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"Weighing up the PS2 (in a different light)"

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Fri 05/10/01 at 09:55
Regular
Posts: 787
Following on with my destructive streak of mutilating games the other day, and the name of the quoted thread, I thought I'd scare you all about my mentality yet again.

Lets look at this historically.

Spectrum 48. Harmless as it looks with deceptive rubber keys, it has a metal case. Could easily fracture a skull if hit with one in the right place.
Damage rating: 80%

Master System. A chunky, yet lightweight machine, too light to do any real damage. MS2 was worse.
Damage Rating: 40%

Nes. A very chunky machine. Sturdy enough to withstand the onslaught of small children, would really hurt if you stubbed your toe on it.
Damage rating: 85%

Megadrive. The sleek slimline design of the MD makes it ideal for throwing, frisbee style. Catch one in the nose and it's hospital for you... Again MD2 is weal in comparison, though the addition of a Mega CD2 would make a good speed hump..
Damage rating: 72%

Super Nintendo. Nintendo keeping their consoles weighty makes them favourite again, and a full on lob to someones head would score big points.
Damage rating: 79%

Sony Playstation. Sharp corners are key to it's carnage potential. The opening upwards tray is a bonus for closing on peoples hands. PS1 just makes the affair portable, though lacks the corners.
Damage rating: 83:

Dreamcast. A reasonably hefty peice of kit, gaining points in throws, toestubs and facelobs. A good all-rounder.
Damage Rating: 75%

N64. Larger than the average machine, yet too badly shaped to really throw, and rounded "kiddie safe" corners make this a last resort.
Damage rating: 62%

Sony PS2. The next generation big boy has a great weight to it, and combined with the sharp edges it's a force. Attatch your DVD throughport and a pad, and it will hold the machines weight, giving you a deadly "morning star" type weapon.
Damage rating: 97%

Nintendo Gamecube: Built like a brick, with an easy to use handle. Excellent for attatching notes and bunging through windows, or breaking into cars. Also handy in one on one combat. Superb!
Damage rating: 99%

X-Box. This is where it's size really comes into play. From a great height, it would have a terminal velocity akin to a piano. Fatal!
Damage rating: 100%

I bet I never get invited to any gaming sessions again...

:D

Slave.
Sat 06/10/01 at 21:38
Posts: 0
Why don't you stick all those Japanese yokozunas in as well and then drop it on Bill Gates
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:48
Regular
"Back from the dead!"
Posts: 4,615
Pile the lot into a skip, and drop it on someone.

And then an X-Box.

Getting silly? However do you mean?

:D
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:47
Regular
"Not your monkey"
Posts: 2,104
hell, why not add the entire house electricity network - actually, add on the flippin house too...
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:31
Regular
Posts: 9,848
So the rest of the consoles can be attatched through a wide screen TV RF lead multitap thing...

add a hi fi, dolby surround, a sky box, connect a PC modem to the Xbox modem... this is getting a little bit silly now :-D
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:29
Regular
"Back from the dead!"
Posts: 4,615
Add on a widescreen telly and a megadrive, cos they had those ariel leads with the switch on...
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:14
Regular
Posts: 9,848
Ok. The ultimate weapon.

The Xbox is the base in the middle.

The phone cables from it's modem connects to the PS2, DC, and the Gamecube.

The PS2 has a link cable connecting it to the PSOne, multitap, four pads, hardrive... etc...

The Gamecube is connected to a GBA.
The GBA is linked to GBC, GBP and classic GB through link cables.
The Gameboy pocket will have a double sided cartrige is linked to a Super Gameboy which is connected to a Snes.

The Gameboy Colour will also have a double cartrige connecting it to the N64's Gameboy transfer pak.

There's no way to connect a Nes though...


That'll be a big bulky weapon.

Any volunteers to lift it?
Fri 05/10/01 at 15:04
Regular
"Not your monkey"
Posts: 2,104
Slaveunit wrote:
> Lukejudd wrote:
> I was thinking of three because of the size of his ego
> plus the size of his
> head

That's very true. We might have to make it
> 4...

Lets make it 4 Game cubes - just to dent his pride even more than when the game cube completely out sells his machine
Fri 05/10/01 at 14:41
Posts: 0
What about the add ons?

Think about a Japanese PS2 with that huge chunk of a HDD on the side! Next up, add some multitaps, and then eight controllers. Not that's gotta hurt!
Fri 05/10/01 at 14:06
Regular
"Back from the dead!"
Posts: 4,615
Lukejudd wrote:
> I was thinking of three because of the size of his ego plus the size of his
> head

That's very true. We might have to make it 4...
Fri 05/10/01 at 13:17
Regular
"Too Orangy For Crow"
Posts: 15,844
That's funny Slaveunit! OW! I just cut myself on the Playstation's sharp corner! :D

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