Viewing Thread:
"Anyone that is being bullied"

Ok, since Cooldogs posted his experiences of being bullied, it keeps cropping up time and time again.
Wookie offered his thoughts on the subject, and I want to try and say something about it.
Here goes:

I can say with hand on heart that my schooldays were the most miserable and hated times of my life that I can remember.
Why?
Bullies.
Made my life hell from 12-16 until I left to go to College.
I was small for my age, wore glasses, read a lot and was quiet. In school, this marks you out as a target for others. You’re “weak” or “gay”, and it’s open season on the little kid.
There was a gang of about 6 kids, some my age, some in the year below me that made it their mission in life to harass, taunt, smack and generally abuse on a daily basis.
The train on the way to school, waiting for lessons, walking to the station after school, the train ride home and on the bus until I got off at my stop.

Why?

Because I was quiet, didn’t like sports, never said anything back and just wanted to get on with school and learn stuff. I loved that part of school, learning stuff I didn’t know, I did my homework, paid attention in class and made the effort to do as well as I can.
Which meant I was “different”, and therefore it was ok to go out of their way to torment me.

You read, you play video game and you spend a lot of time in your room. You feel alone, hopeless and lost. You feel like you must be doing something wrong for someone to want to be so nasty to you.
I couldn’t tell my mum, she was a single mum and worked hard to send me to this school, a grammar school, so that I would have a better chance in life.
What do I say? “Hey mum, you know you work all hours so I can go to a good school? Well, I don’t like it. Please send me somewhere else.”
No, you don’t say anything because you realise how much of a struggle it is for a single mother to raise 2 kids and to go without things so you can get the best education possible.

You can’t talk to your teachers, because all that would happen is the bullies would get detention. And then they would come back for you, twice as hard for grassing on them.
So, you go to school every day, you take the punishments, you wish you were somewhere else.
You wish you were invisible, or bigger/stronger than the bullies.
You come home every night and you cry your heart out because there is nobody you can talk to about this, it will never get any better and you know the same thing will happen tomorrow and tomorrow and on and on and on.

Maybe you can’t afford the latest sneakers for games, maybe you wear glasses, or you’re over-weight, or you’re small, or you have a religion that is different, or you’re a different colour.
So many reasons to get bullied.
I spent night after night writing stories (like Cooldogs), playing on my spectrum, reading books or sitting with my star wars toys creating worlds to lose myself in, because anything was better than going to school, where you know this is going to start again.
There may be times when you think about suicide.
It may be 2am and you are awake, stomach in knots because you can’t face what will come when you go through those school gates.
I became withdrawn, didn’t speak much, didn’t go out and tried to be as unseen as possible.

And then I went to college.
Nobody knew me there. I dreaded seeing people from my school there, but nobody was.
And you know what the strange thing is?
I made friends. A lot of friends.
Nobody cared that I wore glasses, nobody cared that I listened to old music, nobody cared that I didn’t like to play football.
These were people that took me for what I was, and didn’t judge me.
I came out of my shell like you wouldn’t believe. I taught myself the drums, I joined a band, I did all the things I should have done when I was at school but didn’t.
I went out with my mates and got drunk, acted the fool and generally goofed off, it was like being let out of a prison cell.

I don’t have any answers if you’re in this position right now, except to say that it WILL stop when you leave school. People outside of school don’t care what you look like/think like etc.
I am no longer a timid little boy, I play in a fantastic band, I have some seriously good friends, I learned to stick up for myself and I take zero crap from anyone now. I’m
And when I see or hear other kids in the same position, I get so angry because nobody, and I mean NOBODY has the right to treat you like that.
Cooldogs had his writing and his dog to save him, I had writing and video-games and movies.
Video games can make you forget about everything else for a while, as can books and movies.

Please, if you’re being bullied and can’t talk to anyone, just hold on and be strong. It WILL end when you leave school, I promise. You’re not stupid or crap, you’re not to blame, you’re not wrong.
You need to keep going and realise that you will meet people that will like you for the same reasons you’re getting abuse now.
I have gone from being a little boy that lived in his head, to being a drummer with good friends, a beautiful girlfriend and the chance to try and help anyone else in the same situation I was.

Please, please don’t let them think you’re a bad person.

One thing i didn't mention in my first post, not sure why:

While i was at school and all this stuff was going off, i joined an amatuer drama club. Big deal, you may think, but it helped. A lot.

Everyone there was really friendly and it was a really good laugh. I learnt that most people don't care what you look like/what music you listen to/what you dress like etc.

It taught me to be self confident, which helps so much in everyday life. Before i joined, whenever we had to read stuff out in class, i got really really nervous, even though i knew everyone there. But after i'd been going to drama for a bit, my confidence grew and i was fine.

It's helped me in lots of things, interviews, getting on with people, standing up for myself etc.

I'd recommend it to everyone, whether you're being bullied or not. It's great fun and you get a lot out of it as well.

Yes... bullying is a dreadful thing, and yes, I have experienced it. Quite a lot.

However... surviving bullying is a wonderful thing. The ability to rise above it, the way it expands your mind, helps you to think. You will become more intelligent than what you would have been if you were not bullied.

Talent and genious springs from emotions. If the world treats you like crap, you will become a better person from it. I've held a knife to my wrist once or twice, and only the thoughts of not being with the things I love stops me. I.E. Writing, reading, games... the stuff that emmerses you. Friends too... well as of late, anyway, have helped me to convince myself too.

And what has happened to me, because of bullying, the way I felt, and the fact that I didn't kill myself?

I've discovered my goal in life. I want to work in games... as a designer, like a character creator. Level design, stuff like that. I worked hard at it... found ways to learn, stole software so I could learn further.

And because I didn't kill myself, and because I worked hard because of it, I sent off some of my work to Rareware... the guys that made Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Conkers Bad Fur Day. I wanted to see if I could go on work experience with them.

They offered me a job instead.

So while you think that you're going through hell... trust me, it's worth it. Focus your emotions on creativity, writing, designing, drawing. You will become gifted.

And although I had no idea that these things would happen, I still kept myself alive. I pondered to myself... thinking about myself. Looking for things I had no idea that were there.

Now? I work as hard as I've ever done, because I enjoy it. I create characters, and I'm now working on an animation of some of the stories that the people in these forums have wrote together as friends.

Please... the next time you feel suicidal, remember that good will come out of it. Those that survive the trumors of life, death, bullying, illnesses... they go on, and they will succeed.

By the way. I'm sixteen.

That is the worst part of the whole thing.

Feeling like you're alone.
Feeling like nobody would understand the things in your head.
Someone does, there are people here that know what you're going through and will listen if you want to talk.

It's easy to say "Tell the headmaster" now I'm not at school, I couldn't do it when I was there.

The most important thing to remember is that it will stop.
Everything you are getting bullied for now, you will meet people that will like you for exactly the same thing.

Cooldogs came here, opened his heart and nobody mocked him.
Nobody laughed or made stupid comments or said he was stupid or gay or a loser.
That is what the "real" world is like.

At school, people that are bigger than you will take advantage of that and bully you.
Outside of school, those people end up serving you burgers and empyting your bins because they were too busy being "cool" or "hard" at school.

Please don't lose your confidence, don't go inside yourself because it can take you years to come back out.
They bully you because you read a lot?
That's their loss.
They bully you because you are crap at sports?
Let them kick a ball about and shout, I spent my lunchtimes in the library discovering worlds and people I'd never heard of.

The only thing that matters is that you are not a bad person, please remember that.
And, if you were bullied at school, remember that the next time you make a comment to someone because they're black or have ginger hair or are disabled.

Remember how low and alone you felt and realise that you're doing the same thing to them.

Take something positive from your experiences, and check yourself when you think you're being "funny" or "cool" by mocking someone else.

I can only echo the sentiments written here and go on to say that in taking a look around at the people and the posts on these forums, anybody that is being bullied should realise how things can and will work once they leave school. I can’t tell what people here look like, how they sound and so on, I can only judge you on what you write and how you write it.

A vast majority of the users of these forums are funny, conversant and intelligent people. Recently a lot of the posts have been about exams and universities etceteras, not exactly the domain of the underachiever around here is it?

Be proud of the fact that people get on with you on a Internet forum, I can’t see your trainers from my office, I can only discuss and laugh at the things you say. If you all spewed rubbish all the time I wouldn’t be here.

Excellent.

The only thing I can add is that, when you're being bullied, you have a tendency to think that you're the only person in the world that it's happening to.

You're not.

If you know someone who's being bullied, get them to read these posts - even if you have to print them off. They may be able to draw some kind of strength from them.

My respect Goaty has now gone through the roof after reading that. I know how hard it is to write stuff like that as i was bullied at schol as well. Nothing physical, just verbal stuff which can be just as bad.

They took the mick out of me as i have ginger hair and i was (without being big headed) in the more intelligent half of the class, i was a 'bof'. I used to hate school, i wanted to dye my hair a different colour. I nearly did. But then i realised. I didn't have a problem with my hair, it was everyone else. So when they laughed at me, i laughed as well, not caring. I learnt to laugh at myself, to not take things seriously. I learnt how to make other people laugh.

After i left school and went to college, the kind of change Goaty mentioed took place. All the bullies dropped out and didn't go to college. I met new people, i could make them laugh. I got a circle of friends around me. They didn't care i had ginger hair, but they liked me as me.

I did well at my A-levels and now im on the placement year of my university course. Although i only moved here on sunday, things are going well. I'm slowly getting to know people, none of whom care about my hair etc.

All in all i agree with Goaty, things will get better as soon as you leave school. If you need to talk to someone, talk. If you can't talk to you teachers or parents or whatever, come on here. I know some regulars on here have had similar experiences and they may be willing to talk to you about it. I certainly will.

Ok, since Cooldogs posted his experiences of being bullied, it keeps cropping up time and time again.
Wookie offered his thoughts on the subject, and I want to try and say something about it.
Here goes:

I can say with hand on heart that my schooldays were the most miserable and hated times of my life that I can remember.
Why?
Bullies.
Made my life hell from 12-16 until I left to go to College.
I was small for my age, wore glasses, read a lot and was quiet. In school, this marks you out as a target for others. You’re “weak” or “gay”, and it’s open season on the little kid.
There was a gang of about 6 kids, some my age, some in the year below me that made it their mission in life to harass, taunt, smack and generally abuse on a daily basis.
The train on the way to school, waiting for lessons, walking to the station after school, the train ride home and on the bus until I got off at my stop.

Why?

Because I was quiet, didn’t like sports, never said anything back and just wanted to get on with school and learn stuff. I loved that part of school, learning stuff I didn’t know, I did my homework, paid attention in class and made the effort to do as well as I can.
Which meant I was “different”, and therefore it was ok to go out of their way to torment me.

You read, you play video game and you spend a lot of time in your room. You feel alone, hopeless and lost. You feel like you must be doing something wrong for someone to want to be so nasty to you.
I couldn’t tell my mum, she was a single mum and worked hard to send me to this school, a grammar school, so that I would have a better chance in life.
What do I say? “Hey mum, you know you work all hours so I can go to a good school? Well, I don’t like it. Please send me somewhere else.”
No, you don’t say anything because you realise how much of a struggle it is for a single mother to raise 2 kids and to go without things so you can get the best education possible.

You can’t talk to your teachers, because all that would happen is the bullies would get detention. And then they would come back for you, twice as hard for grassing on them.
So, you go to school every day, you take the punishments, you wish you were somewhere else.
You wish you were invisible, or bigger/stronger than the bullies.
You come home every night and you cry your heart out because there is nobody you can talk to about this, it will never get any better and you know the same thing will happen tomorrow and tomorrow and on and on and on.

Maybe you can’t afford the latest sneakers for games, maybe you wear glasses, or you’re over-weight, or you’re small, or you have a religion that is different, or you’re a different colour.
So many reasons to get bullied.
I spent night after night writing stories (like Cooldogs), playing on my spectrum, reading books or sitting with my star wars toys creating worlds to lose myself in, because anything was better than going to school, where you know this is going to start again.
There may be times when you think about suicide.
It may be 2am and you are awake, stomach in knots because you can’t face what will come when you go through those school gates.
I became withdrawn, didn’t speak much, didn’t go out and tried to be as unseen as possible.

And then I went to college.
Nobody knew me there. I dreaded seeing people from my school there, but nobody was.
And you know what the strange thing is?
I made friends. A lot of friends.
Nobody cared that I wore glasses, nobody cared that I listened to old music, nobody cared that I didn’t like to play football.
These were people that took me for what I was, and didn’t judge me.
I came out of my shell like you wouldn’t believe. I taught myself the drums, I joined a band, I did all the things I should have done when I was at school but didn’t.
I went out with my mates and got drunk, acted the fool and generally goofed off, it was like being let out of a prison cell.

I don’t have any answers if you’re in this position right now, except to say that it WILL stop when you leave school. People outside of school don’t care what you look like/think like etc.
I am no longer a timid little boy, I play in a fantastic band, I have some seriously good friends, I learned to stick up for myself and I take zero crap from anyone now. I’m
And when I see or hear other kids in the same position, I get so angry because nobody, and I mean NOBODY has the right to treat you like that.
Cooldogs had his writing and his dog to save him, I had writing and video-games and movies.
Video games can make you forget about everything else for a while, as can books and movies.

Please, if you’re being bullied and can’t talk to anyone, just hold on and be strong. It WILL end when you leave school, I promise. You’re not stupid or crap, you’re not to blame, you’re not wrong.
You need to keep going and realise that you will meet people that will like you for the same reasons you’re getting abuse now.
I have gone from being a little boy that lived in his head, to being a drummer with good friends, a beautiful girlfriend and the chance to try and help anyone else in the same situation I was.

Please, please don’t let them think you’re a bad person.