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I got to watch a film I’d always wanted to see for years over the holiday.
The Wicker Man.
I’ve read a bunch of stuff about this movie and watched the documentary a few nights before by Mark Kermode (that dude knows his films). It looked cool, interviews with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee etc about how disturbing etc they found it and the lack of audience.
Now I know The Wicker Man is a cult movie, and that usually means I’ll like it.
So I sat down with my big bag of chips’n’dip and settled in to watch this classic “British Cult Horror”.
And it was bad.
I mean really, a***-clenchingly terrible.
Plot?
Edward Woodwardwoodward is a hardcore Christian police dude that receives a letter from someone on a remote Scottish island, talking about the disappearance of a little girl.
He goes over there, locals are strange and unwelcoming and…well…that’s about it.
Christopher Lee plays a Lord of the Manor with a penchant for walking about in a dress and wig whilst chunky thighed maidens run through the orchard naked.
Edwardwoodwardowood wanders about getting moody because the islanders are heathens, Christopher smiles a lot and wears more dresses and Britt Ekland decides to dance naked in her room (this bit is the only good bit of this movie).
And there’s lots of singing.
And men with whiskery faces looking suspicious.
Finally, after 90mins of singing ugly-naked people, Edwardwoodwardwoodward is taken by the heathens and burnt in a big wicker man because then the island’s apples will grow nicer next year.
It really is a bad film.
Just lots of singing islanders, Christopher Lee in a dress and Edwardwardwoodward shouting about “Jesus” whilst he keeps finding dead rabbits and stuff in his shoes.
I was so disappointed with this movie, I’d heard quite a lot of good things about it.
But it’s bloody awful.
Imagine going to watch a children’s nativity play doing a “League of Gentlemen” episode, but leaving out the menace and humour.
Just naked dancing scottish folk and Christopher Lee in drag.
Rubbish.
The Wicker Man.
I’ve read a bunch of stuff about this movie and watched the documentary a few nights before by Mark Kermode (that dude knows his films). It looked cool, interviews with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee etc about how disturbing etc they found it and the lack of audience.
Now I know The Wicker Man is a cult movie, and that usually means I’ll like it.
So I sat down with my big bag of chips’n’dip and settled in to watch this classic “British Cult Horror”.
And it was bad.
I mean really, a***-clenchingly terrible.
Plot?
Edward Woodwardwoodward is a hardcore Christian police dude that receives a letter from someone on a remote Scottish island, talking about the disappearance of a little girl.
He goes over there, locals are strange and unwelcoming and…well…that’s about it.
Christopher Lee plays a Lord of the Manor with a penchant for walking about in a dress and wig whilst chunky thighed maidens run through the orchard naked.
Edwardwoodwardowood wanders about getting moody because the islanders are heathens, Christopher smiles a lot and wears more dresses and Britt Ekland decides to dance naked in her room (this bit is the only good bit of this movie).
And there’s lots of singing.
And men with whiskery faces looking suspicious.
Finally, after 90mins of singing ugly-naked people, Edwardwoodwardwoodward is taken by the heathens and burnt in a big wicker man because then the island’s apples will grow nicer next year.
It really is a bad film.
Just lots of singing islanders, Christopher Lee in a dress and Edwardwardwoodward shouting about “Jesus” whilst he keeps finding dead rabbits and stuff in his shoes.
I was so disappointed with this movie, I’d heard quite a lot of good things about it.
But it’s bloody awful.
Imagine going to watch a children’s nativity play doing a “League of Gentlemen” episode, but leaving out the menace and humour.
Just naked dancing scottish folk and Christopher Lee in drag.
Rubbish.
Page:
I've tried to care, but I just don't.
Did you like the movie, or just the bits with Britt Ekland dancing naked?
Did you like the movie, or just the bits with Britt Ekland dancing naked?
Did you notice the intro is the same as the one to Father Ted? Also, why was the film before the intro shot in a really old style and then when he reached that island the quality got better?
Meka Dragon wrote:
> I taped it.
I'll still watch it though.
---
Fair enough, it may appeal to you.
I just sat there and waited for something to happen that was interesting.
> I taped it.
I'll still watch it though.
---
Fair enough, it may appeal to you.
I just sat there and waited for something to happen that was interesting.
Stryke wrote:
> Oi, that's my beard. It's a damn good beard too. Full of plaits and dead horses.
> Stupid Ninty!
MUAH!
*Steals all of Gaz's dead horses*
> Oi, that's my beard. It's a damn good beard too. Full of plaits and dead horses.
> Stupid Ninty!
MUAH!
*Steals all of Gaz's dead horses*
I taped it.
I'll still watch it though.
Eventually.
I'll still watch it though.
Eventually.
Oi, that's my beard. It's a damn good beard too. Full of plaits and dead horses. Stupid Ninty!
I meant to watch it when it was on but forgot. Good thing I did form the sound of things...
*yanks Gaz's beard and runs off to the sanctury of the Ninty forum*
:-D
*yanks Gaz's beard and runs off to the sanctury of the Ninty forum*
:-D
So now you've seen Christopher Lee and Agent Smith in drag within the space of two weeks. Bad luck! No, this film is dire. I've only seen it once and will never see it again.
I got to watch a film I’d always wanted to see for years over the holiday.
The Wicker Man.
I’ve read a bunch of stuff about this movie and watched the documentary a few nights before by Mark Kermode (that dude knows his films). It looked cool, interviews with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee etc about how disturbing etc they found it and the lack of audience.
Now I know The Wicker Man is a cult movie, and that usually means I’ll like it.
So I sat down with my big bag of chips’n’dip and settled in to watch this classic “British Cult Horror”.
And it was bad.
I mean really, a***-clenchingly terrible.
Plot?
Edward Woodwardwoodward is a hardcore Christian police dude that receives a letter from someone on a remote Scottish island, talking about the disappearance of a little girl.
He goes over there, locals are strange and unwelcoming and…well…that’s about it.
Christopher Lee plays a Lord of the Manor with a penchant for walking about in a dress and wig whilst chunky thighed maidens run through the orchard naked.
Edwardwoodwardowood wanders about getting moody because the islanders are heathens, Christopher smiles a lot and wears more dresses and Britt Ekland decides to dance naked in her room (this bit is the only good bit of this movie).
And there’s lots of singing.
And men with whiskery faces looking suspicious.
Finally, after 90mins of singing ugly-naked people, Edwardwoodwardwoodward is taken by the heathens and burnt in a big wicker man because then the island’s apples will grow nicer next year.
It really is a bad film.
Just lots of singing islanders, Christopher Lee in a dress and Edwardwardwoodward shouting about “Jesus” whilst he keeps finding dead rabbits and stuff in his shoes.
I was so disappointed with this movie, I’d heard quite a lot of good things about it.
But it’s bloody awful.
Imagine going to watch a children’s nativity play doing a “League of Gentlemen” episode, but leaving out the menace and humour.
Just naked dancing scottish folk and Christopher Lee in drag.
Rubbish.
The Wicker Man.
I’ve read a bunch of stuff about this movie and watched the documentary a few nights before by Mark Kermode (that dude knows his films). It looked cool, interviews with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee etc about how disturbing etc they found it and the lack of audience.
Now I know The Wicker Man is a cult movie, and that usually means I’ll like it.
So I sat down with my big bag of chips’n’dip and settled in to watch this classic “British Cult Horror”.
And it was bad.
I mean really, a***-clenchingly terrible.
Plot?
Edward Woodwardwoodward is a hardcore Christian police dude that receives a letter from someone on a remote Scottish island, talking about the disappearance of a little girl.
He goes over there, locals are strange and unwelcoming and…well…that’s about it.
Christopher Lee plays a Lord of the Manor with a penchant for walking about in a dress and wig whilst chunky thighed maidens run through the orchard naked.
Edwardwoodwardowood wanders about getting moody because the islanders are heathens, Christopher smiles a lot and wears more dresses and Britt Ekland decides to dance naked in her room (this bit is the only good bit of this movie).
And there’s lots of singing.
And men with whiskery faces looking suspicious.
Finally, after 90mins of singing ugly-naked people, Edwardwoodwardwoodward is taken by the heathens and burnt in a big wicker man because then the island’s apples will grow nicer next year.
It really is a bad film.
Just lots of singing islanders, Christopher Lee in a dress and Edwardwardwoodward shouting about “Jesus” whilst he keeps finding dead rabbits and stuff in his shoes.
I was so disappointed with this movie, I’d heard quite a lot of good things about it.
But it’s bloody awful.
Imagine going to watch a children’s nativity play doing a “League of Gentlemen” episode, but leaving out the menace and humour.
Just naked dancing scottish folk and Christopher Lee in drag.
Rubbish.
Page: