The "Freeola Customer Forum" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
1st: Super-weapons.
' Borg-Cube Vs Death Star'.
I would move for no contest here. From my viewing of Trek, Borg Cubes are the most powerful thing they have. They cut through an entire section of the Enterprise, I recall. But then the Death Star can destroy planets, so what's it problem with destroying a hunk of floating metal that looks about as good as Richard Branson's beard? Easy win for Vader's little pet, I think.
1-0 Star Wars
2nd: Most beautiful woman.
' Seven of Nine Vs Princess Leia'.
Mmmm. Close contest. But I'd have to go for the Princess. She's far more revealing. When do you ever see Seven in a gold bikini? I realise these days Carry Fisher's no prize, but back in her day she was the fittest woman in Hollywood for sure. Plus Seven of Nine seems to have metal poking out of her! What's that about? Yes, I know...but it annoys me. I would feel like asking, whats up with the face?, or perhaps something less American.
2-0 Star Wars
3rd: Technology
'Replicators and transporters Vs dodgy hyperdrives
I think Star Trek wins hands down here. Look at the stuff they've got. I wouldn't mind getting me a replicator. Dixons should start selling them. And transporters, well, I wouldn't have to get up so early for school, for one thing. Plus three hour drives to relatives in Swansea wouldn't be so boring and devoid of fun. In contrast to this, Star Wars has the Millenium Falcon's spring collection - A bucket of rusty bolts with a dodgy hyperdrive. Hmm, well, the Trekkies get off the mark.
2-1 Star Wars
4th: Aliens
'Wookiees and Hutts Vs Klingons and Vulcans'
I think Wookiees rule as the ultimate sci-fi aliens. They have the best roar,are covered in hair, rip peoples arms out and Chewie runs around with some sort of laser crossbow. That's a cool weapon, whereas Klingons have some sort of double-ended fork and have a serious forehead problem. Yes, I know it's a ceremonial weapon created by Kahless *cheers Trekkie friend*. Hutts now, I find cool. Jabba for example - He keeps a big rancor as a pet and hires Boba Fett, who is one of the best characters in film. Vulcans on the other hand are overwhelmingly boring.
' No, its not logical'.
Who gives? Lots of good things aren't logical, Mr Pointy Ears man.
3-1 Star Wars
5th: Spaceships.
'Enterprise and Voyager Vs X-Wings and Millenium Falcon'.
This is a really close call. X-Wings are my favourite small attack craft. Deploying S-Foils into attack position looks cool, and it means you get a decent mass shot of X-Wings. The Millenium Falcon may be a bucket of bolts, but it looks cool and the scene where it's hyperdrive engages and they shoot off is a longstanding memorable image of Star Wars. But the Enterprise is a great starship. I prefered the one with Jean-Luc Picard in, because it's phasers looked great and it died really well. Add in a great crew and you're onto a winner. Plus its much much bigger! Size matters ;-)
Voyager is also fun, especially in the last episode, where it gets loads of armour. I wish my car had that.
'Deploy armour', and sheets of molten armour deploy over the car. Ignore the fact that the windscreen is now covered up, and it's the ultimate. So I think I'll have to narrowly call it in favour of Star Trek.
FINAL VERDICT: 3-2 Star Wars.
Yeah, my objective reasoning has proved what everyone already knows, that Star Wars rules all. I hope you are all pleased with the result. Now we just need William Shatner and Harrison Fors to fight in a battle of captains are we're set.
"You have 2, engineer!"
And it's done within 2 hours.
Conclusion: Star Fleet engineers are all compulsive liars.
> You can solve any problem in the Star Trek universe by passing
> something-or-other through the front deflector array, applying phase modulation
> and narrowing the resulting beam. Any fool knows that.
Its always the way isn't it,
Any captain: "We've got 4 hours before the ships hull disintigrates and we can't stop it"
Any head engineer: "I have a theory that if we use the deflector array to..............and then apply phase modulation and narrow the resulting beam the hull will maintain integrity and we won't all die"
Captain: "How long will it take?"
engineer: "About 24 hours"
Captain: "Well we only have 3 hours left" (note the strange time line)
30 seconds to go-
Captain: "are you ready to try it yet?"
engineer: "I'll give it a go"
seemingly ages pass by and disaster is averted at the last possible moment after an unexpected power shortage which is quickly solved by rerouting power from life support.
The enterprise/defiant/deltaflyer lives for another episode.
Good thing it's all a joke then.
> And geek? You spend far more time on here, than me, you nerd type person. Soon
> I'll be off to play squash. That's a SPORT, where you have fun while not
> actually being at your computer. Occasionally you go outside to play it.
Touche mon ami.
Sport is not for me, it scares me. All those men running about in shorts and having physical contact with each other, but hey, whatever floats yer boat.
You are right about spending a lot of time on here though.
Damn.
I'd like to kill people, but I can't bring myself to get close enough.
Or something.
;)
You have fun. And when she chucks you out for moaning about hypocrits and the like, have fun.
;-)
Stop worshipping Bill Hicks, stop
> moaning and actually try and enjoy yourself?
Sci-Fi Virgin Geek-Boy.
Bring it on punk!
I'm off to see my girlfriend and watch movies and have sex now.
Enjoy Deep Space Nine now, y'hear?
>;)
> Stop this geek talk right this minute.
I command you to go out and seek
> females this very evening.
And when you awaken, you will have lost the
> unhealthy pallour, not have clammy hands, realise that sunshine is your friend
> and that 7 of 134 is not a "babe".
Pasty Sociopaths
Stop worshipping Bill Hicks, stop moaning and actually try and enjoy yourself?
I command you to go out and seek females this very evening.
And when you awaken, you will have lost the unhealthy pallour, not have clammy hands, realise that sunshine is your friend and that 7 of 134 is not a "babe".
Pasty Sociopaths