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"The Window Cleaner Song"

You may have read on the forums earlier that I was sitting at the computer in my underwear - minding my own business - when the bloody window cleaner pops up by the window!

Traumatic for me, to say the least.

Anyway, here's "The Window Cleaner Song", sung to the tune of "Driving in my Car".

(Co-written by myself and Microchips)



Sitting in my underwear
Scared when window cleaners stare
Posting crap on the forums
Cleaner staring at my buns

Sitting in my underwear
It's windy and my bum is bare
Listening to The Offspring
Window cleaner likes my thing

Sitting in my underwear
The window cleaner doesn't care
He goes to cleam my new windows
He pervs when I touch my toes

Sitting in my underwear
Got to hide though not sure where
He likes to use a dirty rag
I'm pretty sure he'd rather shag

Sitting on my comfy stool
I know he's gay, I'm not some fool
Trying not to bend over
'Cause he'd touch there I'm sure

Sitting in my underwear
He'd like to stick his thing up there
Eyeing up my juicy bone
Call the cops, pick up the phone

Sitting in my lovely briefs
He'd like to feel what's underneath
Suddenly my hands are
He's getting mean, I'm petrified

He'd like to feel around my ***
I say "**** off, go clean the glass"
My back end he tries to touch
He makes me mad, I KICK HIS CROTCH

I push his ladder off the house
That's the end of pubic louse
He falls from the second floor
Perve on me? Not any more!

I'm popping this 'cos it's freakin' old school, man. You don't GET quality like this anymore.

I love this.

Oh God I love this. :D

The line about my Ass/clean the glass- that was my best one! :D

We truly are the greatest guys.

Oh dear
Oh dear

...

Oh dear.

What I don't get is how this magical window cleaner can put his hands through the window (seeing as he's cleaning the outside of the windows) and touch him.

:-|