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"Tony's Typical Day"

Dogfather here, just as something to do I thought I would write a poem about Tony and a typical day of his life. It took me ages to do and even though some of you could have done better in 5 minutes you could atleast still appreciate it and give me your comments and tell me what you think. Here it is:


As the birds chirped and the church bells rung
Tony knew the day had just begun
So he turned over to see that it had gone past 8
And realized that he was an hour late
He had a board meeting at 11
And he was meant to be at work by 7

So he got out of bed as quick as hell
But could still taste that awful smell
His head hurt from the night before
And his arms were rather sore
He had not time to have his early morning fag
He rushed to get dressed then ran out to his jag

He got in his brand new Jag and he was away
Went speeding at 120mph and was soon to pay
As he speeded on his way to work
He hit an object and felt a sudden jerk
In a panic he got out the car to see what he hit
And saw Ali rolling down a pit.

He looked about and no one was there
Then he grabbed Ali by the hair
And stuck his body in his boot
Getting blood all over his £ 1000 suit
He drove to the nearest football pitch
And threw Ali’s body in a muddy ditch

So off he went, to work in his normal way
Finished at 5 and went home like any normal day
The journey home made him think about what he’d done
He’d known Ali for years he was like a son
But if he hadn’t he would have went to jail
Just this thought sent Tony pail

When he finally got home he went a sleepless night
Then in the morning he got a freight
A loud knock at the door was a surprising wake up call
So he went to answer it, holding back his emotional haul.
At the door were the police who didn’t say a sound
They didn’t need to, as he knew Ali’s body had been found

Tony I’m afraid we have some bad news
Tony tried to remain calm, he had everything to loose
For what they said next would ruin his life
And that of his daughter and his beautiful wife
We’re sorry but your friend Ali’s has been found dead
We found him in a ditch with his eyes dislodged from his head

The police left as Tony was in a terrible state
He had to confess he couldn’t wait
But that meant a minimum of seven years in jail
He’d never see light again; his Lawyer would fail
His whole world had been turned upside down
And there was nothing he could do just sit there and frown

He had enough he knew what he had to do
He would die, but first he’d kill all his crew
The whole SR team would be dead by the end of the day
And Tony realised this was good to say
He went to the HQ with a 20” knife
And started by murdering his wife

He went on a rampage killing everyone in sight
Stabbing them so quickly they couldn’t put up a fight
Suddenly all the surrounding lights went from bright to dim
Making him notice the blood trail following him
He had now wiped out more half the team
By removing their stomachs, livers and their spleens

Walking to his office he noticed the light was on
And the stereo was playing his favourite song
So he stepped in the office and got a freight
To see Ali was there standing by the light
But how? Tony said out loud
Laughter came throughout the crowd

************************************************************

It was a birthday present Tony
It’s all just phoney
But he’d just stabbed 30 people until they died
Tony ran he had to hide
He’d killed all those innocent children and men
He couldn’t take it so stabbed himself in the neck with his pen

He was buried a week later under his favourite tree
For all those who loved him, to be able to see
He had led a great life
With a caring daughter and a loving wife
But now he must go to a better place
But the people of SR will always remember his face

************************************************************

Now the thing I couldn't decide was the ending so please tell me which one you thought was better. Her is the alternative. Thanks

************************************************************

"It was a practical joke Tony,
The whole thing was a phony!"
'But I just stabbed 30 people they are all dead!'
The sweat dripped from Tony's head
But Ali said not to worry
The knife was just a dummy

'But what about the blood?'
"Don't worry!" Said Ali "that was just a dud,
The staff used a red liquid, it fooled you well!"
'So how did you know about the rampage, how could you tell?'
"Your wife told us so; she'd already swapped the knives"
'Well, this proves everything, we have nine lives!'

So after all my hard efforts, did this turn out to be any good. Please go easy on my it was a first attempt. Oh and remember to say which ending was better.

Thanks for reading

The Dogfather

Lol @ Dogfather :D

I liked the way you rhymed through the whole thing - it was a good poem, laddie. ;-) It must of took a lot of time and effort to do this, and to me is a worthy GAD contribution.

Well done my son!

I know I heard about, the thing that gets me with that is that she died and so did 7 or 8 other people but because they weren't famous they don't get there name mentioned. And even if they did would we know how they are. That HP advert about, 'If you saw a inventor on the street, would you walk up to him and ask for his autogrpah,'?

I have no dis-respect for her but what I am saying is, what really do the famous do for the world? Maybe they make it more enjoyable, but do they donate to society? As in ways that scientists do?

Sorry that you might find this a bit sick as she has just died.

the American R'n'B singer Aliyah died yesterday in a plane crash with her aunt. Just thought i'd mention that, has absolutly nothing to do with the topic, i'm gonna take 2mins out to think about her great music......

Ofcourse people younger than me can achieve more, a 5 year old passed his maths GCSE and I probally counldn't even pass it now. But as an average for my age than it ain't bad really.

A British army member just got killed in Masadonia. Kill them all, is what I say.

The Dogfather wrote:
> That is true Fog, but if it was a master piece then taken all
> weekend to do it would have been good, unfortunatley it isn't. But
> I'm only 14, so I suppose it's good for my age.

your age means nothing really, there are kids younger than you that accomplish things far greater, just stick with it and you'll get some good inspiration, + if you enjoy it you'll find you write more.

That is true Fog, but if it was a master piece then taken all weekend to do it would have been good, unfortunatley it isn't. But I'm only 14, so I suppose it's good for my age.

Thanks Sniper that's like waching 5 minutes of a film and then saying it was Ok even though those 5 minutes were the worst 5 in the whole film. Appreciated.

The Dogfather wrote:
> Now it might seem like sad to you, but were I live it is deserted,
> so that is why I wake up around 10 or 11, turn my computer on and
> stay on this site till 3 in the morning. But any ways that poem
> took me from Friday night to last night to modify.

*Bows his
> head in shame and embarrassment*

no shame in that, if it's your first one it's bound to take some time, Rome wasn't built in a day

It's okay i guess.. didn't read it properly tho.

Now it might seem like sad to you, but were I live it is deserted, so that is why I wake up around 10 or 11, turn my computer on and stay on this site till 3 in the morning. But any ways that poem took me from Friday night to last night to modify.

*Bows his head in shame and embarrassment*