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"Weighing up the PS2 (in a different light)"

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Fri 05/10/01 at 09:55
Regular
Posts: 787
Following on with my destructive streak of mutilating games the other day, and the name of the quoted thread, I thought I'd scare you all about my mentality yet again.

Lets look at this historically.

Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%

Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%

Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%

Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%

Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%

Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:

Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%

N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%

Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%

Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%

X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%

I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...

:D

Slave.
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:48
Regular
"Back from the dead!"
Posts: 4,615
Pile the lot into a skip, and drop it on someone.

And then an X-Box.

Getting silly? However do you mean?

:D
Sat 06/10/01 at 21:38
Posts: 0
Why don't you stick all those Japanese yokozunas in as well and then drop it on Bill Gates

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