The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Following on with my destructive streak of mutilating games the other day, and the name of the quoted thread, I thought I'd scare you all about my mentality yet again.
Lets look at this historically.
Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%
Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%
Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%
Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%
Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%
Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:
Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%
N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%
Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%
Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%
X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%
I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...
:D
Slave.
Lets look at this historically.
Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%
Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%
Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%
Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%
Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%
Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:
Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%
N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%
Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%
Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%
X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%
I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...
:D
Slave.
Page:
Following on with my destructive streak of mutilating games the other day, and the name of the quoted thread, I thought I'd scare you all about my mentality yet again.
Lets look at this historically.
Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%
Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%
Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%
Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%
Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%
Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:
Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%
N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%
Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%
Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%
X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%
I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...
:D
Slave.
Lets look at this historically.
Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%
Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%
Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%
Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%
Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%
Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:
Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%
N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%
Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%
Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%
X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%
I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...
:D
Slave.
Lol. A new meaning to console wars.
I knew that the GC handle would make itself useful sooner or later...
I knew that the GC handle would make itself useful sooner or later...
LOL..... Very Good Slave!
*Hits Slaveunit round the head with his Playstation*
Take That! :-D
*Hits Slaveunit round the head with his Playstation*
Take That! :-D
Ooyah!
*Picks up axehead shaped Atari Lynx and sticks it in Dav1ds ribs...*
:D
Console wars are fun!
*Picks up axehead shaped Atari Lynx and sticks it in Dav1ds ribs...*
:D
Console wars are fun!
Not a console exacly but I think you should include the original gameboy - it was small but built like a flippin brick when it had the batteries in it.... could be thrown making it it excellent for long distant take outs!
You forgot one characteristic that gave it a slight advantage over the Playstation and PS2.
4 ports.
You now had 4 chunky pads swinging round when using it as a weapon.
And someones throat is bound to get caught between 4 tangled leads....
4 ports.
You now had 4 chunky pads swinging round when using it as a weapon.
And someones throat is bound to get caught between 4 tangled leads....
An N64 characteristic that is...
Yeah, the dc could do it too. If you attatch all the controllers, then lob it at a bloke leaning on a lamppost or a granny at a busstop, the impact of the machine would take them out, and then the wires would conveniently tie up the foe in a comedy cartoon manner.
:D
:D
Lukejudd wrote:
> Not a console exacly but I think you should include the original gameboy - it
> was small but built like a flippin brick when it had the batteries in it....
> could be thrown making it it excellent for long distant take outs!
Another advantage of the GB is if you were to catapult one over enemy lines with the tetris music running, the tunes would hypnotise the victims into a trance, leaving them open for a second assault of Gamegears with TV adaptors showing Neighbors.
> Not a console exacly but I think you should include the original gameboy - it
> was small but built like a flippin brick when it had the batteries in it....
> could be thrown making it it excellent for long distant take outs!
Another advantage of the GB is if you were to catapult one over enemy lines with the tetris music running, the tunes would hypnotise the victims into a trance, leaving them open for a second assault of Gamegears with TV adaptors showing Neighbors.
Or send over the Gameboys with Tetris, get them addicted and while their absorbed, charge at them swinging the Playstations and N64's!
Page: