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For those of you who didn’t speak to me last night, I broke up with my girlfriend and turned to cheap cider and beer for the evening. It turns out the two don’t mix well. I cannot remember a thing after about 8 O’clock, so here is my little, entirely true, story.
I woke up this afternoon (about 25 minutes ago) with my mouth tasting like a combination of an ashtray and a urinal. My head feels like someone ripped it off and played 17 games of basketball with it and my arms and legs are entirely numb.
I somehow managed to drag myself into the shower, I then fell out of it and happened to be wet and naked on the floor when the lady who lived next door came round to ‘see our new bathroom’. She seemed chuffed with herself but I had to grab a towel and sprint for my bedroom.
I thought I would try and relax a bit until the ‘still drunk but not in a good way’ feeling wore off. I turned on the TV, saw Sophie Ellis Bextor, then turned it off and went to the CD player instead. I was about to drown out all noises within a 6 mile radius with my Nickelback album, when my phone stopped me.
It was my ex girlfriend saying how sorry she was and how she wanted to make it up to me. Too tired and still a bit drunk to argue otherwise I told her that, “We would still be friends and stuff.” So she happily hung up.
I turned around and was about to hit ‘play’ on my stereo when my phone rang again. It was another girl who I apparently ‘spent half the night with’, however I don’t recall anything. She was telling me ‘how good we are together and that she is so glad we are together now’. I literally dropped the phone (been the melodramatic idiot I am) and told her I would call her back in a minute.
Too stunned to play by CD now, I went to get something to eat (fully clothed at this point), I then got a text message from yet another girl saying how I had been on the phone telling her I loved her. I thought about dropping the phone dramatically again but the kitchen floor is stone, so I didn’t.
I ate my soggy cornflakes and decided to put my ordeal into words and see what a drunken klutz I truly am. I have no idea how I am going to sort this all out and I don’t remember the majority of my night, I have been told I arrived home at 3AM though.
The moral of this story? Everything in moderation. I don’t think I will be drinking as much this Christmas somehow.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and enjoy the time off school/work/dole
Take care and have fun with your loved ones.
-kyz˛˛-
I woke up this afternoon (about 25 minutes ago) with my mouth tasting like a combination of an ashtray and a urinal. My head feels like someone ripped it off and played 17 games of basketball with it and my arms and legs are entirely numb.
I somehow managed to drag myself into the shower, I then fell out of it and happened to be wet and naked on the floor when the lady who lived next door came round to ‘see our new bathroom’. She seemed chuffed with herself but I had to grab a towel and sprint for my bedroom.
I thought I would try and relax a bit until the ‘still drunk but not in a good way’ feeling wore off. I turned on the TV, saw Sophie Ellis Bextor, then turned it off and went to the CD player instead. I was about to drown out all noises within a 6 mile radius with my Nickelback album, when my phone stopped me.
It was my ex girlfriend saying how sorry she was and how she wanted to make it up to me. Too tired and still a bit drunk to argue otherwise I told her that, “We would still be friends and stuff.” So she happily hung up.
I turned around and was about to hit ‘play’ on my stereo when my phone rang again. It was another girl who I apparently ‘spent half the night with’, however I don’t recall anything. She was telling me ‘how good we are together and that she is so glad we are together now’. I literally dropped the phone (been the melodramatic idiot I am) and told her I would call her back in a minute.
Too stunned to play by CD now, I went to get something to eat (fully clothed at this point), I then got a text message from yet another girl saying how I had been on the phone telling her I loved her. I thought about dropping the phone dramatically again but the kitchen floor is stone, so I didn’t.
I ate my soggy cornflakes and decided to put my ordeal into words and see what a drunken klutz I truly am. I have no idea how I am going to sort this all out and I don’t remember the majority of my night, I have been told I arrived home at 3AM though.
The moral of this story? Everything in moderation. I don’t think I will be drinking as much this Christmas somehow.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and enjoy the time off school/work/dole
Take care and have fun with your loved ones.
-kyz˛˛-
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lol unlucky
Sounds like a classic night.
I remember going back to my mate's girlfriend's parent's house after a night out and he soon took to the bed in their spare room claiming he was ill. After about five minutes I had the cunning plan of opening his door and running into the room to (hilariously) jump on his bed. Mates huh? Anyway as I've only been there once before I get detailed instructios as to how to find the room and I sneak up to the room, stiffle my girly giggles and whack the door open, start running for the bed and stop instantly in mortal fear and romorse when the light snaps on and I'm confronted with "the parents" looking very shocked.
Needless to say they had the last laugh.
I remember going back to my mate's girlfriend's parent's house after a night out and he soon took to the bed in their spare room claiming he was ill. After about five minutes I had the cunning plan of opening his door and running into the room to (hilariously) jump on his bed. Mates huh? Anyway as I've only been there once before I get detailed instructios as to how to find the room and I sneak up to the room, stiffle my girly giggles and whack the door open, start running for the bed and stop instantly in mortal fear and romorse when the light snaps on and I'm confronted with "the parents" looking very shocked.
Needless to say they had the last laugh.
To top it all (for me)
I just got rejected.
Yay.
I just got rejected.
Yay.
Delorentis wrote:
> I threw myself through a hedge that (after 10 pints of Guiness and
> more whiskey than anyone should drink) looked quite thick.
>
> The girl I was with *cringe* said it was one of the funniest things
> she has ever seen and explained why the next day.
>
> The hedge was 4 feet high - more shrubby than anything else and a
> fully grown man, lying in a patch of winter flowers at 2 in the
> morning, swearing at all things green and muddy is quite funny. Or
> pathetic. Or both.
>
> :|
Lol lol :-)
> I threw myself through a hedge that (after 10 pints of Guiness and
> more whiskey than anyone should drink) looked quite thick.
>
> The girl I was with *cringe* said it was one of the funniest things
> she has ever seen and explained why the next day.
>
> The hedge was 4 feet high - more shrubby than anything else and a
> fully grown man, lying in a patch of winter flowers at 2 in the
> morning, swearing at all things green and muddy is quite funny. Or
> pathetic. Or both.
>
> :|
Lol lol :-)
SHEEPY wrote:
> I can think of worse things than three laaadddiees after me
I hadn't looked at it like that. Nice!
> I can think of worse things than three laaadddiees after me
I hadn't looked at it like that. Nice!
I threw myself through a hedge that (after 10 pints of Guiness and more whiskey than anyone should drink) looked quite thick.
The girl I was with *cringe* said it was one of the funniest things she has ever seen and explained why the next day.
The hedge was 4 feet high - more shrubby than anything else and a fully grown man, lying in a patch of winter flowers at 2 in the morning, swearing at all things green and muddy is quite funny. Or pathetic. Or both.
:|
The girl I was with *cringe* said it was one of the funniest things she has ever seen and explained why the next day.
The hedge was 4 feet high - more shrubby than anything else and a fully grown man, lying in a patch of winter flowers at 2 in the morning, swearing at all things green and muddy is quite funny. Or pathetic. Or both.
:|
I can think of worse things than three laaadddiees after me
Although they might be mingers and you could have got them up the duff OORRR they're blokes
Although they might be mingers and you could have got them up the duff OORRR they're blokes
Hmmm..sometimes it's enough to stop me being teatotal.
I'll never wake not knowing what the hell has been going on for the past 12 hours...
Seems a shame.
I'll never wake not knowing what the hell has been going on for the past 12 hours...
Seems a shame.
For those of you who didn’t speak to me last night, I broke up with my girlfriend and turned to cheap cider and beer for the evening. It turns out the two don’t mix well. I cannot remember a thing after about 8 O’clock, so here is my little, entirely true, story.
I woke up this afternoon (about 25 minutes ago) with my mouth tasting like a combination of an ashtray and a urinal. My head feels like someone ripped it off and played 17 games of basketball with it and my arms and legs are entirely numb.
I somehow managed to drag myself into the shower, I then fell out of it and happened to be wet and naked on the floor when the lady who lived next door came round to ‘see our new bathroom’. She seemed chuffed with herself but I had to grab a towel and sprint for my bedroom.
I thought I would try and relax a bit until the ‘still drunk but not in a good way’ feeling wore off. I turned on the TV, saw Sophie Ellis Bextor, then turned it off and went to the CD player instead. I was about to drown out all noises within a 6 mile radius with my Nickelback album, when my phone stopped me.
It was my ex girlfriend saying how sorry she was and how she wanted to make it up to me. Too tired and still a bit drunk to argue otherwise I told her that, “We would still be friends and stuff.” So she happily hung up.
I turned around and was about to hit ‘play’ on my stereo when my phone rang again. It was another girl who I apparently ‘spent half the night with’, however I don’t recall anything. She was telling me ‘how good we are together and that she is so glad we are together now’. I literally dropped the phone (been the melodramatic idiot I am) and told her I would call her back in a minute.
Too stunned to play by CD now, I went to get something to eat (fully clothed at this point), I then got a text message from yet another girl saying how I had been on the phone telling her I loved her. I thought about dropping the phone dramatically again but the kitchen floor is stone, so I didn’t.
I ate my soggy cornflakes and decided to put my ordeal into words and see what a drunken klutz I truly am. I have no idea how I am going to sort this all out and I don’t remember the majority of my night, I have been told I arrived home at 3AM though.
The moral of this story? Everything in moderation. I don’t think I will be drinking as much this Christmas somehow.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and enjoy the time off school/work/dole
Take care and have fun with your loved ones.
-kyz˛˛-
I woke up this afternoon (about 25 minutes ago) with my mouth tasting like a combination of an ashtray and a urinal. My head feels like someone ripped it off and played 17 games of basketball with it and my arms and legs are entirely numb.
I somehow managed to drag myself into the shower, I then fell out of it and happened to be wet and naked on the floor when the lady who lived next door came round to ‘see our new bathroom’. She seemed chuffed with herself but I had to grab a towel and sprint for my bedroom.
I thought I would try and relax a bit until the ‘still drunk but not in a good way’ feeling wore off. I turned on the TV, saw Sophie Ellis Bextor, then turned it off and went to the CD player instead. I was about to drown out all noises within a 6 mile radius with my Nickelback album, when my phone stopped me.
It was my ex girlfriend saying how sorry she was and how she wanted to make it up to me. Too tired and still a bit drunk to argue otherwise I told her that, “We would still be friends and stuff.” So she happily hung up.
I turned around and was about to hit ‘play’ on my stereo when my phone rang again. It was another girl who I apparently ‘spent half the night with’, however I don’t recall anything. She was telling me ‘how good we are together and that she is so glad we are together now’. I literally dropped the phone (been the melodramatic idiot I am) and told her I would call her back in a minute.
Too stunned to play by CD now, I went to get something to eat (fully clothed at this point), I then got a text message from yet another girl saying how I had been on the phone telling her I loved her. I thought about dropping the phone dramatically again but the kitchen floor is stone, so I didn’t.
I ate my soggy cornflakes and decided to put my ordeal into words and see what a drunken klutz I truly am. I have no idea how I am going to sort this all out and I don’t remember the majority of my night, I have been told I arrived home at 3AM though.
The moral of this story? Everything in moderation. I don’t think I will be drinking as much this Christmas somehow.
I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas and enjoy the time off school/work/dole
Take care and have fun with your loved ones.
-kyz˛˛-
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