Viewing Thread:
"Best insults"

Please list your favourite insults, no swearing or hugely offensive posts please. My favourite is calling someone a 'shaved ape'.

Yo mamma - the ugly collection:

Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.
Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.
Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.
Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!
Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!
Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!
Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life.
Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

etc...

Gamer insults (RPG's):

Bald headed orc wipe.
You shot how many fireballs? You little fireball-***t you.
Deceased griffon offal.
Sissified wimp.
Grounded faerie.
Numb dice.
That was SO 2nd level of you.

General:

You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
When it comes to I.Q. points you lose some everytime you go to the bathroom.
You're so bent you make a roundabout look straight.
If my dog was that ugly I'd shave his backside and make him walk backwards.
Don't let your mind wander, it's far to small to be let out on its own.
I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
You don't know the meaning of the word 'fear', but then you don't know the meaning of most words.

Your mum's so fat, her blood type's Ragu.
Your mum's so fat, every time she wears high heels she strike oil.

Your mum's so fat, every time she turns around it's her birthday.

You're mum's so fat, she needs a fork lift truck to lift her off the toilet seat.

Wookiee, thats not a very nice thing to say about Turbnutter!


:-)

I don't know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Your Mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Your mum's so fat, when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell.

And of course, there's the infamous insult which started here on the SR forums...

"You absolute cheatguru..."