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This thread is where (on the days I will remember), I'll stick a quote from Bill Hicks.
Hicks was a stand-up comic that died in 1994, aged 32, of pancreatice cancer.
If you are interested in his work, check out
www.billhicks.com and go to the links section.
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"You think if Jesus ever comes back, he wants to see another cross? That's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a sniper rifle pendant, 'Hi Jackie, just thinking of John, we loved him baby!'..maybe if y'all started wearing fishes, he might show up"
Hicks was a stand-up comic that died in 1994, aged 32, of pancreatice cancer.
If you are interested in his work, check out
www.billhicks.com and go to the links section.
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"You think if Jesus ever comes back, he wants to see another cross? That's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a sniper rifle pendant, 'Hi Jackie, just thinking of John, we loved him baby!'..maybe if y'all started wearing fishes, he might show up"
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"Saddam Hussein said that all he wants is to see Bush's head cut off and kicked down the road like a soccer ball...and I thought that's odd, that's I want to see as well! Wow, me and Saddam are *that* close, who'd a thunk it?"
"Anyone here work in Marketing? Kill yourselves."
"All politicians are liars and murderers..."
Hooligans!
I almost peed myself laughing at that bit.
"Nobody knows what it's like...to be a dustbin..."
I almost peed myself laughing at that bit.
"Nobody knows what it's like...to be a dustbin..."
"Is Gladiators too violent? No, give these (expletive deleted) chainsaws man. I want to see railway spikes in eyeballs. Let these pituary retards bash each other's brains out with those poles. Here's an idea, give everyone in the audience a pistol, see who comes out of that pit alive..."
Lunchbox and Humpo, you are the coolest of the cool.
Let's start a gang.
We can stand about wearing black and smoking, being superior because we know Hicks.
You guys rule, cheers for joining in.
Let's start a gang.
We can stand about wearing black and smoking, being superior because we know Hicks.
You guys rule, cheers for joining in.
"I'll show ya politics in America, here it is right here:
'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs'
'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking'
'Hey wait a minute theres one guy holding up both puppets..'
'SHUT UP! Go back to bed America.. your government is in control. Here's 'Love Connection' - watch this and get fat and stupid.. by the way, keep drinking beer you (bad word)ing morons....'"
'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs'
'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking'
'Hey wait a minute theres one guy holding up both puppets..'
'SHUT UP! Go back to bed America.. your government is in control. Here's 'Love Connection' - watch this and get fat and stupid.. by the way, keep drinking beer you (bad word)ing morons....'"
"Good evening folks, you'll have to bear with me because I'm tired. I'm tired of doing comedy. Tired of staring out at your blank empty faces waiting for me to fill your lives with comedy you couldn't possibly imagine for yourselves..so bear with me while I strap on this smile and plow through this s*** one more time...."
humpo my man, you get a prize!
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