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As most of you will know, the USA is about to embark on a war against Afganistahn in a bid take in Osama bin Laden.
Well, through the medium of drinking, my friends and I have come up with a possible, more likely to succeed, alternative solution.
As a smaller percentage of you will know, martial artist and actor, Steven Segal is renowned for saying in interviews that almost 100% of todays action heroes; Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, etc. are a load of p*****s. He claims that most of them wouldn't win a fight against a force of one primary school girl, let alone a "super villain" and, well, he may be right?
Well, an even smaller percentage of you may also be aware that Steven Segal doesn't hold himself in this bracket at all. No, infact, Steven Segal is on record as having said that the first thing he does when he is offered the lead role in a movie is sit down and read the script. Well thats not much of a surprise but what is a surprise is that Steven Segal, notable for such films as "Under Siege 1&2" and "Marked for Death" claims that as he is perusing the script he is careful to make sure that he is not being made to do "anything he couldn't do in real life"
So, seeing as Steven seems so very confident about battling terrorist organisation single handedly, or taking down a city wide Jamaican run crime and drug syndicate single handedly without recieving a single blow to his person, I think you'll all agree that Segal is ideal for the job of retrieving bin Laden! I propose we send him in a one man plane with parachute and drop hmi in the heart of Afganistahn, then sit back and wait for the results.
As a possible side line to this and a way for the US to raise some funds for the rebuilding of Manhattan, I suggest we drop Steve Irwin (that crazy crocadile man) in with Segal and a video camera to create the most stunning "reality TV" since Big Brother 2!!!
Thoughts?
Well, through the medium of drinking, my friends and I have come up with a possible, more likely to succeed, alternative solution.
As a smaller percentage of you will know, martial artist and actor, Steven Segal is renowned for saying in interviews that almost 100% of todays action heroes; Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, etc. are a load of p*****s. He claims that most of them wouldn't win a fight against a force of one primary school girl, let alone a "super villain" and, well, he may be right?
Well, an even smaller percentage of you may also be aware that Steven Segal doesn't hold himself in this bracket at all. No, infact, Steven Segal is on record as having said that the first thing he does when he is offered the lead role in a movie is sit down and read the script. Well thats not much of a surprise but what is a surprise is that Steven Segal, notable for such films as "Under Siege 1&2" and "Marked for Death" claims that as he is perusing the script he is careful to make sure that he is not being made to do "anything he couldn't do in real life"
So, seeing as Steven seems so very confident about battling terrorist organisation single handedly, or taking down a city wide Jamaican run crime and drug syndicate single handedly without recieving a single blow to his person, I think you'll all agree that Segal is ideal for the job of retrieving bin Laden! I propose we send him in a one man plane with parachute and drop hmi in the heart of Afganistahn, then sit back and wait for the results.
As a possible side line to this and a way for the US to raise some funds for the rebuilding of Manhattan, I suggest we drop Steve Irwin (that crazy crocadile man) in with Segal and a video camera to create the most stunning "reality TV" since Big Brother 2!!!
Thoughts?
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Steve Irwin would be great...
This Bin Laden blokes really dangerous, so I'm gonna go and poke him with a stick, alright mates? Crikey me arm!
This Bin Laden blokes really dangerous, so I'm gonna go and poke him with a stick, alright mates? Crikey me arm!
The original post that is. Not mine. For FAD.
Please let this post win FAD.
You missed Stevie's greatest role in 'Exit Wounds', here he does something that he could very well do in real life, he plays an overweight, slightly balding cop with a ridiculous hairstyle and the acting ability of marmite. He plays this role so well that we are led to believe that he may in fact be that man. Again though Steve's body remains impervious to bullets, perhaps it's his fat gut that's better than Kevlar body armour. And again Steven romps through legions of heavily armed bad guys. What a guy.
Personally I would propose a commando team be sent in with a hollywood camera crew. The team would comprise of Stevo, Steve Irwin(he knows no fear and would doubtlessly confound terrorists with his bizarre antics and penchant for risking life and limb). Add to this a true veteran of guerilla warfare, Sly Stallone, and put them all under the command of the ageing, but much respected, Wings Hauser. Wings would of course be the key to the whole mission as he would unveil his newfound legal skills (The Insider) to present Osama bin Laden with a fiendishly complicated extradition treaty. On top of this he would have the woodworking knowhow (The Carpenter) to build the gang out of the tightest of situations.
After Wings had singlehandly taken down the terrorists he would return to America and be elected President where his reign would be long and munificent. And Log in the Creek would finally become a delightful reality.
You missed Stevie's greatest role in 'Exit Wounds', here he does something that he could very well do in real life, he plays an overweight, slightly balding cop with a ridiculous hairstyle and the acting ability of marmite. He plays this role so well that we are led to believe that he may in fact be that man. Again though Steve's body remains impervious to bullets, perhaps it's his fat gut that's better than Kevlar body armour. And again Steven romps through legions of heavily armed bad guys. What a guy.
Personally I would propose a commando team be sent in with a hollywood camera crew. The team would comprise of Stevo, Steve Irwin(he knows no fear and would doubtlessly confound terrorists with his bizarre antics and penchant for risking life and limb). Add to this a true veteran of guerilla warfare, Sly Stallone, and put them all under the command of the ageing, but much respected, Wings Hauser. Wings would of course be the key to the whole mission as he would unveil his newfound legal skills (The Insider) to present Osama bin Laden with a fiendishly complicated extradition treaty. On top of this he would have the woodworking knowhow (The Carpenter) to build the gang out of the tightest of situations.
After Wings had singlehandly taken down the terrorists he would return to America and be elected President where his reign would be long and munificent. And Log in the Creek would finally become a delightful reality.
I am the Tarrant wrote:
I think thats
> his work email.
Ah.
Right, ok then. Try yours first.
Let us know what he says.
I think thats
> his work email.
Ah.
Right, ok then. Try yours first.
Let us know what he says.
I am the Tarrant wrote:
[email protected] right?
I guess so.
Either that or:
StevenSegal@I_really_cant_act_at_all.com?
[email protected] right?
I guess so.
Either that or:
StevenSegal@I_really_cant_act_at_all.com?
Sounds like a damn fine idea to me.
Lol!
That's a fantastic idea!
I suggest you pgone old Seagully boy up personally, and suggest your idea to him, see what he says.
That's a fantastic idea!
I suggest you pgone old Seagully boy up personally, and suggest your idea to him, see what he says.
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