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Hello, I am easily impressionable and believe what I see on screen is real.
When not blowing away my colleagues because Natural Born Killers said it was ok, I have discovered the following information from watching movies:
Bruce Willis is indestructible
When defusing a bomb, you must almost cut 1 wire, then jump and cut another at the last second, and you must allow the timer to reach 1 or 2.
All bombs have a timer
Serial killers want to be caught and leave clues.
Most police are "too old for this"
You can fight for 3 minutes, and then shrug it off.
The underdog will win
Women wake up beautiful and wrapped in clean sheets
Detectives only have 24hrs before the DA "chews their @ss"
Kevin Spacey did it. He always does.
In order to over-take someone, you just press the accelerator even harder
You do not need to look at the road when driving, and you can whip the wheel from side to side
Ethnic characters are amusing sidekicks.
All Middle Eastern people are bad.
Not only are there villains, but "supervillains"
America won everything, ever. And Mel Gibson did most of the work.
Dinosaurs are bad and intent on destruction, yet the mass media has ignored 3 different outbreaks and people are suprised to find themselves on the island.
Aliens not only exist, but look like you would expect aliens to be.
Alien ships need lights. They are able to cross galaxies and communicate by thought, yet they cannot see in the dark.
When not blowing away my colleagues because Natural Born Killers said it was ok, I have discovered the following information from watching movies:
Bruce Willis is indestructible
When defusing a bomb, you must almost cut 1 wire, then jump and cut another at the last second, and you must allow the timer to reach 1 or 2.
All bombs have a timer
Serial killers want to be caught and leave clues.
Most police are "too old for this"
You can fight for 3 minutes, and then shrug it off.
The underdog will win
Women wake up beautiful and wrapped in clean sheets
Detectives only have 24hrs before the DA "chews their @ss"
Kevin Spacey did it. He always does.
In order to over-take someone, you just press the accelerator even harder
You do not need to look at the road when driving, and you can whip the wheel from side to side
Ethnic characters are amusing sidekicks.
All Middle Eastern people are bad.
Not only are there villains, but "supervillains"
America won everything, ever. And Mel Gibson did most of the work.
Dinosaurs are bad and intent on destruction, yet the mass media has ignored 3 different outbreaks and people are suprised to find themselves on the island.
Aliens not only exist, but look like you would expect aliens to be.
Alien ships need lights. They are able to cross galaxies and communicate by thought, yet they cannot see in the dark.
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Darkreaper wrote:
> James Bond always gets the girl at the end of the movie but he
> hasn't got any sexually transmitted diseases and he doesn't have
> loads of past flings hunting him down cause they've dropped a sprog
> and want some cash.
All of the inventions Q gives to James are
> always needed on his mission and are always used at least
> once.
James Bond never just walks up and shots the bad guy he
> kills them in some bizarre way.
When the bad guys catch James
> they never just shot him but put him in an easily escapable
> position.
All of the female characters have implausible names. P***y Galore and Christmas. As in the immortal line "Christmas has come early".
James Bond never has to reload his gun and it never
> runs out of ammo.
> James Bond always gets the girl at the end of the movie but he
> hasn't got any sexually transmitted diseases and he doesn't have
> loads of past flings hunting him down cause they've dropped a sprog
> and want some cash.
All of the inventions Q gives to James are
> always needed on his mission and are always used at least
> once.
James Bond never just walks up and shots the bad guy he
> kills them in some bizarre way.
When the bad guys catch James
> they never just shot him but put him in an easily escapable
> position.
All of the female characters have implausible names. P***y Galore and Christmas. As in the immortal line "Christmas has come early".
James Bond never has to reload his gun and it never
> runs out of ammo.
Anyone who is working class is a "character"
All British movies are gangster heist capers/romantic comedies/costume dramas to reflect contempary British life.
Ray Winstone is always Ray Winstone only with a different sheepskin jacket on to differentiate the movie
Posh drama school luvvies will play eastend gangsters
Real Eastend gangsters are "misunderstood" characters
All women over the age of 25 are biological terrorists as there is tumble weed blowing through their reproductive organs making them dangerously unstable
You can tell a female character is sensetive as they spend a lot of time writing in big loopy handwriting in notebooks
Fat girls get the guy when they've been traumatised and shed some flesh
Fat guys get the girl as women don't notice blubber
All women think a one night stand leads to marriage and will boil your domestic pet if you don't hit Ratners pronto.
All gay men are cross dressers
Women have tumultous orgams everytime
Sounding like you are choking on a silver spoon makes for a realistic cockney accent
A film is "gritty and real" when filmed in black and white.
I could go on and on, but I'll spare you......
All British movies are gangster heist capers/romantic comedies/costume dramas to reflect contempary British life.
Ray Winstone is always Ray Winstone only with a different sheepskin jacket on to differentiate the movie
Posh drama school luvvies will play eastend gangsters
Real Eastend gangsters are "misunderstood" characters
All women over the age of 25 are biological terrorists as there is tumble weed blowing through their reproductive organs making them dangerously unstable
You can tell a female character is sensetive as they spend a lot of time writing in big loopy handwriting in notebooks
Fat girls get the guy when they've been traumatised and shed some flesh
Fat guys get the girl as women don't notice blubber
All women think a one night stand leads to marriage and will boil your domestic pet if you don't hit Ratners pronto.
All gay men are cross dressers
Women have tumultous orgams everytime
Sounding like you are choking on a silver spoon makes for a realistic cockney accent
A film is "gritty and real" when filmed in black and white.
I could go on and on, but I'll spare you......
James Bond always gets the girl at the end of the movie but he hasn't got any sexually transmitted diseases and he doesn't have loads of past flings hunting him down cause they've dropped a sprog and want some cash.
All of the inventions Q gives to James are always needed on his mission and are always used at least once.
James Bond never just walks up and shots the bad guy he kills them in some bizarre way.
When the bad guys catch James they never just shot him but put him in an easily escapable position.
James Bond never has to reload his gun and it never runs out of ammo.
All of the inventions Q gives to James are always needed on his mission and are always used at least once.
James Bond never just walks up and shots the bad guy he kills them in some bizarre way.
When the bad guys catch James they never just shot him but put him in an easily escapable position.
James Bond never has to reload his gun and it never runs out of ammo.
Onto horror films (the most Cliché of them all):
People always look back, even being told not to, time and time again.
If anyone says 'I'll be right back', they won't, they're toast.
The boyfriend will always die.
The girlfriend will survive, with a gash on the forehead and a broken ankle, but at the expense of the boyfriennd, and may aquire a new love.
The wise one will come up with a good plan, but then die before being able to carry it out.
The crazy one will always die first, or become mortally wounded and appear at the end sane.
The monster is incredibly dangerous, yet will act very stupidly in a fight.
And if you ever pick up the phone, it's only a phonecall to your grave (If you know what I mean).
God there's so many for these, I could just go on and on.
People always look back, even being told not to, time and time again.
If anyone says 'I'll be right back', they won't, they're toast.
The boyfriend will always die.
The girlfriend will survive, with a gash on the forehead and a broken ankle, but at the expense of the boyfriennd, and may aquire a new love.
The wise one will come up with a good plan, but then die before being able to carry it out.
The crazy one will always die first, or become mortally wounded and appear at the end sane.
The monster is incredibly dangerous, yet will act very stupidly in a fight.
And if you ever pick up the phone, it's only a phonecall to your grave (If you know what I mean).
God there's so many for these, I could just go on and on.
Women choosing clothes in shops do so to a montage of classical pop songs, with either a gay friend or shop assistant with nothing else to do that will clap or shake head, holding their chin.
If you are terminally ill, Robin Williams is all you need to feel better about things.
If you have a nightmare, you will come awake and sit bolt upright with an explosion of panicked air, rather than wake, lay there and shrug.
If your wife/girlfriend cheats on you, chances are you will be in a position where you have to save the life of either her, the man who stole her, or both.
If you are terminally ill, Robin Williams is all you need to feel better about things.
If you have a nightmare, you will come awake and sit bolt upright with an explosion of panicked air, rather than wake, lay there and shrug.
If your wife/girlfriend cheats on you, chances are you will be in a position where you have to save the life of either her, the man who stole her, or both.
When the killer knocks at the door, the victim will poke her head out of the doorway, look left, look right, look left again, then re-enter the house and run straight into the killer who is supposed to have entered the house while she was standing there.
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