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Oh my word! If Goatboy's review friends were right, then well, err we have a lot of unhappy Americans! Ah well, they're too fat to get angry about it or do anything so I guess they won't bother warning us!
The trailers have started and look sensationally amateurish - I mean eeek! Ah well, I'm going to see it for sure and I imagine a lot of you will too.
But really, FORTY SEVEN MILLION? That's an incredible amount for the first week of showing - average USA ticket price would be around £3 I suppose (they get EVERYTHING cheaper than us) (even ford focus', or should that be Foci?) so have 16million USAians been subjected to Miss Jolie's jolly parade of spectacular stunts and 'woeful' acting? Or did they...like it?
If Goatboy gets word of this he'll fumigate at the toenails, and I don't quite know what that means so watch out!
Anyhoo, Angelin- Lara Croft is one of the most (in)famous games characters of all time, and has been realised (as in made real) into a promising young actress who may well have wrecked her career - but I doubt it.
So, who's going to watch it?
The trailers have started and look sensationally amateurish - I mean eeek! Ah well, I'm going to see it for sure and I imagine a lot of you will too.
But really, FORTY SEVEN MILLION? That's an incredible amount for the first week of showing - average USA ticket price would be around £3 I suppose (they get EVERYTHING cheaper than us) (even ford focus', or should that be Foci?) so have 16million USAians been subjected to Miss Jolie's jolly parade of spectacular stunts and 'woeful' acting? Or did they...like it?
If Goatboy gets word of this he'll fumigate at the toenails, and I don't quite know what that means so watch out!
Anyhoo, Angelin- Lara Croft is one of the most (in)famous games characters of all time, and has been realised (as in made real) into a promising young actress who may well have wrecked her career - but I doubt it.
So, who's going to watch it?
Page:
Angry, NNOOOOO!!!!
They got to see Angelina Jolie in tight T-Shirts and little pairs of shorts for only a couple of dollars!!!
They got to see Angelina Jolie in tight T-Shirts and little pairs of shorts for only a couple of dollars!!!
Some reviews from US sites:
Los Angeles Times:
Though it is busy enough and must have spent a fortune on computer-generated effects, "Tomb Raider" is almost completely lacking in genuine thrills. Even the attractive presence of star Angelina Jolie can't keep this leaden, plodding, completely underwhelming film from playing like "Lara Croft: Yawn Inducer."
San Francisco Chronicle:
At least this much can be said with certainty. One more close-up of Jolie staring dead-eyed, with jaw slack and lips parted, and it will be time to fling down the popcorn and flee the theater. It's supposed to be cool. It's not cool. With a video game, the player becomes Lara and cares about what happens to her. Here, it's a toss-up whether we should care more about Jolie or the monkey gargoyles that attack her. At least those gargoyles are interesting, and so is the statue of a raptor that snatches Lara and flies off with her, then crumbles to dust in midair.
Rolling Stone:
Among the special effects, the stone monkeys rock, but you might be more distracted by the fact that Jolie's breasts seem to balloon and deflate from scene to scene. In the department of numbing ineptitude, the pacing runs a neck-and-neck race with the dialogue. Jolie uses a Brit accent that is not nearly as deft as the one Texan Renee Zellweger sports in Bridget Jones's Diary. And Zellweger had clever lines to speak; Jolie is saddled with clinkers. Even the casting of her real father, Jon Voight, as Lara's dead father, ranks as a missed opportunity.
But, they are already in pre-production for a sequel.
Ah well.
Los Angeles Times:
Though it is busy enough and must have spent a fortune on computer-generated effects, "Tomb Raider" is almost completely lacking in genuine thrills. Even the attractive presence of star Angelina Jolie can't keep this leaden, plodding, completely underwhelming film from playing like "Lara Croft: Yawn Inducer."
San Francisco Chronicle:
At least this much can be said with certainty. One more close-up of Jolie staring dead-eyed, with jaw slack and lips parted, and it will be time to fling down the popcorn and flee the theater. It's supposed to be cool. It's not cool. With a video game, the player becomes Lara and cares about what happens to her. Here, it's a toss-up whether we should care more about Jolie or the monkey gargoyles that attack her. At least those gargoyles are interesting, and so is the statue of a raptor that snatches Lara and flies off with her, then crumbles to dust in midair.
Rolling Stone:
Among the special effects, the stone monkeys rock, but you might be more distracted by the fact that Jolie's breasts seem to balloon and deflate from scene to scene. In the department of numbing ineptitude, the pacing runs a neck-and-neck race with the dialogue. Jolie uses a Brit accent that is not nearly as deft as the one Texan Renee Zellweger sports in Bridget Jones's Diary. And Zellweger had clever lines to speak; Jolie is saddled with clinkers. Even the casting of her real father, Jon Voight, as Lara's dead father, ranks as a missed opportunity.
But, they are already in pre-production for a sequel.
Ah well.
hehe
Fumigate at the toenails...maybe.
This is the opening weekend takings, once word of mouth gets round, you will see it fall like a fat lady from a tall building.
Or else I will personally hunt down Simon West and wear his scalp like a hat
Fumigate at the toenails...maybe.
This is the opening weekend takings, once word of mouth gets round, you will see it fall like a fat lady from a tall building.
Or else I will personally hunt down Simon West and wear his scalp like a hat
Oh my word! If Goatboy's review friends were right, then well, err we have a lot of unhappy Americans! Ah well, they're too fat to get angry about it or do anything so I guess they won't bother warning us!
The trailers have started and look sensationally amateurish - I mean eeek! Ah well, I'm going to see it for sure and I imagine a lot of you will too.
But really, FORTY SEVEN MILLION? That's an incredible amount for the first week of showing - average USA ticket price would be around £3 I suppose (they get EVERYTHING cheaper than us) (even ford focus', or should that be Foci?) so have 16million USAians been subjected to Miss Jolie's jolly parade of spectacular stunts and 'woeful' acting? Or did they...like it?
If Goatboy gets word of this he'll fumigate at the toenails, and I don't quite know what that means so watch out!
Anyhoo, Angelin- Lara Croft is one of the most (in)famous games characters of all time, and has been realised (as in made real) into a promising young actress who may well have wrecked her career - but I doubt it.
So, who's going to watch it?
The trailers have started and look sensationally amateurish - I mean eeek! Ah well, I'm going to see it for sure and I imagine a lot of you will too.
But really, FORTY SEVEN MILLION? That's an incredible amount for the first week of showing - average USA ticket price would be around £3 I suppose (they get EVERYTHING cheaper than us) (even ford focus', or should that be Foci?) so have 16million USAians been subjected to Miss Jolie's jolly parade of spectacular stunts and 'woeful' acting? Or did they...like it?
If Goatboy gets word of this he'll fumigate at the toenails, and I don't quite know what that means so watch out!
Anyhoo, Angelin- Lara Croft is one of the most (in)famous games characters of all time, and has been realised (as in made real) into a promising young actress who may well have wrecked her career - but I doubt it.
So, who's going to watch it?
Page: