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I think it was a year ago that I met this wonderful girl, she was special, we were very much alike and got on well. After a week into the relationship, she finally told me she had a 6 year old son. I was completely shocked, I didn't know what to do and I'd never pictured myself with a single mother before. So I was confused, I would love to say I'm such a great guy that I just shrugged it off and the idea that she had a son didn't bother me. But it did, atleast a little.
To go out with her I would not only have to be a boyfriend but a substitute father as well. I do love kids but to become a father of a boy half way to being a teen seemed a lot. Having met him I soon warmed to him and already he wanted to call me his dad. The idea of being with a single parent didn't bother me at all infact it probably helped our relationship.
Unfortunately it wasn't to be and we eventually broke up. It was hard for him to have a father like figure in his life and then to suddenly lose it again. I felt terrible, it must be so difficult being a single parent and trying to juggle so many things at once. Relationships are hard enough but to be a mum at the same time really complicates things.
Has anyone else dated a single parent? Would it bother you if he/she had a kid? Or perhaps you're a single parent and you've been through something like this already.
To go out with her I would not only have to be a boyfriend but a substitute father as well. I do love kids but to become a father of a boy half way to being a teen seemed a lot. Having met him I soon warmed to him and already he wanted to call me his dad. The idea of being with a single parent didn't bother me at all infact it probably helped our relationship.
Unfortunately it wasn't to be and we eventually broke up. It was hard for him to have a father like figure in his life and then to suddenly lose it again. I felt terrible, it must be so difficult being a single parent and trying to juggle so many things at once. Relationships are hard enough but to be a mum at the same time really complicates things.
Has anyone else dated a single parent? Would it bother you if he/she had a kid? Or perhaps you're a single parent and you've been through something like this already.
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I think it was a year ago that I met this wonderful girl, she was special, we were very much alike and got on well. After a week into the relationship, she finally told me she had a 6 year old son. I was completely shocked, I didn't know what to do and I'd never pictured myself with a single mother before. So I was confused, I would love to say I'm such a great guy that I just shrugged it off and the idea that she had a son didn't bother me. But it did, atleast a little.
To go out with her I would not only have to be a boyfriend but a substitute father as well. I do love kids but to become a father of a boy half way to being a teen seemed a lot. Having met him I soon warmed to him and already he wanted to call me his dad. The idea of being with a single parent didn't bother me at all infact it probably helped our relationship.
Unfortunately it wasn't to be and we eventually broke up. It was hard for him to have a father like figure in his life and then to suddenly lose it again. I felt terrible, it must be so difficult being a single parent and trying to juggle so many things at once. Relationships are hard enough but to be a mum at the same time really complicates things.
Has anyone else dated a single parent? Would it bother you if he/she had a kid? Or perhaps you're a single parent and you've been through something like this already.
To go out with her I would not only have to be a boyfriend but a substitute father as well. I do love kids but to become a father of a boy half way to being a teen seemed a lot. Having met him I soon warmed to him and already he wanted to call me his dad. The idea of being with a single parent didn't bother me at all infact it probably helped our relationship.
Unfortunately it wasn't to be and we eventually broke up. It was hard for him to have a father like figure in his life and then to suddenly lose it again. I felt terrible, it must be so difficult being a single parent and trying to juggle so many things at once. Relationships are hard enough but to be a mum at the same time really complicates things.
Has anyone else dated a single parent? Would it bother you if he/she had a kid? Or perhaps you're a single parent and you've been through something like this already.
I am a single parent and got left by my then ex... Relationships are hard now specially now i have 2 kids. Also been pregnant yet again and single (though i ended things this time) It's harder still. Now i will be single with 3. Life's hard at times but i just get on with it.
But people who i ever get in to a relationship will just have to be aware that i do have 3 kids, it would be a matter of accepting them all or it would be nothing. I have them to think about.
If that means me having to be single then so be it.
But people who i ever get in to a relationship will just have to be aware that i do have 3 kids, it would be a matter of accepting them all or it would be nothing. I have them to think about.
If that means me having to be single then so be it.
With my ex she wanted nothing to do with the father, but he wanted to but of course only after many years of giving him nothing. Strange how they suddenly want to see their kids when they're already growing up.
One thing that would concern me would be the relationship the kids have with their father.
@ngel will your 3 kids have much of a relationship with their dads?
When I do meet single mothers their past has usually been a bad one. My ex used to be treated badly and get beaten by him, I think one time he tried to slit her wrist.
One thing that would concern me would be the relationship the kids have with their father.
@ngel will your 3 kids have much of a relationship with their dads?
When I do meet single mothers their past has usually been a bad one. My ex used to be treated badly and get beaten by him, I think one time he tried to slit her wrist.
My 2 boys see there dad. THough not as often as i would like them to. As for dad to this baby, he doesnt want to know. I have said nothing about him not seeing the child. I showed you what he told me about the situation and it disgusted me. But its his choice.
Having another relationship is probably the last thing on your mind right now I guess. :/
When do you find out the sex of the baby? :) I'm guessing a girl again, I was right with pb, which if you're reading this pb I hope she is doing well :D
When do you find out the sex of the baby? :) I'm guessing a girl again, I was right with pb, which if you're reading this pb I hope she is doing well :D
Wouldnt mind another boy... I have an appt tomorrow, booking in just blood tests etc... paperwork... Not sure ill get a scan tomorrow might not be till week 20. But ill keep you updated.
The only issue for me with dating single parents, in all honesty, is my problem with jealousy. In a lot of cases they still have their ex in their life, and I would find it so difficult to take my mind off the fact that these two people were very, very much in love at one time or another, maybe until very recently. Can't help feeling, right or wrong, that there will always be some feelings there deep down ...
It's insecurity on my part I know, I'm the same with girls who don't have children, although it's far less common for them to have their ex still in their lives, so it's not so much of a problem. To dwell on how much your partner was in love with someone else before you came along is pointless and hurtful, and I have no idea why I do it ... I know full well that it hurts to think in this way, yet some masochistic side of me still dwells on it. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, but I cannot explain why.
Don't know if it's only me who does this, but it's something I have to tackle and resolve, I can't allow myself to carry on going through life being ruled by negative feelings. Jealousy is the worst emotion there is and will easily destroy relationships in no time, and it can make people very bitter indeed.
As for the children aspect - well I think if you love the person you love everything about them, including their children - obviously there's more to it than that - will the children accept you into the family willingly? assuming he is still around, will the father see you as a threat to his role? and so on ...
Unless the person deceived you for a long time, then in most cases you would know they had children from the start. If you carried on with the relationship knowing that the children were always going to be a problem, then you're only going to hurt both of you in the end - and yes, even the children too if they have grown accustomed to you being around.
Honesty and communication is so important, but then it is in any relationship if it is going to last ...
It's insecurity on my part I know, I'm the same with girls who don't have children, although it's far less common for them to have their ex still in their lives, so it's not so much of a problem. To dwell on how much your partner was in love with someone else before you came along is pointless and hurtful, and I have no idea why I do it ... I know full well that it hurts to think in this way, yet some masochistic side of me still dwells on it. I consider myself reasonably intelligent, but I cannot explain why.
Don't know if it's only me who does this, but it's something I have to tackle and resolve, I can't allow myself to carry on going through life being ruled by negative feelings. Jealousy is the worst emotion there is and will easily destroy relationships in no time, and it can make people very bitter indeed.
As for the children aspect - well I think if you love the person you love everything about them, including their children - obviously there's more to it than that - will the children accept you into the family willingly? assuming he is still around, will the father see you as a threat to his role? and so on ...
Unless the person deceived you for a long time, then in most cases you would know they had children from the start. If you carried on with the relationship knowing that the children were always going to be a problem, then you're only going to hurt both of you in the end - and yes, even the children too if they have grown accustomed to you being around.
Honesty and communication is so important, but then it is in any relationship if it is going to last ...
Machie wrote:
I was right with pb, which if you're reading this pb I
> hope she is doing well :D
Yeah, fine. In fact, she's less trouble than the first was at that age (just under 3 months now). They're both great and I feel lucky to be a dad to them...
I was right with pb, which if you're reading this pb I
> hope she is doing well :D
Yeah, fine. In fact, she's less trouble than the first was at that age (just under 3 months now). They're both great and I feel lucky to be a dad to them...
If I was single, it wouldn't bother me, dating a single mother, but what would get in the way would probably be views on raising the children if they were very different from my own.
What about the other way though? If you were a woman dating a man that still had strong ties to his children (either from regular access or from the death of his wife)?
What about the other way though? If you were a woman dating a man that still had strong ties to his children (either from regular access or from the death of his wife)?
Oh that's good pb, glad to hear it :D
Well if I was a dad and I was on my own for whatever reason, I guess I might find it a little difficult, are women more acceptable about single parents than guys? I dont think we have any females around to answer that :(
Well if I was a dad and I was on my own for whatever reason, I guess I might find it a little difficult, are women more acceptable about single parents than guys? I dont think we have any females around to answer that :(
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