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"Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back"

I have just finished watching one the finest films of the year.
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back is the final film to feature the dastardly duo from Kevin Smith’s previous movies.
And what an absolutely perfect finale for his viewaskewniverse world.
The plot?
Jay & Silent Bob (I’ll refer to them as J&SB from now on to save my fingers) discover that the comic based on them is being made into a movie. And people are talking about them on movie-forums the world over, slating them and calling them all sorts of names.
So they set out to Hollywood to stop the movie, thereby saving their “good name”.
That’s it.
But as with any Kevin Smith movie, it’s the jokes and writing as opposed to the plot. And this is a gift for Smith fans. Non-fans will enjoy the knockabout comedy, but if you’re a hardcore Smith-watcher, then you’ll savour every moment.
There are references to all the movies that are so sly and amusing that you’ll want to watch this over straight away (like I’ve just done).

It’s really hard to write about it without spoiling the surprises, so I’ll just skirt around with no important details mentioned, it’s best you see this without knowing everything.
Highlights?

J&SB stealing an ape called Suzanne that becomes their accomplice in the adventures.
J&SB meeting the Scooby-Doo gang in the Mystery Machine, but it turns into a drug-crazed semi-naked love-fest.
Brody making a re-appearance with his “Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?” question.
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon making “Good Will Hunting 2:Hunting Season”.
Monkey jokes galore, including one about the monkey being gay “Well, how do you know he doesn’t smoke monkey-pole?”
And that’s all I can say without ruining the many, many other best bits.
Oh, and if you’re a sci-fi fan, you’ll be in heaven to hear Mark Hamill say “Don’t fu(n) with a Jedi Master kid”.

Smith has been criticised for making “fart jokes movies”, and he goes for it in this one.
I promise you this’ll be an 18cert, purely for the language used. Constant profanity, but in the funniest ways you can imagine.
And if you hate Dawson’s Creek? You’ll love this movie.
And if you ever saw James Biggs from American Pie in other movies and went “That’s the guy that fu(nn)ed a pie!”, you’ll love this movie.

So many movie references, I picked out The Fugitive, ET, Charlie’s Angels, Star Wars, Batman, Planet of The Apes and many, many others.
Smith has gone back to the purile humour of Mallrats, and it’s absolutely perfect.
Smutty joke after smutty joke, innuendos from wall to wall and the best usage of the word “Bung” you will ever hear.
Jason Mewes (as Jay) owns this movie, his schtick is given free reign and he is a total star.
There are women in leather doing stunts, more monkey jokes that you can ever wish for and the chance to see stars playing themselves and ripping the living daylights out of their image.
And the most incisive comments about the internet ever made:
“It’s where people go to trash movies and swap pornography”.
And to see J&SB get their revenge on everyone that trashed them in chat-rooms had me in absolute stitches.

If you like Kevin Smith movies, go see this.
If you like monkeys in films, go see this.
If you ever wondered if Banky was gay from Chasing Amy, go see this.
If you hate Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, go see this. To watch them slate each others movies is pure heaven:
Affleck “Matt, I’ve told you, do the crap then the arthouse movies, you gotta do it like that”
Damon “So which one was Armageddon?”
Affleck “Fun off”
Jay “Affleck! You were the bomb in Phantoms! Nooge!”

I have just spent the previous 3hrs laughing myself sick, and I’m off to do it again right now.
Go see this movie, you will not regret it.

Hey Votty, I did say a selection, but lets have some more, shall we?

'MR Brace disowned his gay son, very compassionate Mr Brace!'

*Loki shoots Mooby board* 'Gum?'

'I don't know what to say, but I'd...' - 'Like to offer us sex as a reward?'

'She's a s**t. BUNG!'

'Whose house? RON'S HOUSE! I said, whose house? RON'S HOUSE! I AM! I AM! Say what?'

'She cheated on him while she was away. Really? Yes, 3 times. Nice!'

'The little stoner's got a point...'

Can't wait to see J&SB. They were halarious in Dogma and their cameo in Scream 3 made me rewind the DVD 20 times to watch it 20 times.

You missed out the two best ones:

"AND YOU TRAVELLED TO THAILAND TO HAVE SEX WITH AN 11 YEAR OLD BOY"

and

"No married man kisses his wife like that...Are you stoned?"


Oh and I almost forgot:

"Hey any idiot can light a match. I had to rain down sulphur. Mass genocide is one of the most exhausting things on the planet...except from soccer."

:)

'Yes, Rufus it is. Its normally Long Rufus, but its a cold day, you understand?'

'So, that would make Bethany part black?'

'WHAT GEAR ARE YOU IN? GEAR?'

'Hey, back in the days of JC, we used to walk everywhere!'


Just a selection of my favoruite Dogma quotes.

It is out 30 November.

And it is a brilliant film, I was fortunate enough to be able to see it early.

"What if it's a super-monkey and sheet? Die Super Monkey"

Snooze to the motherfunning nooze!

Dogma rules, but so do all of Smith's films.

I thought it was released on November 30th?

Oh it does.

BUNG!

Jay and Silent Bob rule, as proved by Smith's finest film, Dogma. This will have to go some way to top that.

Snoogins.

I saw it last Sunday and thought the same as you goatboy. Its a very good film and everybody should go and see it.