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"Smash u wiv my face"

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Fri 12/10/01 at 01:28
Regular
Posts: 787
By some mysterious and too complicated to explain electrical storm mishap, you are allowed to fight one character from any video-game, any era or platform.

Which one is it and why?
Who would win?
What fighting style?

I would choose Lara Croft.
Unarmed combat.
Because I hate her and the countless hours I spent in futile misery and head-exploding fury trying to find some stupid switch or continually falling because I mistimed a jump for the umpteenth time.
And because she had a crap film based on her.

But most of all, I hate her because of the underwater room with the mirrors in it.
Stupid, frustrating and just shabby.
And no matter how hard you tried, you could never shoot that flatulant butler that mumbled around the manor-house.

I would win. I would sit on her back and pound her face repeatedly into the floor whilst screaming "How the hell did I know to look in a mirror for the way out when I was near drowning you stupid, pneumatic cow????".
Just like I'm going to do to Fred Durst in Smackdown 3:Just Bring it.

Goatboy Smash Lara Croft to little bits and then scatter them in all 4 corners of the world, so I never ever have to hear that stupid "Oh" when she burns, or that scream when she falls to her death.

Die Lara Croft.
Sun 14/10/01 at 21:35
Posts: 0
I think that I would have to take on Yogi Bear.

His stupid stupid game "Yogi Bear's picnic" on the C64 was the first game I ever gave up on!
I prided myself on completing games from a very early age, but for some reason I could never do this one.

I think I'd like to mash his ill-timed jumping legs with a sledge hammer and then beat his head into bolognase with a picnic table!

Or I could just hunt the game down and finish it, it's probably quite easy by todays standards and with my improved skills!

Oh there's a few more too, mainly characters from games that beat me. I'll be back!!!!!
Sun 14/10/01 at 23:26
Regular
"everyone says it"
Posts: 14,738
I would also choose Lara Croft.....

..but simply because I had to test one of her games for weeks and weeks, it killed me. I became so annoyed at Tomb Raider III that I just simply allowed it to pass through testing without any conerns to the bugs it still had in it.

Just as well I don't work for them anymore..

I hate her, if she was real, I would grab her oversized melons and strangle her to death with them.

Thats what!!!!!

Little groaning cow.
Sun 14/10/01 at 23:27
Posts: 0
Which one is it and why?
If i could fight one person/thing from a computer game it would be Mario. Mario that little stupid sort of plumber. I can remember that awful little cartoon show he use to have in the morning when i was a kid. Also that really awful film that was made about him. And another thing how Mario games are there? How many games have had that bloody plumber in them?


Who would win?
Me of course. I would set the gits moustache on fire and watch him running round the room while throwing oversized mushrooms at him. Then i would shove his head down the toilet and flush it repeatedly shouting "How do you like that?"

That's me, i hate the git. Long live Sonic!!!

Darkreaper
Mon 15/10/01 at 17:48
Regular
Posts: 23,216
VenomByte wrote:
> Can I break the rules here, and beat up the 'office assistant' instead?

Could just snap him.

I think there is a website devoted to killing him... didn't we have it as a topic here ages ago?

www.officeclippy.com or something.
Mon 15/10/01 at 18:09
Regular
"qwertyuiop!!"
Posts: 2,517
Hmmm...Hard one!! I know!! Toad!! Two reasons:

1- He is smaller than me!

2- He is weaker than me!! :-D

Just joking!!

Umm....Pikachu!!!

He gave 500 Kids in Japan Siezures!! And he really bugs me!!

He isn't funny, he isn't cute!! And I wish a game would be invented called Torture Pikachu!! :-D

Or....hang on, I don't think that there actually is a game character (Apart from Pikachu) that I don't like!!
Tue 16/10/01 at 02:05
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Today, I would mostly like to fight every single character from the Street Fighter series, because my mind cannot comprehend the stupd combo-pad-mashing wrist-bendy actions needed to pull of some lame roll move.

And I would win, because I would have a flamethrower.
Tue 16/10/01 at 16:07
Regular
Posts: 9,494
Yo'd ave to put up with them all shouting Hadoken! all the time.......
Tue 16/10/01 at 16:22
Regular
Posts: 9,848
Mario, Pikachu, Lara Croft?

Unless you put yourself in a "can't lose" situation by stacking the odds against them then you'd probably get your butt kicked.

Lara is strong and fit by doing plenty of climbing, running, jumping and fighting.
Compared to some of the digital monsters she's faced, we'd be a breeze.

Pikachu?
You could make the rules so that he can't use electricity but then you'd have to catch him and with his Swift and Agility abilities, that's no easy task!

And that's IF he doesn't toast you with his Thunder (and I bet you've only seen the soft animations of this move in the cartoon series on TV. Trust me, you don't want to be up against the real thing...)

Mario?
Fat and heavy? Yes.
Slow and unfit? Not a chance.

Stryke, he would not run out of breath allowing you to hit him. He'd jump over your punch (being a platformer, he excells at jumping!) and land on you head.

Then you know why being a fat git can be a real advantage.
You've seen what's happened to hundreds of happless Koopas and Goomba's - flattened.
And you would be too.

Who would I fight?

I'm not so sure if I could...
Tue 16/10/01 at 16:25
Regular
Posts: 9,494
I'd fight Pikachu. I'd have a flamethrower and 5 uzi and Pikachu would get a stick..no, a boxing glove....., no a blindfold. That should teach him 4 taking over Nintendo. I hate the yellow rat....grrr!
Tue 16/10/01 at 20:36
Posts: 15,443
I'd love to have the opportunity to punch a stuffed up Mario right in the face.

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