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Okay, Red nose day, the compitition on it is who can tell te best joke.(Clean ones only).
I'd appreciate it alot if all you comedians could help me out. Oh, and it's not that bad having a joke thread, is it?
I'd appreciate it alot if all you comedians could help me out. Oh, and it's not that bad having a joke thread, is it?
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mines o.k but not that funny but still tyhe only one i can think of now,
there were 2 men standing outside of a pub which they owned and it hadn't been named yet, so they are thinking up a name, they came up with a choice of 3, 1. the queens head, 2. the queens arms and the third being the queens legs, so they thought long and hard and finally came up with the name, then suddenley along comes a police officer asking why they are standing outside of this unamed and unopened pub and the reply by saying "we are waiting for the queens legs to open"
c told ya its not very funny but still, its the thought that counts
there were 2 men standing outside of a pub which they owned and it hadn't been named yet, so they are thinking up a name, they came up with a choice of 3, 1. the queens head, 2. the queens arms and the third being the queens legs, so they thought long and hard and finally came up with the name, then suddenley along comes a police officer asking why they are standing outside of this unamed and unopened pub and the reply by saying "we are waiting for the queens legs to open"
c told ya its not very funny but still, its the thought that counts
What do you call a constipated Turk?
Mustafa Crap.
Mustafa Crap.
not bad Pliskin
Ive got one, a little rude.
Three Nuns die and go up to heaven, two sisters and a mother superior.
One of the sisters goes up to the gate and the man there says "I will I will ask you all one simple question each, if you get it write you pass through". The nuns agree.
he aks "What is the First Part of the Bible called?"
She answers "Well its got to be the Old Testament"
She passes through.
The next siter comes he asks "What is the second part of the Bible called?"
She says "Obviously its the New Testament"
She also passes through.
The gatekeeper says "Well, heres the Mother Superior, What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they met in the nude on the garden of Eden.
The mother superior rubs her head in thought and mumbles "Mmmm..Thats a hard one."
The gatekeeper suprisingly says "Well Done, you are all through!"
Well, its not exactly funny.
Three Nuns die and go up to heaven, two sisters and a mother superior.
One of the sisters goes up to the gate and the man there says "I will I will ask you all one simple question each, if you get it write you pass through". The nuns agree.
he aks "What is the First Part of the Bible called?"
She answers "Well its got to be the Old Testament"
She passes through.
The next siter comes he asks "What is the second part of the Bible called?"
She says "Obviously its the New Testament"
She also passes through.
The gatekeeper says "Well, heres the Mother Superior, What was the first thing Eve said to Adam when they met in the nude on the garden of Eden.
The mother superior rubs her head in thought and mumbles "Mmmm..Thats a hard one."
The gatekeeper suprisingly says "Well Done, you are all through!"
Well, its not exactly funny.
*wipes non-exiestant dust from shoulder*
That was good.
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two men are walking in the forest. A fox suddenly jumps up and kills one of them.
The man ran to the nearset phone and called the hospital and asked what to do.
"right, first make sure he's dead."
The man ran off and a shot was heard/
"yeah, what now?"
two men are walking in the forest. A fox suddenly jumps up and kills one of them.
The man ran to the nearset phone and called the hospital and asked what to do.
"right, first make sure he's dead."
The man ran off and a shot was heard/
"yeah, what now?"
I've got one, small but sweet.
A man walks up to Michael Jackson and his son and says "he's got your nose." Michael Jackson says "hey!Give it back!"
A man walks up to Michael Jackson and his son and says "he's got your nose." Michael Jackson says "hey!Give it back!"
Yeah, some people can, others can't. Twas funny, tohugh.
markcammidge wrote:
> a big hole...i thought he said "no the blimin tents been
> nicked"
depends who tells it i guess
> a big hole...i thought he said "no the blimin tents been
> nicked"
depends who tells it i guess
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