Viewing Thread:
"Bill Hicks quote of the day"

This thread is where (on the days I will remember), I'll stick a quote from Bill Hicks.
Hicks was a stand-up comic that died in 1994, aged 32, of pancreatice cancer.
If you are interested in his work, check out

www.billhicks.com and go to the links section.

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"You think if Jesus ever comes back, he wants to see another cross? That's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a sniper rifle pendant, 'Hi Jackie, just thinking of John, we loved him baby!'..maybe if y'all started wearing fishes, he might show up"

"And I asked the crowd one night, are there actually women that do not like to give bl** jobs? And this one woman shouted out 'You ever tried it?' and I said yeah...almost broke my back"

Goatboy wrote:
> "Drugs have done good things for us. And if you don't think that's the
> case? Do me a favour, go home tonight and take all your tapes albums and CDs and
> burn 'em.
'Cos you know what? The musicians that made that music that has
> enhanced your lives?
Rrrrreeeeeaaaall fu(nn)ing high on drugs."


Prying open my third eye! Prying open my third eye!

"I've been on my flying-saucer tour. Which means, like UFOs, I have been appearing in small Southern towns in front of handfuls of hillbillies"

push her near chuck

"It's not that I disagree with Bush's foreign or economic policies, no. It's because I believe he's a child of Satan here to destroy the earth...yeah, I'm leaning a little to the left on that one."

pop

Have to ruin the Bill Hicks mood with a quote from my fav comedian type blokey. Mark Thomas.

"The IRA blow up buses and things... for disruption. What?! There's a load of bus managers going ""'Scuse me, our job"" Disruption? You're killing people for disruption? No wonder the Protestants march everywhere, it's the safest funning form of transport! ""I'm off down the shops dear!"" """I'll just get tha band toogether.... OH WE'RE OFF TO TESCOS""" *Makes drum noises* GOING TO BUY SOME MILK AND EGGS...""""

"Drugs have done good things for us. And if you don't think that's the case? Do me a favour, go home tonight and take all your tapes albums and CDs and burn 'em.
'Cos you know what? The musicians that made that music that has enhanced your lives?
Rrrrreeeeeaaaall fu(nn)ing high on drugs."

Bill Hicks on humanity:

"We're a virus with shoes... that's all we are"

"Ok 1st of all, there never was a war. 'How can you say that Bill? I saw it on CNN!'...well a war is when *two* armies are fighting. So I think you can see right there, wasn't exactly a war. After one month of continous carpet bombing and not one reaction, the Elite Republican Guard became simply...The Republican Guard. And after another 2 weeks of bombing with no response, the Elite Republican Guard went to the Republican Guard to the Republicans made this sheet up aboyt there being guards there.
We hope you enjoyed the show, The Persian Gulf Distraction! It was so pretty and it took our minds of domestic affairs! What time is Gladiators on honey?"