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"Fanboy Execution"

Now I know how much you all hate Fanboy’s. They either love the Playstation 2, Xbox or GameCube and think as themselves as the most dedicated person towards either Sony, Microsoft or Nintendo. They then turn up at the forums here at Special Reserve, choose a place to spread the word of their chosen console and then preach endlessly. Think of them as the Jehovah witnesses of the online world, the type that knock on your door every Sunday and once you think they’ve gone they always return at some point. They are the unflushables which will never go away no matter how many times they’ve been banned. They are a breed called the Fanboy.

In the past week the forums have seen a massive increase in popularity. Just take a look at the number in the brackets, at the moment its on 2257 and it’s steady. I’m normally used to seeing a figure in the mid-thousand’s. Along with the sudden increase in posts have come some quality posters who will become worthy additions to the forums, but with the quality also comes the Fanboys. Lately this has become a regular thing, causing a lot of comedy because of the idiots they are.

Many ways have been suggested to rid the forums of the Fanboy’s (I just typed that Fannyboys by accident), but how many of them will work? None.

So what’s the answer? Well I have it and although it may seem a little harsh at first you’ll soon realise it’s all a little joke – Execution.

That’s right, I am the master of Execution. So here is some simple ways to get rid of the Fanboys, minimum fuss but maximum mess.

(The following may not be suitable for Kids or Fanboys. Just a little warning.)

Hanging
Once being known of being a Fanboy the person at hand will be tied up with their hands behind their back. Once this has been done they shall be put on a cart and driven by horse slowly through the crowd of angry forum members. As this is done all that can be heard are chants like “Gutted!” and “HAHAHA!”. As these chants are shouted random games, instead of mouldy fruit, are thrown onto the Fanboy who is kneeling down with his head still high in pride. The games thrown at will are stuff like Mario, Sonic and all the other stuff Fanboys hate. Once they get thrown the Fanboy starts to cry as he can’t take being surrounded by decent games, at one point a rival console to his own may be thrown at this point suicide may occur. Once his neck has been tied to the rope he is left dangling in the air struggling to say “GC iz 4 da kiddies.”

Electric Chair
A much more frightening type of death for the Fanboy. The Fanboy is brought out, put in a chair and strapped down and then a lever is pushed so a rush of electricity is put through the chair. As the Fanboy shakes to his death he screams “PS2 TILL I DIE” and then he does die.

Lethal Injection
Done in private and a less brutal way of death is the Lethal Injection. The Fanboy is brought out and a qualified Doctor is in a room with him. Here the Fanboy puts out his arm and a lethal dose of medicine is put through his arm via an injection. Before this is done the Fanboy is asked if he has any final words, normally it is something like “PS2 Rulez!”
The Guillotine
The ultimate execution method, a machine which was designed for instant death. A Fanboy is brought up to the Guillotine and is made to rest his head in the provided slot. It is then secured there by a piece of wood and a rope is let go so that a sharp blade falls down and cuts through the neck detaching the head from the body. After the head has been detached it may still live for a few more seconds and is able to move and sometimes speak. This is because blood is still available in that region and so words like “Microsoft will rule over all!” are likely to be muttered.

So there you go, just kill them.

Or you can just ban them…

Or we could just maintain an attituide of mild superiority.

Mantalpiece wrote:
> or put him them in a room with closing in walls with spikes and water
> that fills the room up.

That would be Saddam's nursing quarters then

or tie a ton block to his head and drop him from the top of the sears tower.

ouch!

Chadyboy3 has already ben in the gillotine today .

or put him them in a room with closing in walls with spikes and water that fills the room up.

You could catpult them, therefore smashing their spine in smithereens.

Bckpac
:>P

That's gotta hurt FFF. Ouchy.

Maybe you could chip fry them?

very, well weird but extremely painful!!!!

i certainly wouldnt want the 'poking stick' let alone the rest!!! it rather just shoot myself in the head!!!

I think torture's more appropriate.
If they hadn't deleted his topic, I would have shown you the one I did for chadyboy3. Not very nice - ask Jive, he'll back me up.

Anywho, here's a new one.

Hang them by their nipples from a ceiling made of bees by rusty spikes. Then re-open their belly-button and put in a few caterpillars which will turn into giant moths inside their stomachs.
Skin them alive then wrap them in acid-coated barbed wire and roll them down a hill of mousetraps into a vat of broken glass, vinegar and lemon juice.
Then remove their feet, hands and nose, attatch bungee ropes to their eyeballs and fling them into a cactus patch filled with annoyed spiders.
Rip them a new rectum and let a few poisonous snake crawl up there with razor blades stuck to their skin.
Then inject their toungue, arms and legs with roach eggs which will hatch inside of them.
And, of course, poke them with a pointy stick.

I scare myself sometimes.

thought so...