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"Computer Problems...can anyone help?"

I assume that everyone has at least one problem with thier computer. Thats just the way Bill Gates makes them. I happen to have a good many problems that, no matter how hard I try, my minimal computer knowledge can repair.

This topic will hopefully allow poor souls (ie me) to have some more experianced computer nerds fix thier computer worries. So, anyone else with problems post them, and everyone see what they can do.

Whatever, I would *really* appriciate some help. And I don't want any smart-***e telling me to buy a Mac.

My (computer) problems:-

1. Windows thinks that I want to have multiple users on the computer. Whenever I turn the PC on, a little box comes up wanting me to log on as a user, like what they have at schools. Is there any way to stop this happening?

2. Whenever I try to open the CD/DVD-ROM drive by pressing the button on the big box thing (you know, the main tower bit of the computer, I've forgot its name), the bloody thing waits about a minute before ejecting the disc. However, if I eject it using buttons on the computer screen (like in my DVD playing software), it works perfectly.

3. Are the circumferences of DVDs supposed to be slightly jagged, or is my computer nibbeling the disks?

4. My internet connection trys to connect me to the internet every couple of minutes without me asking it to. It doesn't matter what program I'm in, or what the computer is doing - this always happens. Stop it. Please.

5. If I click on a shortcut to go into any microsoft word 97 document that I have already saved, the computer freezes. I have to get documents up by first going into Word and clicking on 'Open'.

6. I borrowed a USB Iomega Zip 100 drive from a mate. I have downloaded drivers and stuff, but apparently windows doesn’t detect a drive. What are the most common mistakes?

7. I can’t get the ‘Shreks Re-voice studio’ thing to work on the Shrek DVD.

8. When I turn the PC on, one of those boxes with a red cross on the left comes up, saying that ‘Rundll32’ has performed an illegal operation. I click on details, and it says the following…

RUNDLL32 caused an invalid page fault in
module NEWDOTNET3_22.DLL at 0177:1000ab5e.
Registers:
EAX=0107168c CS=0177 EIP=1000ab5e EFLGS=00010246
EBX=fffffd8c SS=017f ESP=0063f5dc EBP=0063f888
ECX=01070078 DS=017f ESI=00001614 FS=38f7
EDX=f09d4560 ES=017f EDI=00000000 GS=0000
Bytes at CS:EIP:
83 7c 0b 28 01 7e 54 ff 75 0c 50 e8 02 fa ff ff
Stack dump:
81634d72 00000000 00000001 01020003 01040102 01020102 01020102 525013e2 00100010 20010040 36260050 00000040 20360000 00000050 00013626 00500400

9. Also when I switch on, the computer asks me what program I want to use to open ‘xerces-c_1_3.dll’. No idea what that is.

10. There’s this girl that I like, but… :)

OK, yes, I am a muppet. That doesn’t mean you can’t help me though…

*Cheese goes off to start English coursework*

Thanks for the inspiration FM.

Salevaa's Quick Guide to taming your computer:

Save all the stuff you want to keep onto a zip drive or a couple of Re-Writable CD's.
Get out your restore disc and the floppy version.
Insert the floppy version in.
Restart computer.
Wait for on screen insctructions.
Follow on screen instructions.
Then spend the next week reinstalling all your windows software, programs that you actually need, all your old files and configuring it the way YOU want it to work as opposed to the way the factory set it up.

Oh, and look after it, run Disk Defragmenter about once a month and Disk Cleanup about once a week.
(Start > Programs > Accessories > System Tools)

If you don't have a CD-RW Drive, get one! Anyone heard about those DVD Drives that ******* are selling?

...and stop opening attachments in e-mails without running them through a virus scanner first (or configure your virus software to run in real time).

FM's Quick Guide to taming your computer:

Save all the stuff you want to keep onto a zip drive or a couple of hundred floppy disks.
Click on Start.
Click on Run.
Type in cmd
Click OK.
Type format c:
Follow the instructions.
Then spend the next week reinstalling all your windows software, programs that you actually need, all your old files and configuring it the way YOU want it to work as opposed to the way the factory set it up.

Oh, and look after it, run Disk Defragmenter about once a month and Disk Cleanup about once a week.
(Start > Programs > Accessories > System Tools)

Weird Wonder wrote:
> My Shrek DVD I got for Christmas gets to the part where Fiona slides down the
> sxlop and then freezes. You know stop start stop start. I'm just fed. All of our
> other DVDs work. Might this be because there is a smudge on the back (which I
> must mention was there when I got it) of the disk or it's just faulty, and

Yes, there would be no other likely reason that your DVD is faulty. Try rubbing the smudge off with a shirt - that normally works really well. But whatever you do, don't use any liquid of any sort - it will screw the disc!

> because it was bad when I got it ca I exchnage it with Woolworths for another
> one. (My Mum has the receit) =B0)

Reciepts are damn handy and this is a good example. Are you going to exchange it for a different DVD or the same DVD? I would suggest getting another Shrek, as the film is excellent!

Firstly, let me say that Bill Gates is more of a muppet than you'll ever be mate. Ok, I'll have a go at fixing these problems but don't expect anything.

1. Windows thinks that I want to have multiple users on the computer. Whenever I turn the PC on, a little box comes up wanting me to log on as a user, like what they have at schools. Is there any way to stop this happening?

There is - I'm not sure about this but right click on your desktop and go into properties. Look into every nook and cranny and you should find it.

2. Whenever I try to open the CD/DVD-ROM drive by pressing the button on the big box thing (you know, the main tower bit of the computer, I've forgot its name), the bloody thing waits about a minute before ejecting the disc. However, if I eject it using buttons on the computer screen (like in my DVD playing software), it works perfectly.

I used to have this with my old CD drive but I still have problems slightly with me new one. There's 2 solutions. Either get a new drive (hope you have warranty like me) or
stick with going to my computer and right-clicking on your CD drive and clicking "eject". The CD comes out almost instantly.


3. Are the circumferences of DVDs supposed to be slightly jagged, or is my computer nibbeling the disks?

Yes, they can be slightly jagged and if it has a bit off the side, it doesn't really matter - my friend was able to play Mortal Kombat 3 on the Playstation with about 1/6 of the disc missing!

4. My internet connection trys to connect me to the internet every couple of minutes without me asking it to. It doesn't matter what program I'm in, or what the computer is doing - this always happens. Stop it. Please.

Go to "Internet Options" on Tools in your browser and snoop around. If that doesn't work and you have an E-Mail account appart from Hotmail, open up Outlook and go to Tools and Options. Click the Connections tab and have a look around.
Also check out your actual ISP settings.

5. If I click on a shortcut to go into any microsoft word 97 document that I have already saved, the computer freezes. I have to get documents up by first going into Word and clicking on 'Open'.

I have no idea - try re-installing Word. If that doesn't work, restore your computer and try again - it should work. I strongly suggest that you upgrade to at least Word 2000.

6. I borrowed a USB Iomega Zip 100 drive from a mate. I have downloaded drivers and stuff, but apparently windows doesn’t detect a drive. What are the most common mistakes?

Don't know anything about zip drives - sorry.

7. I can’t get the ‘Shreks Re-voice studio’ thing to work on the Shrek DVD.

I have Shrek but I've never tried it. Open up Sound Recorder on Start, Programmes, Accessories, Entertainment and record your voice to do a test. Then it should work, if you're connected properly.

8. When I turn the PC on, one of those boxes with a red cross on the left comes up, saying that ‘Rundll32’ has performed an illegal operation. I click on details, and it says the following…

RUNDLL32 caused an invalid page fault in
module NEWDOTNET3_22.DLL at 0177:1000ab5e.
Registers:
EAX=0107168c CS=0177 EIP=1000ab5e EFLGS=00010246
EBX=fffffd8c SS=017f ESP=0063f5dc EBP=0063f888
ECX=01070078 DS=017f ESI=00001614 FS=38f7
EDX=f09d4560 ES=017f EDI=00000000 GS=0000
Bytes at CS:EIP:
83 7c 0b 28 01 7e 54 ff 75 0c 50 e8 02 fa ff ff
Stack dump:
81634d72 00000000 00000001 01020003 01040102 01020102 01020102 525013e2 00100010 20010040 36260050 00000040 20360000 00000050 00013626 00500400

I get this quite a lot - restore your system!

9. Also when I switch on, the computer asks me what program I want to use to open ‘xerces-c_1_3.dll’. No idea what that is.

Restore your system!

10. There’s this girl that I like, but… :)

I strongly suggest you Restore your system, which means wiping the computer clean and starting again. My dad restores as soon as any error comes up and it's damn irritating! If you look around, you can get Restore discs, if you don't have one.

Hope I helped in some distant way!

My Shrek DVD I got for Christmas gets to the part where Fiona slides down the sxlop and then freezes. You know stop start stop start. I'm just fed. All of our other DVDs work. Might this be because there is a smudge on the back (which I must mention was there when I got it) of the disk or it's just faulty, and because it was bad when I got it ca I exchnage it with Woolworths for another one. (My Mum has the receit) =B0)

Go get her tiger LOL

My (computer)
> problems:-

1. Windows thinks that I want to have multiple users on the
> computer. Whenever I turn the PC on, a little box comes up wanting me to log on
> as a user, like what they have at schools. Is there any way to stop this
> happening?

*Right, go into control panel, and click on the PASSWORDS icon, and change it so it makes all users have same prefences, that way there will only ever be one user. If that dont work, just fiddle about with it.


2. Whenever I try to open the CD/DVD-ROM drive by pressing the
> button on the big box thing (you know, the main tower bit of the computer, I've
> forgot its name), the bloody thing waits about a minute before ejecting the
> disc. However, if I eject it using buttons on the computer screen (like in my
> DVD playing software), it works perfectly.

*This is just your computer checking whats on the disk before it ejects it/slowing down the motor. It cant really help it, its just the way CD drives are set up.

3. Are the circumferences of DVDs
> supposed to be slightly jagged, or is my computer nibbeling the disks?

*You mean right at the edge, the silver layer isnt stright? thats ok, its just the way the the layed ink runs on the disc, its ok, they just end up like that, and there no way your dvd drive can 'nibble' the discs.

4. My
> internet connection trys to connect me to the internet every couple of minutes
> without me asking it to. It doesn't matter what program I'm in, or what the
> computer is doing - this always happens. Stop it. Please.

You have a program, like morepheous possible, or some other download program thats got connect automatically selected, find out what program it is, (it'll probably be in the task bar next to the clock) and turn off conect to internet on it.

5. If I click on a
> shortcut to go into any microsoft word 97 document that I have already saved,
> the computer freezes. I have to get documents up by first going into Word and
> clicking on 'Open'.

*Word was probably not installed properly, try and install it again.

6. I borrowed a USB Iomega Zip 100 drive from a mate. I
> have downloaded drivers and stuff, but apparently windows doesn’t detect a
> drive. What are the most common mistakes?

*Duno about that, probably windows being a git, try searching microsoft.com for info on it!


7. I can’t get the ‘Shreks Re-voice
> studio’ thing to work on the Shrek DVD.

*Your pc probably aint up to scratch or somethings not installed thats needed. Maybe you need a better dvd player, either a better card or better software for your pc.

8. When I turn the PC on, one of
> those boxes with a red cross on the left comes up, saying that ‘Rundll32’ has
> performed an illegal operation. I click on details, and it says the
> following…

RUNDLL32 caused an invalid page fault in
module NEWDOTNET3_22.DLL
> at 0177:1000ab5e.
Registers:
EAX=0107168c CS=0177 EIP=1000ab5e
> EFLGS=00010246
EBX=fffffd8c SS=017f ESP=0063f5dc EBP=0063f888
ECX=01070078
> DS=017f ESI=00001614 FS=38f7
EDX=f09d4560 ES=017f EDI=00000000 GS=0000
Bytes
> at CS:EIP:
83 7c 0b 28 01 7e 54 ff 75 0c 50 e8 02 fa ff ff
Stack
> dump:
81634d72 00000000 00000001 01020003 01040102 01020102 01020102 525013e2
> 00100010 20010040 36260050 00000040 20360000 00000050 00013626 00500400

*This is an essential file! i suggest you try the fixsirC program, what this does is, is fixes all files affected by a virus, and the rundll32 is a file that gets damaged by the virus, so try running it, and it should be able to fix the file hopefully, it might even find a virus for your troubles.

9.
> Also when I switch on, the computer asks me what program I want to use to open
> ‘xerces-c_1_3.dll’. No idea what that is.

*do what other people said

10. There’s this girl that I like,
> but… :)

*Tell her your gay, and then when shes gained your trust, tell her how she has changed you and you fancie her like mad lol.

OK, yes, I am a muppet. That doesn’t mean you can’t help me
> though…

*Cheese goes off to start English coursework*

4) you must have a download programe that you set to automatically connect to the net every 5 mins. somehting like DAP or flash get.

10) pop her while she aint looking. chances of it working arnt good but its the cheapest method there is.

Excellent misterhappy, thats won you a noteable vote ;)

I'll just go see if any of that works...although you were too late on the last one.