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"Crossroads".
Not the really cool Walter Hill movie with Ralph Machio about blues guitarists, no, that movie was excellent.
This Crossroads is the title of Britney Spears' new movie.
And, just so you know, I will find your house and come visit if you so much as set foot in the cinema to see this.
She cannot sing.
She lip-synchs to everything. She is not sexy, unless the idea of a robot-from-the-future with a bomb in her ribcage and shark-eyes is attractive to you.
She is vacous, a danger to your children and has no concept of irony.
"I'm a virgin, I don't believe in exploiting sex to sell records"
Excuse me? What the hell is dancing around in a school uniform singing "Hit me baby one more time"?
It's appealing to sado-masochistic sexual fantasy is what it is.
Who fell for that?
Who actually thought that song was good and she was hot?
You got played by marketing demons, get over it.
This floater movie should, in a world of justice, bomb.
But it won't, because little girls will go watch it and smile as the android tries to not walk into furniture.
This.
Movie.
Will.
Suck.
IF you are a man and you watch this, you are creepy and have sweaty palms.
IF you are a woman and you watch this, you are secretly a bimbo-wannabe with no sense of self-identity and you will never find a man, except for a hairy welder that will beat you because "he loves you"
IF you are a kid and you watch this, then you're stupid and you have a future working in garages being forced to listen to the pap through the piped-radio stations they have there.
I have seen with horror and dread the end of the world, it is called "Crossroads".
Go watch a porno movie over the net, at least they don't try and make records.
Not the really cool Walter Hill movie with Ralph Machio about blues guitarists, no, that movie was excellent.
This Crossroads is the title of Britney Spears' new movie.
And, just so you know, I will find your house and come visit if you so much as set foot in the cinema to see this.
She cannot sing.
She lip-synchs to everything. She is not sexy, unless the idea of a robot-from-the-future with a bomb in her ribcage and shark-eyes is attractive to you.
She is vacous, a danger to your children and has no concept of irony.
"I'm a virgin, I don't believe in exploiting sex to sell records"
Excuse me? What the hell is dancing around in a school uniform singing "Hit me baby one more time"?
It's appealing to sado-masochistic sexual fantasy is what it is.
Who fell for that?
Who actually thought that song was good and she was hot?
You got played by marketing demons, get over it.
This floater movie should, in a world of justice, bomb.
But it won't, because little girls will go watch it and smile as the android tries to not walk into furniture.
This.
Movie.
Will.
Suck.
IF you are a man and you watch this, you are creepy and have sweaty palms.
IF you are a woman and you watch this, you are secretly a bimbo-wannabe with no sense of self-identity and you will never find a man, except for a hairy welder that will beat you because "he loves you"
IF you are a kid and you watch this, then you're stupid and you have a future working in garages being forced to listen to the pap through the piped-radio stations they have there.
I have seen with horror and dread the end of the world, it is called "Crossroads".
Go watch a porno movie over the net, at least they don't try and make records.
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Damn I was hoping that was the real plot...
Meka Dragon wrote:
> I'm going to go research this movie now.
Okay: "Three high school girls, from a small Georgia town, who used to be best friends when they were younger, but now have very different personalities (a cheerleader, a straight-A student and a "burnout", whatever that means) (Spears plays the smart one) get together for a trip across the country. Along the way, they meet a musician who persuades them to go to Los Angeles to compete in a musical contest..."
And it was provisionally titled "What Friends Are For"
What the heck is Dan Aykroyd doing in this movie? (Britney's dad)
> I'm going to go research this movie now.
Okay: "Three high school girls, from a small Georgia town, who used to be best friends when they were younger, but now have very different personalities (a cheerleader, a straight-A student and a "burnout", whatever that means) (Spears plays the smart one) get together for a trip across the country. Along the way, they meet a musician who persuades them to go to Los Angeles to compete in a musical contest..."
And it was provisionally titled "What Friends Are For"
What the heck is Dan Aykroyd doing in this movie? (Britney's dad)
Eh?
All I know is that the dead-eyed medusa has made a film.
The plot I posted was a wish.
The real plot concerns her at college discovering true love with someone that was her friend all along and entering a band competition where she sings "I love rock and roll"
When interviewed about why that song, Spears said "I've always loved Pat Benetar"
Man, this doe-eyed robot deserves the cow-bolt to the head.
All I know is that the dead-eyed medusa has made a film.
The plot I posted was a wish.
The real plot concerns her at college discovering true love with someone that was her friend all along and entering a band competition where she sings "I love rock and roll"
When interviewed about why that song, Spears said "I've always loved Pat Benetar"
Man, this doe-eyed robot deserves the cow-bolt to the head.
I'm going to go research this movie now.
Oh I trust you I was just a little concerned as you seemed to know a lot about it.
No, but I don't need to smash my testicles with a brick to know that it will hurt.
This movie is flyblown and a danger to our future survival as No.1 in the food chain.
Trust me on this.
This movie is flyblown and a danger to our future survival as No.1 in the food chain.
Trust me on this.
Now THAT sounds like a movie!
Seriously though, didn't Britney want Madonna to play her mum in this film or something?
Not that I have any intention whatsoever of seeing it.
Unless Empire let me do so for free. (Just kidding)
Seriously though, didn't Britney want Madonna to play her mum in this film or something?
Not that I have any intention whatsoever of seeing it.
Unless Empire let me do so for free. (Just kidding)
Did you go and see this or sommit Goaty?
She is a robot from the future, sent back to warp the minds of innocent (gullible) pre-teen girls and to appeal to the twisted sexual fantasies of clammy-hand, mouthbreathing adult males.
Her adversary, Guitar Man, is sent back to prevent the onslaught of this dead-eyed assassin of taste and to save the world through heartfelt, self-penned songs that require more than a wonderbra and a Pepsi campaign.
However, Guitar Man arrives in the late 20th century to find that Evil Robot Britney has already sunk her tentacles into the spinal-column of our psyche and is creating a Matrix like world, where people sleep and imagine they are free in a world of their own creation.
But the horrible truth is revealed that humans are no longer required, and are merely kept in stasis to provide funds to the evil Warner-Corps.
Guitar Man falls to his knees (in a desert) and screams outloud to the gods of decency and taste to save the humans from this insidious menace of fabricated music, but he is too late.
As he gets ready to depart back to the future, Guitar Man takes a final look at the state of the world.
He sees a cultural wasteland, with massive attack-craft called "Marketing Campaign" lay waste to the small pockets of rebels called "Musicians".
The rebels hide underground, occasionally breaking through to launch attacks on the Matrix-like mainframe known only as "The Chart", but they invariably fail and are silenced by Warner-Corps.
Looking back through our history, he sees mythical figures with strange names like Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Stevy Ray Vaughn and Janis Joplin.
But these old-world heroes are only remembered in dreams, for the reality is a barren-desert, completely under the control of Warner-Corps.
And he weeps.
Her adversary, Guitar Man, is sent back to prevent the onslaught of this dead-eyed assassin of taste and to save the world through heartfelt, self-penned songs that require more than a wonderbra and a Pepsi campaign.
However, Guitar Man arrives in the late 20th century to find that Evil Robot Britney has already sunk her tentacles into the spinal-column of our psyche and is creating a Matrix like world, where people sleep and imagine they are free in a world of their own creation.
But the horrible truth is revealed that humans are no longer required, and are merely kept in stasis to provide funds to the evil Warner-Corps.
Guitar Man falls to his knees (in a desert) and screams outloud to the gods of decency and taste to save the humans from this insidious menace of fabricated music, but he is too late.
As he gets ready to depart back to the future, Guitar Man takes a final look at the state of the world.
He sees a cultural wasteland, with massive attack-craft called "Marketing Campaign" lay waste to the small pockets of rebels called "Musicians".
The rebels hide underground, occasionally breaking through to launch attacks on the Matrix-like mainframe known only as "The Chart", but they invariably fail and are silenced by Warner-Corps.
Looking back through our history, he sees mythical figures with strange names like Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Stevy Ray Vaughn and Janis Joplin.
But these old-world heroes are only remembered in dreams, for the reality is a barren-desert, completely under the control of Warner-Corps.
And he weeps.
What's the story of the movie, anyway, out of interest.
Anyone know?
Anyone know?
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