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"Weighing up the PS2 (in a different light)"

Following on with my destructive streak of mutilating games the other day, and the name of the quoted thread, I thought I'd scare you all about my mentality yet again.

Lets look at this historically.

Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%

Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%

Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%

Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%

Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%

Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:

Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%

N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%

Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%

Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%

X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%

I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...

:D

Slave.

You are evil! Ever though of a career in SWAT?

:D

An N64 would be lethel with one of them Doctor 64's attached under it. It would take out the bus never mind the granny at the bus stop

Right! This is it guys, those busstop grannies have pushed us over the line with thier "In my day all we had was skipping ropes" quips. It's time to fight back.

Here is the plan.

0745 hours. Take position. Strafex in the cornershop, Lukejudd in a fake manhole roadwords a few feet from the busstop, Dav1d at the heleport, and me at the other end of the road in a maroon Ford Granada.

0815 hours: Granny will be at the bus stop, on her way to collect her pension and buy 18 tins of cat food. Strafex will make the first move, hoining the queue for the bus with a GB. Strafex, if you can engage into conversation with her, she will say her "In my day..." line, and then you hand her Tetris.

0825 hours: Granny will be hooked and dazed. Strafex, leave the scene immediately, as at this time I will drive past in the Granada, and lob a DC (controllers attatched). she will be unconsious and tied to te busstop.

0827 hours: The bus will be arriving. Lukejudd, you will be in position in the manhole. As the bus passes, slide a MD2/Mega CD2 under the wheel. The bus will lose control, and slam into the busstop.

0829 hours: David will be overhead in the chinnook, to droop the X-Box on the bus, flattening the entire bus and contents monty python foot style.

0840 hours: meet at the Red Lion for debriefing, and a celebratory cheese and ham toastie and a pint.

Any problems, make the sound of a dying giraffe, and we will all fall back. Meet at the Red Lion at 7pm.

Got it?

All well and good SIR! Permission to speak freely?.... May i suggest that dropping ax X-box from such a height could have serious earthquake implications. Perhaps the gamecube would suffice?

I feel that the full on assault will be more effective, and though damage to surrounding buildings will be inevitable, due to the size of the X-Box the targeting will be a lot easier...

And it will have the weight to literally flatten the bus, making sure the pensioners are eliminated.

Good point, get rid of the whole stinking lot of them - then turn the pension homes into LAN arenas.....

After finishing of the "Grannies", lets move onto Afganistan? 2 X-Boxes should be enough?

Could the reason be why the US have waited to do anything for ages is due to the fact that the Mighty ("and I stress the term mighty here as in size not ability") X-Box isn't released for another month?

In additon to you "Console List" How about...

The Atari Jaguar
Rounded and docile in its un-used state, but after adding the CD Drive, two of the biggest pads you've ever seen and a game cart, this thing could stop anything in its path!! (At last... a use for the JAG!!)

or...

The Atari 2600... wooden edition!!
Sharp, pointy, heavy and made from wood and aluminium!! At high velocity this could do some serious damage!! Handle with EXTREME CARE!!

I'm off to arm myself with... An Atari Lynx!! Large, heavy and with the addition of a couple of wheels... a handy looking skateboard!!

TTFN

we should send an X-box over to Bill Gates house - special delivery via Chinook. Mind you, he has a huge house so we may need 3 X-box's to cover the distance.

he certainly does have a massive house, though 2 X-Boxes should cover it...

:D