating a man that still had strong ties to his children (either from regular access or from the death of his wife)?
I was right with pb, which if you're reading this pb I
> hope she is doing well :D
Yeah, fine. In fact, she's less trouble than the first was at that age (just under 3 months now). They're both great and I feel lucky to be a dad to them...
It's insecurity on my part I know, I'm the same with girls who don't have children, although it's far less common for them to have their ex still in their lives, so it's not so much of a problem. To dwell on how much your partner was in love with someone else before you came along is pointless and hurtful, and I have no idea why I do it ... I know full well that it hurts to think in this way, yet some masochistic side of me still dwells on it. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, but I cannot explain why.
Don't know if it's only me who does this, but it's something I have to tackle and resolve, I can't allow myself to carry on going through life being ruled by negative feelings. Jealousy is the worst emotion there is and will easily destroy relationships in no time, and it can make people very bitter indeed.
As for the children aspect - well I think if you love the person you love everything about them, including their children - obviously there's more to it than that - will the children accept you into the family willingly? assuming he is still around, will the father see you as a threat to his role? and so on ...
Unless the person deceived you for a long time, then in most cases you would know they had children from the start. If you carried on with the relationship knowing that the children were always going to be a problem, then you're only going to hurt both of you in the end - and yes, even the children too if they have grown accustomed to you being around.
Honesty and communication is so important, but then it is in any relationship if it is going to last ...
When do you find out the sex of the baby? :) I'm guessing a girl again, I was right with pb, which if you're reading this pb I hope she is doing well :D