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"Going out tonight?"

I'm going to an after wedding party where I plan to drink my own weight in the finest lager they have to offer. This week I hope to avoid finishing the evening talking to god on the big white telephone (slumped around the toilet bowl)

So what are you doing ?

don't you know any nice young laydeez you can play rugby with ?

Ring one of them and demand to know why you're not invited. If they ask why you're being such a nosey, aggressive ****, tell them you were sent by BEARDS.

If they sound utterly confused, the balence of power has shifted your way.

I have no idea where that 's' came from, honest...

*runs*

sExcellent.

I love you, like I love the cow that died to provide beef for dinner.

Cant just turn up like that, man. Its rude or something. They'll tell me to go away and make me feel all embarrassed that im all alone and they dont want me there.

You love me though, dont you BEARDS?

Damn you, you're not listening. Turn up anyway.

If you want their opinions of where you should be, you'll tell them what they are.

They will hit me with their handbags.

:oD

Suprised im not invited actually, one of my girls' birthda party celebration meal things. At least I know what they think of me. Grr.

;o)

Turn up anyway, wearing your best Pimp clothes and demanding hot lovin or you'll smack their b****-ho-behinds into next week.

But... its raining.

*looks out the window*

Oh no, its stopped.

Hmm, £7 for the joys of watching big sweaty men run about with a ball whilst everyone shouts and stuff.

Dunno.

The girls who usually go to watch the rugby are going to this meal which im not invited to. Not that im not wanted to go, just not asked.

Damn them.

:oD