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I have just finished watching one the finest films of the year.
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back is the final film to feature the dastardly duo from Kevin Smith’s previous movies.
And what an absolutely perfect finale for his viewaskewniverse world.
The plot?
Jay & Silent Bob (I’ll refer to them as J&SB from now on to save my fingers) discover that the comic based on them is being made into a movie. And people are talking about them on movie-forums the world over, slating them and calling them all sorts of names.
So they set out to Hollywood to stop the movie, thereby saving their “good name”.
That’s it.
But as with any Kevin Smith movie, it’s the jokes and writing as opposed to the plot. And this is a gift for Smith fans. Non-fans will enjoy the knockabout comedy, but if you’re a hardcore Smith-watcher, then you’ll savour every moment.
There are references to all the movies that are so sly and amusing that you’ll want to watch this over straight away (like I’ve just done).
It’s really hard to write about it without spoiling the surprises, so I’ll just skirt around with no important details mentioned, it’s best you see this without knowing everything.
Highlights?
J&SB stealing an ape called Suzanne that becomes their accomplice in the adventures.
J&SB meeting the Scooby-Doo gang in the Mystery Machine, but it turns into a drug-crazed semi-naked love-fest.
Brody making a re-appearance with his “Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?” question.
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon making “Good Will Hunting 2:Hunting Season”.
Monkey jokes galore, including one about the monkey being gay “Well, how do you know he doesn’t smoke monkey-pole?”
And that’s all I can say without ruining the many, many other best bits.
Oh, and if you’re a sci-fi fan, you’ll be in heaven to hear Mark Hamill say “Don’t fu(n) with a Jedi Master kid”.
Smith has been criticised for making “fart jokes movies”, and he goes for it in this one.
I promise you this’ll be an 18cert, purely for the language used. Constant profanity, but in the funniest ways you can imagine.
And if you hate Dawson’s Creek? You’ll love this movie.
And if you ever saw James Biggs from American Pie in other movies and went “That’s the guy that fu(nn)ed a pie!”, you’ll love this movie.
So many movie references, I picked out The Fugitive, ET, Charlie’s Angels, Star Wars, Batman, Planet of The Apes and many, many others.
Smith has gone back to the purile humour of Mallrats, and it’s absolutely perfect.
Smutty joke after smutty joke, innuendos from wall to wall and the best usage of the word “Bung” you will ever hear.
Jason Mewes (as Jay) owns this movie, his schtick is given free reign and he is a total star.
There are women in leather doing stunts, more monkey jokes that you can ever wish for and the chance to see stars playing themselves and ripping the living daylights out of their image.
And the most incisive comments about the internet ever made:
“It’s where people go to trash movies and swap pornography”.
And to see J&SB get their revenge on everyone that trashed them in chat-rooms had me in absolute stitches.
If you like Kevin Smith movies, go see this.
If you like monkeys in films, go see this.
If you ever wondered if Banky was gay from Chasing Amy, go see this.
If you hate Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, go see this. To watch them slate each others movies is pure heaven:
Affleck “Matt, I’ve told you, do the crap then the arthouse movies, you gotta do it like that”
Damon “So which one was Armageddon?”
Affleck “Fun off”
Jay “Affleck! You were the bomb in Phantoms! Nooge!”
I have just spent the previous 3hrs laughing myself sick, and I’m off to do it again right now.
Go see this movie, you will not regret it.
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back is the final film to feature the dastardly duo from Kevin Smith’s previous movies.
And what an absolutely perfect finale for his viewaskewniverse world.
The plot?
Jay & Silent Bob (I’ll refer to them as J&SB from now on to save my fingers) discover that the comic based on them is being made into a movie. And people are talking about them on movie-forums the world over, slating them and calling them all sorts of names.
So they set out to Hollywood to stop the movie, thereby saving their “good name”.
That’s it.
But as with any Kevin Smith movie, it’s the jokes and writing as opposed to the plot. And this is a gift for Smith fans. Non-fans will enjoy the knockabout comedy, but if you’re a hardcore Smith-watcher, then you’ll savour every moment.
There are references to all the movies that are so sly and amusing that you’ll want to watch this over straight away (like I’ve just done).
It’s really hard to write about it without spoiling the surprises, so I’ll just skirt around with no important details mentioned, it’s best you see this without knowing everything.
Highlights?
J&SB stealing an ape called Suzanne that becomes their accomplice in the adventures.
J&SB meeting the Scooby-Doo gang in the Mystery Machine, but it turns into a drug-crazed semi-naked love-fest.
Brody making a re-appearance with his “Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?” question.
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon making “Good Will Hunting 2:Hunting Season”.
Monkey jokes galore, including one about the monkey being gay “Well, how do you know he doesn’t smoke monkey-pole?”
And that’s all I can say without ruining the many, many other best bits.
Oh, and if you’re a sci-fi fan, you’ll be in heaven to hear Mark Hamill say “Don’t fu(n) with a Jedi Master kid”.
Smith has been criticised for making “fart jokes movies”, and he goes for it in this one.
I promise you this’ll be an 18cert, purely for the language used. Constant profanity, but in the funniest ways you can imagine.
And if you hate Dawson’s Creek? You’ll love this movie.
And if you ever saw James Biggs from American Pie in other movies and went “That’s the guy that fu(nn)ed a pie!”, you’ll love this movie.
So many movie references, I picked out The Fugitive, ET, Charlie’s Angels, Star Wars, Batman, Planet of The Apes and many, many others.
Smith has gone back to the purile humour of Mallrats, and it’s absolutely perfect.
Smutty joke after smutty joke, innuendos from wall to wall and the best usage of the word “Bung” you will ever hear.
Jason Mewes (as Jay) owns this movie, his schtick is given free reign and he is a total star.
There are women in leather doing stunts, more monkey jokes that you can ever wish for and the chance to see stars playing themselves and ripping the living daylights out of their image.
And the most incisive comments about the internet ever made:
“It’s where people go to trash movies and swap pornography”.
And to see J&SB get their revenge on everyone that trashed them in chat-rooms had me in absolute stitches.
If you like Kevin Smith movies, go see this.
If you like monkeys in films, go see this.
If you ever wondered if Banky was gay from Chasing Amy, go see this.
If you hate Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, go see this. To watch them slate each others movies is pure heaven:
Affleck “Matt, I’ve told you, do the crap then the arthouse movies, you gotta do it like that”
Damon “So which one was Armageddon?”
Affleck “Fun off”
Jay “Affleck! You were the bomb in Phantoms! Nooge!”
I have just spent the previous 3hrs laughing myself sick, and I’m off to do it again right now.
Go see this movie, you will not regret it.
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I've seen it, I'm sure I said...The only Kevin Smith film I haven't seen is Chasing Amy, which I'll hopefully be seeing tonight.
Stryke, if you haven't seen Mall Rats I am quite happy to post it to you as it is fairly hard to come by these days...
Believe me, Dogma is good. Mall Rats is better.
Imagine Dogma minus the biblical angle plus more comedy from Jay and Silent Bob and set in a Mall. Add Jason Lee, Stan Lee (of Marvel comics fame) and some snappy, witty dialogue and you have Mall Rats.
If the last paragraph was an equation it would be:
Dogma*100 = Mall Rats
Believe me, Dogma is good. Mall Rats is better.
Imagine Dogma minus the biblical angle plus more comedy from Jay and Silent Bob and set in a Mall. Add Jason Lee, Stan Lee (of Marvel comics fame) and some snappy, witty dialogue and you have Mall Rats.
If the last paragraph was an equation it would be:
Dogma*100 = Mall Rats
*shouts after Votty*
YOU'RE SO LUCKY! Gum?
:-)
YOU'RE SO LUCKY! Gum?
:-)
*Vottanator looks nervous*
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*He runs for the door as fast as he can but just before he leaves, he shouts:
"But you did not say 'God bless you' when I sneezed"
:)
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
*He runs for the door as fast as he can but just before he leaves, he shouts:
"But you did not say 'God bless you' when I sneezed"
:)
Muaha. I still got loads.
*Jay looks around at hotel* 'Man, I think this **** just kicked in!'
'Jesus Christ, did you have to use the whole can! Do you go around drenching every man who comes into your room with flame retardent chemicals? No wonder you're single.'
'What you gonna do, hit me with that fish?'
'Lets kill people. Oh, not you!'
'Your not talking about going home, you're talking about funning war on GOD! Fun that!'
*I know its not funny, I just like that line ;-)*
*Jay looks around at hotel* 'Man, I think this **** just kicked in!'
'Jesus Christ, did you have to use the whole can! Do you go around drenching every man who comes into your room with flame retardent chemicals? No wonder you're single.'
'What you gonna do, hit me with that fish?'
'Lets kill people. Oh, not you!'
'Your not talking about going home, you're talking about funning war on GOD! Fun that!'
*I know its not funny, I just like that line ;-)*
Errrrrr......
Emmmmmmm.......
Aha...no, it's already been said....
errrr.....
Oh I know.....
"Uh, THE VOICE"
"Uh, THE APOSTLE"
As you can see, I'm running extremely thin on FUNNY lines.
Emmmmmmm.......
Aha...no, it's already been said....
errrr.....
Oh I know.....
"Uh, THE VOICE"
"Uh, THE APOSTLE"
As you can see, I'm running extremely thin on FUNNY lines.
But I expect you'd beat me on Heat quotes Votty. Heres some more...
*Silent Bob throws angels out of train* No Ticket!
'You're a Jew, you don't know any better.'
'Can't use that, we already used it when we killed Christ.'
'That sounds a little militant, thinking of joining the other side?'
'I'm as anatomically impared as a Ken doll'
*Silent Bob throws angels out of train* No Ticket!
'You're a Jew, you don't know any better.'
'Can't use that, we already used it when we killed Christ.'
'That sounds a little militant, thinking of joining the other side?'
'I'm as anatomically impared as a Ken doll'
I've only seen Dogma once so I'm bound to lose this battle. :)
"Men like us don't just fall out the sky you know"
*THUD*
"Beautiful, naked women don't just fall out the sky you know"
And I'm running very thin on lines.
:)
"Men like us don't just fall out the sky you know"
*THUD*
"Beautiful, naked women don't just fall out the sky you know"
And I'm running very thin on lines.
:)
'You forgot Mooby Magazine. Now is there a point to this?'
' I can't BELIEVE you forgot the magazine!'
'No, No Bartleby. I might have to take you down.'
'Looks like we're in charge of the gang now...'
'You ever see a fat apostle? nuh-uh.'
'D'you think someone threw him out of a plane, like in Con Air? D'you ever see that flick?'
'OH, DID THAT SUCK!'
'Ah! Air Con! Kill it!'
' I can't BELIEVE you forgot the magazine!'
'No, No Bartleby. I might have to take you down.'
'Looks like we're in charge of the gang now...'
'You ever see a fat apostle? nuh-uh.'
'D'you think someone threw him out of a plane, like in Con Air? D'you ever see that flick?'
'OH, DID THAT SUCK!'
'Ah! Air Con! Kill it!'
"I don't believe in voodoo......
....but I do believe in this"
"I do believe in this?"
"It's more compact than the flaming sword but it's not half as intimidating. I mean how am I supposed to strike fear into the heart of the wicked with this?"
....but I do believe in this"
"I do believe in this?"
"It's more compact than the flaming sword but it's not half as intimidating. I mean how am I supposed to strike fear into the heart of the wicked with this?"
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