Viewing Thread:
"Favourite film quotes?"

There are some brilliant lines in films but what is your favourite ever line in a film.

I'd say mine has either got to be out of Glengary Glenross or a Samuel L Jackson line. Errrrr.....probably.....

1)Put that coffee down (Glengarry Glenross - Alec Baldwin)
2)The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the enequaties of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will sheperds the weak through the valley of darkness for he is truly his brothers keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. (Pulp Fiction - do I really need to say who says it)
3)You damn right (Shaft - again, do I really need to say)

I could probably think of a better line from GlenGary Glenroos but 'these forums can be viewed by people of all ages and therefore bad language will not be tolerated'.

The Silly Election from Monty Python Live at Drury Lane

(Racy music)

Cleese (talking very fast, as do all the commentators): Hello, good evening and welcome to Election Night Special. There's tremendous excitement here at the moment and we should be getting the first results through any moment now. We're not sure where it will be from, it might be Leicester or from West Byfleet, the polling's been quite heavy in both areas. Ah, I'm just getting... I'm just getting... a buzzing noise in my left ear. Urgh, argh! (removes insect and stamps on it). And now let's go straight over to Leicester.

Palin: And it's a straight fight here at Leicester and we're expecting the result any moment now. There with the Returning Officer is Arthur Smith the sensible candidate and next to him is Jethro Q. Walrustitty the silly candidate with his agent and his silly wife.

Idle: (clears throat) Here is the result for Leicester. Arthur J. Smith...

Cleese: (Sensible Party)

Idle: ...30,612. (applause)

Jethro Q. Bunn Whackett Buzzard Stubble and Boot Walrustitty..

Cleese: (Silly Party)

Idle: ...33,108. (applause)

Cleese: Well there we have the first result of the election and the Silly party has held Leicester. Norman.

Palin: Well pretty much as I predicted, except that the Silly party won. Er, I think this is largely due to the number of votes cast. Gerald.

Chapman: Well there's a big swing here to the Silly Party, but how big a swing I'm not going to tell you.

Palin: I think one should point out that in this constituency since the last election a lot of very silly people have moved into new housing states with the result that a lot of sensible voters have moved further down the road the other side of number er, 29.

Cleese: Well I can't add anything to that. Colin?

Idle: Can I just say that this is the first time I've been on television?

Cleese: No I'm sorry, there isn't time, we're just going straight over to Luton.

Chapman: Well here at Luton it's a three-cornered contest between, from left to right, Alan Jones (Sensible Party), Tarquin Fintimlinbin hinbimlim Bus Stop Poontang Poontang Ole Biscuit-Barrel (Silly Party), and Kevin Phillips Bong, who is running on the Slightly Silly ticket. And here's the result.

Woman: Alan Jones...

Cleese: (Sensible)

Woman: ...9,112.
Kevin Phillips Bong...

Cleese: (Slightly Silly)

Woman: Nought.
Tarquin Fintimlinbin hinbimlim Bus Stop Poontang Poontang Ole Biscuit-Barrel...

Cleese: (Silly)

Woman: 12,441. (applause)

Cleese: Well there you have it, the first result of the election as the Silly Party take Luton. Norman.

Palin: Well this is a very significant result. Luton, normally a very sensible constituency with a high proportion of people who aren't a bit silly, has gone completely ga-ga.

Cleese: And we've just heard that James Gilbert has with him the winning Silly candidate at Luton.

Idle: Tarquin, are you pleased with this result?

Tarquin (Palin): Ho yus, me old beauty, I should say so. (Silly noises including a goat bleating).

Cleese: And do we have the swing at Luton?

Chapman: Er... no.

Cleese: (pause) Right, well I can't add anything to that. Colin?

Idle: Can I just say that this is the second time I've been on television?

Cleese: No, I'm sorry there isn't time, we're just about to get another result.

Palin: And this one is from Harpenden Southeast. A very interesting constituency this: in addition to the official Silly candidate there is an unofficial Very Silly candidate, in the slab of concrete, and he could well split the silly vote here at Harpenden Southeast.

Jones: Mrs Elsie Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Cleese: (Silly)

Jones: 26,317 (applause).
Jeanette Walker...
Cleese: (Sensible)

Jones: 26,318...

Cleese: Very close!

Jones: Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Blackpool Rock Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable Brrroooo Norman Michael (rings bell) (blows whistle)Edward (sounds car horn) (does train impersonation) (sounds buzzer)Thomas Moo... (sings) "We'll keep a welcome in the..." (fires gun) William (makes silly noise) "Raindrops keep falling on my" (weird noise) "Don't sleep in the subway" (cuckoo cuckoo) Naaoooo... Smith...

Cleese: (Very Silly)

Jones: ...two.

Cleese: Well there you have it, a Sensible gain at Harpenden with the Silly vote being split.

Palin: And we've just heard from Luton that Tony Stratton-Smith has with him there the unsuccessful Slightly Silly candidate, Kevin Phillips Bong.

Idle: Kevin Phillips Bong. You polled no votes at all. Not a sausage. B*gger all. Are you at all disappointed with this performance?

Bong (Neil Innes): Not at all. As I always say:
Climb every mountain Ford every stream, Follow every by-way, Till you find your dream. (Sings) A dream that will last All the love you can give Every day of your life For as long as you live. All together now! Climb every mountain Ford every stream...

Cleese: A very brave Kevin Phillips Bong there. Norman.

Palin: And I've just heard from Luton that my aunt is ill. Possibly gastro-enteritis, possibly just catarrh. Gerald.

Cleese: Right. Er, Colin?

Idle: Can I just say that I'll never appear on television again?

Cleese: No I'm sorry, there isn't time, we have to pick up a few results you may have missed. A little pink p****-cat has taken Barrow-in-Furness -- that's a gain from the Liberals there. Rastus Odinga Odinga has taken Wolverhampton Southwest, that's Enoch Powell's old constituency -- an important gain there for Darkie Power. Arthur Negus has held Bristols -- that's not a result, that's just a piece of gossip. Sir Alec Douglas Home has taken Oldham for the Stone Dead party. A small piece of putty about that big, a cheese mechanic from Dunbar and two
frogs -- one called Kipper the other not -- have all gone "Ni ni ni ni ni ni!" in Blackpool Central. And so it's beginning to look like a Silly landslide, and with the prospect of five more years' Silly government facing us we... Oh I don't want to do this any more, I'm bored!

Palin: He's right you know, it is a bloody waste of time.
Chapman: Absolute waste of time.

Palin: I wanted to be a gynaecologist...

Customer: Hello, I would like to buy a fish license, please.
Shopkeeper: A what?
C: A license for my pet fish, Eric.
S: How did you know my name was Eric?
C: No no no, my fish's name is Eric, Eric the fish. He's an halibut.
S: What?
C: He is...an...halibut.
S: You've got a pet halibut?
C: Yes. I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were
all too flat.
S: You must be a looney.
C: I am not a looney! Why should I be attired with the epithet looney merely
because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabardo
has a pet prawn called Simon (you wouldn't call him a looney); furthermore,
Dawn Pailthorpe, the lady show-jumper, had a clam, called Stafford, after
the late Chancellor, Allan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and
Marcel Proust had an haddock! So, if you're calling the author of 'A la
recherche du temps perdu' a looney, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
S: Alright, alright, alright. A license.
C: Yes.
S: For a fish.
C: Yes.
S: You are a looney.
C: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog
Eric, and I've got a license for me pet cat Eric...
S: You don't need a license for your cat.
C: I bleeding well do and I got one. He can't be called Eric without it--
S: There's no such thing as a bloody cat license.
C: Yes there is!
S: Isn't!
C: Is!
S: Isn't!
C: I bleeding got one, look! What's that then?
S: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written
in in crayon.
C: The man didn't have the right form.
S: What man?
C: The man from the cat detector van.
S: The looney detector van, you mean.
C: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
S: What cat detector van?
C: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
S: Housinge?
C: It was spelt like that on the van (I'm very observant!). I never seen so
many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint
a purr at four hundred yards! And Eric, being such a happy cat, was a
piece of cake.
S: How much did you pay for this?
C: Sixty quid, and eight for the fruit-bat.
S: What fruit-bat?
C: Eric the fruit-bat.
S: Are all your pets called Eric?
C: There's nothing so odd about that: Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie
called Abdul!
S: No he didn't!
C: Did!
S: Didn't!
C: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
S: Oh, all right.
C: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish license?
S: I promise you that there is no such thing: you don't need one.
C: In that case, give me a bee license.
S: A license for your pet bee?
C: Yes.
S: Called Eric? Eric the Bee?
C: No.
S: No?
C: No, Eric the Half-Bee. He had an accident.
S: You're off your chump.
C: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquiallism to
imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or indeed to deny the
semi-existence of my little chum Eric the Half-Bee, I shall have to ask
you to listen to this!
Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader!.......

"So what are we looking for? Some kind of giant moth?"

Species. Pretty poor film but Michael Madson was in it so it just got a hell of a lot better.

In fact here's a few more Madsen lines:

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?"
- Reservoir Dogs

"Okay, my friend's not gonna take off his shoes so how about you just give us a table before I whack you"
- Donnie Brasco

"How much those pants cost?" "Fifteen hundred dollars" "..you paid fifteen hundred dollars for pants? They got a tv in them?" The Last Boy Scout

"Buckwheat!" Things To Do in Denver When You're Dead

"Ever seen a grown man naked, Timmy?" Airplane

"You broke my sister!" Toys

"We've come on holiday by mistake" Withnail & I

"Ain't no way, I said no way you come from my loins boy, I'm goin' home to kick your momma in the butt" Smokey & The Bandit

"The book says we may be through with the past, but the past is not through with us" Magnolia

"This is a restaurant, not a funnin libray" The Cook, The Thief, his wife and her lover

"You stupid fat barrel of monkey spunk" The Shawshank Redemption

There are some good quotes in 'The Rock', but I cant the remember all the wording. I will find out tonight.

Best 'Gladiator' one is:
"What we do in life, echoes in eternity!" (It's on the poster, Maximus says it just before they battle at the beggining.)

I had a huge and brilliantly funny (of course) post to put here with the best signs out of my collection from my Random Sig generator for Outlook. However the incredibly tempremental automatic profanity and such filter won't let me post it. There are absolutely no offensive words, spaces used propperly and capitals are used in their propper places.

This is the second time this has happened (last time it turned out to be a 30-ish character phrase, no where near the noted 70 character per word limit) in a few days. Its quite annoying when you've spent time doing a post to be unable to post it for absolutely no reason. How about having the filter highlight the problem in the post in a different colour in future?

Here are a few ...

"You ever kill anyone?"
"I hurt somebody's feelings once."
- Ronin

"This is worse than the time when I fell asleep and you put your d*** in my mouth and took a picture."
- South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut

"I used to box for Oxford."
"Oh, really? I used to kill for the CIA."
- A Fish Called Wanda

"Did you have any trouble getting in?"
"No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle."
- Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

"There's something very important I forgot to tell you."
"What?"
"Don't cross the streams."
"Why?"
"It would be "I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean 'bad'?"
"Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light."
"That's bad. Okay. Alright: important safety tip. Thanks Egon."
- Ghostbusters

"He knocked over another ATM. This time at knife point. He needs your legal advice."
[Picking up 'phone and shouting] "Stop breaking the law, a******!"
- Liar! Liar!

"This is the nineties. You don't just go around punching people - you have to say something cool first."
- The Last Boy Scout

"They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? 'I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?'."
- Grosse Pointe Blank

"Stu, Stu, what's your motive? Billy's got one, the police are on their way, what are you gonna tell them?"
"Peer pressure - I'm far too sensitive."
- Scream

"Do you actually like haggis?"
"No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare."
- So I Married an Axe Murderer

"Don't mock me my friend. It's a condition of mental divergence. I find myself on the planet Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate the barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though this is a totally convincing reality for me in every way, nevertheless Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent, in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?"
Twelve Monkeys

"On my signal: unleash Hell."
- Gladiator

The_Vottanator wrote:
> My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius and I really can't bothered to
> recite this whole scene.


Oh I'm sorry did I break you
> concentration. I didn't mean to do that. Please continue. Oh you
> were finished. Well, let me retort. You were saying something about
> best intentions.

Samuel L Jackson has all the best lines.

Your damn right he does!