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"Newsflash: Bill Gates is dead"

I was watching the news on Sky a few minutes ago and billionaire tycoon Bill Gates has been shot dead! In what was first beleived to be an April fools stunt, the geek collapsed during a spending spree with his family in San Antonio. Witnesses have described the gunman as being of Italian origin with a handlebar moustache, short with a stocky build, he was wearing blue dungarees and a red cap. His escape driver was caught earlier and is being held in police custody. The driver, Yoshi aged 21, claims he was roped into the scheme by the gunman and his taller and much slimmer brother. He thought they were crazy and they kept telling him they had to do it for the princess or the monster would get her.

If anyone knows of a fat paranoid Italian who is currently in or around San Antonio they are urged to contact police chiefs immediately.

I was watching the news on Sky a few minutes ago and billionaire tycoon Bill Gates has been shot dead! In what was first beleived to be an April fools stunt, the geek collapsed during a spending spree with his family in San Antonio. Witnesses have described the gunman as being of Italian origin with a handlebar moustache, short with a stocky build, he was wearing blue dungarees and a red cap. His escape driver was caught earlier and is being held in police custody. The driver, Yoshi aged 21, claims he was roped into the scheme by the gunman and his taller and much slimmer brother. He thought they were crazy and they kept telling him they had to do it for the princess or the monster would get her.

If anyone knows of a fat paranoid Italian who is currently in or around San Antonio they are urged to contact police chiefs immediately.