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The Wicker Man.
I’ve read a bunch of stuff about this movie and watched the documentary a few nights before by Mark Kermode (that dude knows his films). It looked cool, interviews with Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee etc about how disturbing etc they found it and the lack of audience.
Now I know The Wicker Man is a cult movie, and that usually means I’ll like it.
So I sat down with my big bag of chips’n’dip and settled in to watch this classic “British Cult Horror”.
And it was bad.
I mean really, a***-clenchingly terrible.
Plot?
Edward Woodwardwoodward is a hardcore Christian police dude that receives a letter from someone on a remote Scottish island, talking about the disappearance of a little girl.
He goes over there, locals are strange and unwelcoming and…well…that’s about it.
Christopher Lee plays a Lord of the Manor with a penchant for walking about in a dress and wig whilst chunky thighed maidens run through the orchard naked.
Edwardwoodwardowood wanders about getting moody because the islanders are heathens, Christopher smiles a lot and wears more dresses and Britt Ekland decides to dance naked in her room (this bit is the only good bit of this movie).
And there’s lots of singing.
And men with whiskery faces looking suspicious.
Finally, after 90mins of singing ugly-naked people, Edwardwoodwardwoodward is taken by the heathens and burnt in a big wicker man because then the island’s apples will grow nicer next year.
It really is a bad film.
Just lots of singing islanders, Christopher Lee in a dress and Edwardwardwoodward shouting about “Jesus” whilst he keeps finding dead rabbits and stuff in his shoes.
I was so disappointed with this movie, I’d heard quite a lot of good things about it.
But it’s bloody awful.
Imagine going to watch a children’s nativity play doing a “League of Gentlemen” episode, but leaving out the menace and humour.
Just naked dancing scottish folk and Christopher Lee in drag.
Rubbish.
So it's just me then.
Fair enough.
I should've watched it when I had the chance, dammit.
:-D
A lot of people think it was actually Britt naked, including Cubby Broccoli, as he signed up Britt to become a Bond girl in the film The Man With The Golden Gun on the account of the actress' bum in the film, even though it was Jane.
Not that I don't doubt your opinion, I just want to watch as many films as I can.
Well. Films that I want to see, anyway.
Naked Dancing Scottish people...
Just go to Govan on a Friday night...
If so, I've seen your girlfriend's baps
hur hur