The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
You may think of consoles as nothing more than harmless machines capable only of playing games (PS2 DVD! DVD!). Well you'd be wrong. VERY WRONG! And you'll discover the absolute horror of what can happen...
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
The Game thought he was a very lucky boy when he managed to get hold of a Sega Dreamcast, with it's wide range of top quality titles, but he didn't know about the horror he was about to experience....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
That's right, The Game was happily playing Daytona USA 2001, racing around at top speed, enjoying the thrills and excitement of the game when tragedy struck! On a particularly tight corner The Game moved his whole body to the left, hoping it would somehow make him turn sharper, the pad in his hands was pulled too far, the lead went tight, and the Dreamcast fell towards the floor.
The Game, being a wise gamer has prepared for such an event, after trashing his Atari Jaguar in the very same way years earlier, The Game had palced a small trampoline beneath the unit which housed his Dreamcast.
The Dreamcast hit the trampoline, bounced into the air, and The Game felt it's full force as it stuck him of the head, knocking him down onto the floor.
The Game was lucky that he had a relatively curvatious console, the sharp edges of a NES could have made these a fatal accident.
the Game will be more careful in future, because he knows what can happen....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Ant also knows of the disasters that can occur....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
After purchasing a shiny new Playstation 2 Ant was over the moon. Not only could he play top class games, but he could also watch DVDs. Ant was amazed by his PS2. It was smaller than he had envisioned, and looked so damn smart.
Ant pressed the button to openthe disc tray again and again, the fluidity of the movement, the incredibly smoothness, it was awesome.
Ant pressed that button again and again, moving closer and closer, until inevitable disaster! Ant had moved his head too close to the tray, and as it came out so elegantly, it colided with Ant's jaw. He was truely gob-smacked!
Ant won't get so close to his console in future now that he knows the tragic events that happen....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Grix Thraves thought he was a very lucky chap when he happened upon an import Gameboy Advance at a reasonable price in a store deep in rural Wales, but he was unaware of the absolute ghastliness that can occur....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Grix Thraves wasn't stupid, he was quite capable of doing two things at once, whistling whilst making tea, singing whilst washing in the showing, moving his lips whilst reading, but his GBA pushed him to the very limits of multitasking!
Grix thought he was capable of walking down the street whilst playing his GBA. At first things went well, other pedestrians side stepped him, and he was aware of were the roads were, so was able to stop and cross safely. He wasn't doing badly at F-Zero either, considering that he couldn't keep the screen completely still whilst in motion. However, things were about to change for poor Grix. As he approached the end of a particularly tough race Grix suddenly felt the full force of his GBA striking him in the face! He fell to the floor in shock, looking at the lamppost that he had walked into, forcing his GBA against him.
Grix won't be so careless next time now that he knows the full horror of what may happen....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
But The Game, Ant and Grix Thraves can consider themselves lucky when compared to Goatboy, another innocent victim, previously unaware of the terror caused....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Goatboy was thrilled to get his hands on his N64, and he enjoyed it a great deal. One day he made a very special purchase: Lylat Wars, complete with Rumble Pak!
Goatboy could barely wait to get home to play this game, he had torn the box in his excitement at opening the game, but it didn't matter, he'd soon get to play!
An hour into his playing experience Goatboys hands felt numb. The rumble pak had been particularly strong, and made Goatboys hands ache. He was perplexed, he seemed to be at the end of the game. "Must be a demo" he thought. He looked at the menu's trying to find the full game.
Nothing. Surely he hadn't completed it so easily.
"What a waste of money" he thought. His palms were sweating heavily as he picked up the pad for another go,hopingto find a secret. It was then that he experienced disaster. His Rumble Pak had been a little faulty, and as it filled with the sweat from Goatoys furious hands it gave out an almighty rumble!
Goatboy threw the pad down, shaking. His hands were blackened, charred, but ne permanent physical damage, however the internal scars run deep here, and Goatboy won't buy Nintendo now that he knows the true fear experienced....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
The Game thought he was a very lucky boy when he managed to get hold of a Sega Dreamcast, with it's wide range of top quality titles, but he didn't know about the horror he was about to experience....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
That's right, The Game was happily playing Daytona USA 2001, racing around at top speed, enjoying the thrills and excitement of the game when tragedy struck! On a particularly tight corner The Game moved his whole body to the left, hoping it would somehow make him turn sharper, the pad in his hands was pulled too far, the lead went tight, and the Dreamcast fell towards the floor.
The Game, being a wise gamer has prepared for such an event, after trashing his Atari Jaguar in the very same way years earlier, The Game had palced a small trampoline beneath the unit which housed his Dreamcast.
The Dreamcast hit the trampoline, bounced into the air, and The Game felt it's full force as it stuck him of the head, knocking him down onto the floor.
The Game was lucky that he had a relatively curvatious console, the sharp edges of a NES could have made these a fatal accident.
the Game will be more careful in future, because he knows what can happen....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Ant also knows of the disasters that can occur....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
After purchasing a shiny new Playstation 2 Ant was over the moon. Not only could he play top class games, but he could also watch DVDs. Ant was amazed by his PS2. It was smaller than he had envisioned, and looked so damn smart.
Ant pressed the button to openthe disc tray again and again, the fluidity of the movement, the incredibly smoothness, it was awesome.
Ant pressed that button again and again, moving closer and closer, until inevitable disaster! Ant had moved his head too close to the tray, and as it came out so elegantly, it colided with Ant's jaw. He was truely gob-smacked!
Ant won't get so close to his console in future now that he knows the tragic events that happen....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Grix Thraves thought he was a very lucky chap when he happened upon an import Gameboy Advance at a reasonable price in a store deep in rural Wales, but he was unaware of the absolute ghastliness that can occur....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Grix Thraves wasn't stupid, he was quite capable of doing two things at once, whistling whilst making tea, singing whilst washing in the showing, moving his lips whilst reading, but his GBA pushed him to the very limits of multitasking!
Grix thought he was capable of walking down the street whilst playing his GBA. At first things went well, other pedestrians side stepped him, and he was aware of were the roads were, so was able to stop and cross safely. He wasn't doing badly at F-Zero either, considering that he couldn't keep the screen completely still whilst in motion. However, things were about to change for poor Grix. As he approached the end of a particularly tough race Grix suddenly felt the full force of his GBA striking him in the face! He fell to the floor in shock, looking at the lamppost that he had walked into, forcing his GBA against him.
Grix won't be so careless next time now that he knows the full horror of what may happen....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
But The Game, Ant and Grix Thraves can consider themselves lucky when compared to Goatboy, another innocent victim, previously unaware of the terror caused....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Goatboy was thrilled to get his hands on his N64, and he enjoyed it a great deal. One day he made a very special purchase: Lylat Wars, complete with Rumble Pak!
Goatboy could barely wait to get home to play this game, he had torn the box in his excitement at opening the game, but it didn't matter, he'd soon get to play!
An hour into his playing experience Goatboys hands felt numb. The rumble pak had been particularly strong, and made Goatboys hands ache. He was perplexed, he seemed to be at the end of the game. "Must be a demo" he thought. He looked at the menu's trying to find the full game.
Nothing. Surely he hadn't completed it so easily.
"What a waste of money" he thought. His palms were sweating heavily as he picked up the pad for another go,hopingto find a secret. It was then that he experienced disaster. His Rumble Pak had been a little faulty, and as it filled with the sweat from Goatoys furious hands it gave out an almighty rumble!
Goatboy threw the pad down, shaking. His hands were blackened, charred, but ne permanent physical damage, however the internal scars run deep here, and Goatboy won't buy Nintendo now that he knows the true fear experienced....
WHEN CONSOLES ATTACK!
Page:
LOL!
Ah.. the funniness is back in the forums... i've dreamed of this day for so long.
Ah.. the funniness is back in the forums... i've dreamed of this day for so long.
Just found this among the stuff on the web site's scripts(leeandherring.com):
STU News this week. Of course, Prince Charles has been complaining about genetically modified food, which is appropriate, as you only have to look at Prince Charles’ face to be convinced of the terrible dangers of selective breeding.
STU News this week. Of course, Prince Charles has been complaining about genetically modified food, which is appropriate, as you only have to look at Prince Charles’ face to be convinced of the terrible dangers of selective breeding.
WTF?
Grix, Duck, and Ant all banned?
Grix, Duck, and Ant all banned?
One that sticks out in my mind is the Braveheart one as well...
"Freeeeeeddoo..."
"No, not freedom. How can you paint your face blue and white when the flag doesn't even exist yet?"
"Freeeeeeddoo..."
"No, not freedom. How can you paint your face blue and white when the flag doesn't even exist yet?"
'When things spill, fall over, or get knocked out of cupboards'
(I think that's the one) Pure genius.
Remember the bible ones?
Jesus: "Consider the daisy"
Disciples: "Ahhh"
Rich (as a desciple): "No, not 'ahh'. What is that supposed to mean? Consider the daisy? Should i just lie in the fields? I need food. My kids need new sandles. What bloody good is lying in a bloody field going to do me. It's wrong."
Jesus: "Consider..."
Rich: "No. It's wrong"
Jesus: "But consider... ahh?"
Disciples: "Ahhh"
Rich: "Shut up. Stop it. No. Not ahh. It's stupid. People can't be like the daisy. It's wrong."
Or something like that.
(I think that's the one) Pure genius.
Remember the bible ones?
Jesus: "Consider the daisy"
Disciples: "Ahhh"
Rich (as a desciple): "No, not 'ahh'. What is that supposed to mean? Consider the daisy? Should i just lie in the fields? I need food. My kids need new sandles. What bloody good is lying in a bloody field going to do me. It's wrong."
Jesus: "Consider..."
Rich: "No. It's wrong"
Jesus: "But consider... ahh?"
Disciples: "Ahhh"
Rich: "Shut up. Stop it. No. Not ahh. It's stupid. People can't be like the daisy. It's wrong."
Or something like that.
When Insects Attack... might just be me, but wasn't there a When Gravity Attacks one too?
Something about a cup of water falling on someone anyway.
Something about a cup of water falling on someone anyway.
Genius!
(Inspired by Lee and Herring, TMWRNJudy? Could it be another viewer? Now that ithink of it, i might just check back on the old show's web site. Last time i was there was a bit before that show on sky (never saw it though))
(Inspired by Lee and Herring, TMWRNJudy? Could it be another viewer? Now that ithink of it, i might just check back on the old show's web site. Last time i was there was a bit before that show on sky (never saw it though))
That was brilliant, Meka. Good enough to get my catchphrase:
{:) "ONCE YOU POP, YOU CAN'T STOP!!" CLASSIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a GAD winner, I would've thought.
{:) "ONCE YOU POP, YOU CAN'T STOP!!" CLASSIQUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's a GAD winner, I would've thought.
Heh, excellent.
Right... I better come up with something in return then... :0)
Right... I better come up with something in return then... :0)
That was class.
Will there be a follow up containing more?
Will there be a follow up containing more?
Page: