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"Girls Suck"

Happened tonight what always happens.
We played Southend, 1st band on for a change so we were done by 9pm (excellent, I get to bed before 2am! Woohoo!)

The place was fairly busy, usual band-gig crowds.
Including some fine women.
So we get up there, have it completely for 30 mins.
I'm up there with my boys, playing away as normal and the crowd starts getting into it.
By the 3rd or 4th number,they're usually doing that sway-from-side-to-side dance that you do to a new band and you're not drunk enough to enter the Bermuda Triangle at the front of the stage.

We come off and I sit on the floor, catching my breath and drinking pints of water.
And when we go to the bar, up comes women.
Buying me a drink, doing that "Tattoos! Cool! You were really good up there, totally animal drummer!" and flirting about.
Fine.

SO WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I WAS 15????

I was hormonally raging, like a firework ready to go off.
I was single, still playing drums and would have been like a rat up a drainpipe given the chance.

But Oooooooooooooooooh no, they have to wait until I'm spoken for, absolutely shattered from playing and just wanting to have a bath and get to bed.
I'm in no state to play flirty games when I've finished playing, I have nothing left except panting and needing lots of water. I am sweaty, way too hot and eyes burning.
But they come over and chat. Boy do they come over.
When we played in Islington, my missus was in the loo and this girl said "You seen them play before?"
"Yeah, a few times"
"I like the drummer, he's cute. Big brown eyes"
Needless to say my girlfriend laughed good naturedly and explained that I was taken.

Yeah, thanks ladies for not being there during puberty when I wondered if I would ever score.
I thought I would die without ever having visited the land of naughty-pillows and...gasp...a snog!

So why now I'm happily with someone and shattered from playing?
Why?

Damn Dirty Girls.

But girls smell nicer, and man-***s have hairs on them.

Girls not only suck, but they are mental as well.

Ms Goatboy "I'm fat"

Goatboy "No,you weigh 9st and wear hipster jeans, you're not fat"

Ms Goatboy "I feel unnattractive"

Goatboy "You aren't. You rule my world and other others"

Ms Goatboy "I'm joining a gym, because I'm fat"

Goatboy "Ok fine. You damn dirty heiffer, lose weight and stop eating so many pies"

Ms Goatboy "I'm not fat you ignorant pig, how dare you"
(at this point of the phone call, all I heard was noise like angry chicken)

----

Gah, you can't win.
I'm going to be gay, at least I understand how blokes think.
Damn Dirty Girls.

FantasyMeister wrote:

(Did I just type that out loud?)

I'm not sure?

How would I tell?

So true Meka, soon as I got married they were all over me. Must be something about the ring we wear on our left hand. Now I'm free and single again, when I go out on the pull I always wear it, never fails ;-).

Personally I just think Goatboy was so damn ugly when he was 15 that the girls wouldn't touch him, so all the attention he gets now seems a lot when in fact it's perfectly normal.

(Did I just type that out loud?)

It's a fact, you become more attractive to other women the moment that you get into a relationship.

Women are evil harpies, that all want something that other women have.

If you were to split with your lovely lady, other women would not want you either.

Damn dirty women.

Gah. Damn stupid body scarring ugly worthless tatoos. Other than that, very droll. :-)

Yeah, you used the wrong wording. You should've said 'girls blow'

On second thoughts......

I meant suck as in "Girls are bad. Girls know when you are taken and they play on that fact because it's safe flirting, just a bit of fun" but it wouldn't let me put a title that long in.

So I shortened it, never imagining the direction this would lead to.

You lot need help.

This is why some forums ban the word 'suck'.

What a high level of conversation we get with the late night foggers, eh?

I applaud thee! :)

I don't see why this thread would cause anyone to think I was bein...ah, I get it.

Filthy people.
Filthy, filthy people.