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Ouch, that says it all really; I am in a lot of pain right now.
I just finished a game of 5-a-side football at school, but there just so happened to be 6 in each team, strange. I was playing like the soccer dynamo I am but then was harshly kicked in the ankle by a clumsy retard who doesn't understand the concept of tackling. I promptly punched him in the face (Call it natural instinct or psychotic behaviour) and was red carded. I begrudgingly went off and got a little pleasure when I saw the guys nose bleeding from my punch.
Sat on a bench in the cold, sweaty sports hall I sat thinking, "This wouldn't happen in a computer football game, would it?"
In the thirty-something minutes I sat there I came up with a few original concepts you may appreciate. Whether it is Fifa or Pro evolution that you play for your footballing kicks (Great pun, eh!) imagine these 'additional extras' in the game to spice it up a little bit.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Psycho mode - If your selected player is frustrated because the team are 3 goals behind, or because the other teams cente forward has been 'visiting' his wife, he should be able to switch to psycho mode. There could be an on-screen psycho meter which goes up when the other team scores, when a team mate is fouled or when the referee makes an unjust decision. Once the meter is full you player could unleash his rage on the other team. This could include simple vicious tackling ranging to punches, heatbutts and taking off the boot and clouting them over the head with it. You should also be able to attack the crowd Eric Cantona style (A.K.A dropkick in the face).
Psycho mode would not only take out your in-game aggression, but could solve personal vendettas against teams you truly dislike in the league.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cheating mode – You have seen the Brazilians and the Argentineans do it against England, now its your turn. You can hit the ball with any flailing body part and confuse the other team. As in most international clashes, the referee will have been bribed by your manager to turn a blind eye to your cheating ways. You can goal hang as much as you wish because despite the other teams complaints, the referee will enact the “I don’t understand English” technique. You can re-enact your favourite cheating moments with specials such as the ‘Hand of God’. You can out-cheat your team to victory, or can you?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Faking it – If you watch any Italian, Argentinean, Tottenham Hotspurs game, you will notice the amount of dives is phenomenal! You could have such options as “fall over and cry”, “clasp face and scream” and “play dead” at your disposal. You can throw yourself over in the box to claim a penalty, or when you find yourself in a tricky situation you just need to collapse to the floor to win a free kick. The referees will be home grown Brazilians who blow the whistle more often then Jordan has had surgery. But it doesn’t have to stop there; you could progress to the level of the Argentineans themselves. You could throw yourself over when the ball is at the other side of the pitch, and the cheating 3rd official would wave his arms manically to give you a free kick. You could also copycat such cheating idiots as Rivaldo (Worldcup ’02), Crespo (Champions league ’02) or the Tottenham squad (Each and every game).
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I would have probably though up some more, but the bell went and I hobbled home on my badly bruised ankle.
Hope you liked reading this.
-kyz²²-
I just finished a game of 5-a-side football at school, but there just so happened to be 6 in each team, strange. I was playing like the soccer dynamo I am but then was harshly kicked in the ankle by a clumsy retard who doesn't understand the concept of tackling. I promptly punched him in the face (Call it natural instinct or psychotic behaviour) and was red carded. I begrudgingly went off and got a little pleasure when I saw the guys nose bleeding from my punch.
Sat on a bench in the cold, sweaty sports hall I sat thinking, "This wouldn't happen in a computer football game, would it?"
In the thirty-something minutes I sat there I came up with a few original concepts you may appreciate. Whether it is Fifa or Pro evolution that you play for your footballing kicks (Great pun, eh!) imagine these 'additional extras' in the game to spice it up a little bit.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Psycho mode - If your selected player is frustrated because the team are 3 goals behind, or because the other teams cente forward has been 'visiting' his wife, he should be able to switch to psycho mode. There could be an on-screen psycho meter which goes up when the other team scores, when a team mate is fouled or when the referee makes an unjust decision. Once the meter is full you player could unleash his rage on the other team. This could include simple vicious tackling ranging to punches, heatbutts and taking off the boot and clouting them over the head with it. You should also be able to attack the crowd Eric Cantona style (A.K.A dropkick in the face).
Psycho mode would not only take out your in-game aggression, but could solve personal vendettas against teams you truly dislike in the league.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cheating mode – You have seen the Brazilians and the Argentineans do it against England, now its your turn. You can hit the ball with any flailing body part and confuse the other team. As in most international clashes, the referee will have been bribed by your manager to turn a blind eye to your cheating ways. You can goal hang as much as you wish because despite the other teams complaints, the referee will enact the “I don’t understand English” technique. You can re-enact your favourite cheating moments with specials such as the ‘Hand of God’. You can out-cheat your team to victory, or can you?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Faking it – If you watch any Italian, Argentinean, Tottenham Hotspurs game, you will notice the amount of dives is phenomenal! You could have such options as “fall over and cry”, “clasp face and scream” and “play dead” at your disposal. You can throw yourself over in the box to claim a penalty, or when you find yourself in a tricky situation you just need to collapse to the floor to win a free kick. The referees will be home grown Brazilians who blow the whistle more often then Jordan has had surgery. But it doesn’t have to stop there; you could progress to the level of the Argentineans themselves. You could throw yourself over when the ball is at the other side of the pitch, and the cheating 3rd official would wave his arms manically to give you a free kick. You could also copycat such cheating idiots as Rivaldo (Worldcup ’02), Crespo (Champions league ’02) or the Tottenham squad (Each and every game).
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I would have probably though up some more, but the bell went and I hobbled home on my badly bruised ankle.
Hope you liked reading this.
-kyz²²-
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Kyz22 wrote:
>> Psycho mode -
Ah, you mean Lee Bowyer mode.
>> Psycho mode -
Ah, you mean Lee Bowyer mode.
( . )Juicy Melons( . ) wrote:
> Hey, would you people leave Spurs alone? Thay aren't "that"
> bad. Anyways, nive post Kyle.
*Cough* Southampton *Cough*
> Hey, would you people leave Spurs alone? Thay aren't "that"
> bad. Anyways, nive post Kyle.
*Cough* Southampton *Cough*
Thanks for the comments guys, but I won't leave spurs alone, yet.
Verve wrote:
> Quite surprised you didn't put, "And Owen, you know, the dive
> that put out Argentina....."
---
I very much agree.
:-)
> Quite surprised you didn't put, "And Owen, you know, the dive
> that put out Argentina....."
---
I very much agree.
:-)
Hey, would you people leave Spurs alone? Thay aren't "that" bad. Anyways, nive post Kyle.
Verve wrote:
>
> Quite surprised you didn't put, "And Owen, you know, the dive
> that put out Argentina....."
> :-D
Prat.
Anyways, nice one.
>
> Quite surprised you didn't put, "And Owen, you know, the dive
> that put out Argentina....."
> :-D
Prat.
Anyways, nice one.
Kyz22 wrote:
> You could also copycat such cheating idiots as
> Rivaldo (Worldcup ’02), Crespo (Champions league ’02) or the Tottenham
> squad (Each and every game).
Quite surprised you didn't put, "And Owen, you know, the dive that put out Argentina....."
:-D
(Note: I'm Scottish. Explains a lot, huh?)
:-D
Anyway, great post mate, and well done on punchin' that guy.
Heh, that'll learn 'em!
> You could also copycat such cheating idiots as
> Rivaldo (Worldcup ’02), Crespo (Champions league ’02) or the Tottenham
> squad (Each and every game).
Quite surprised you didn't put, "And Owen, you know, the dive that put out Argentina....."
:-D
(Note: I'm Scottish. Explains a lot, huh?)
:-D
Anyway, great post mate, and well done on punchin' that guy.
Heh, that'll learn 'em!
Nice post Kyle. However, punching him probably wasn't a good idea. In football the best way to get revenge on a harsh challenge is to roll all over the floor and act like you are dying. Then he will hopefully be sent off and you can smile at him. Then punch AFTer the game!
I thought footie games were frustrating enough with refs making dodgy decisions.
Still, some funny ideas there Kyz!
Still, some funny ideas there Kyz!
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