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"Regrets if you died tomorrow..."

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Sun 14/08/05 at 22:39
Regular
"Copyright: FM Inc."
Posts: 10,338
I've been thinking alot about death recently (for no reason other than sometimes humans tend to do that from time to time), and it occurred to me that I've led such a blessed life that should I die tomorrow, I would have zero regrets.

I've done everything I wanted to, been everywhere I wanted to, enriched the lives of some, worsened the lives of others (but in a way this enriches the lives of those who would otherwise have had to deal with them) and have no goals left to set myself.

Being non-religious I don't have an irrational fear of death, I just see it as the divide between life and a non-existent state in the same way that my birth was a divide between the same non-existent state and life.

It would be nice to see England win the World Cup in my lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, mainly because I don't believe there is a grand scheme of things.

What fascinates me most is that the spark of life - the entity, the consciousness - that is me, must have come from somewhere. Maybe it is just something produced by lots of synapses firing off in my brain, maybe I'm just an area for all my thoughts to come together to enable them to be projected out, and the brain evolved 'conscious identity' as the easiest way of doing this. Or maybe I'm a spirit, or a soul. Or maybe life is something completely different.

6 billion people on the planet and nobody has figured it out yet, I doubt anyone ever will either, and I doubt death will provide any answers. So until that event, I'm just going to carry on enjoying life (and taking the rough with the smooth, for that is part of life).
Mon 15/08/05 at 13:50
Regular
"..."
Posts: 9,808
Very_Metal wrote:
> a lot!

V_M, I can sympathise there. A long-term relationship I had with one of my ex's ended because I didn't want kids (FFS, I was still at Uni at the time)...I was gutted, she was shacked up with another bloke inside a fortnight...

She also ended it by phone.

Everything worked out in the end though. I met Lucy who is worth about 10 of my ex...(and doesn't want kids :->)

EDIT: As for my own regrets...probably just that I haven't seen much of the world. Not a biggie...
Mon 15/08/05 at 11:42
Regular
"Ar-gen-tina!"
Posts: 8,818
Pretty strong stuff there Very Metal, time is the only healer no matter what anyone tells you.

Regrets? yes of course I have regrets but mine are fairly small. It's the old saying 'I wish I could go back in time and do something a different way' but in terms of death? I don't think theres anything major which I would cry over.

My life is no way perfect but it is pretty good, I worry every day about certain things and always try to better myself but those things would not matter to me if life was no more.
Mon 15/08/05 at 11:15
Regular
"you've got a beard"
Posts: 7,442
i think my only real regret is not knowing myself enough in time.

most people in this thread seem to want kids... i don't.
in april last year, my 3 year relationship fell apart because my patner needed someone who would want them. i never said i DIDN'T want them at all ever, but she was 7 years my senior and so this was more of an issue for her than me. Finding myself forced into considering the momumental undertaking of having kids was not a pleasant time and finally my brain rebelled under the strain of over-thinking every aspect of the rest of my life and i had a bit of a meltdown. So, unable to reach any kind of conclusion, my partner decided she was going to focus on her career... what she DIDN'T tell me was that she still wanted kids and was beavering away behind my back setting herself up with someone who did.

Our relationship ended over the phone in mid april 2004... 2 weeks later, while i was still trying to find a way to fix things (she'd stayed in ouch), this new guy moved in to the flat i helped furnish (oh and how GLAD i was that she'd stayed in touch, cos that was a joy to hear :S ).. in to the place i'd invested my time, money and being into in the belief that this was the start of the rest of my life.

Now i can't even handle the concept of kids, so much pain is attached to the very notion of them, that it's simply not worth it. When i try and think about having them, my mind goes like a tape being chewed by the stereo for a short time then goes blank, so i can't even get near these barriers to work on them. Finding a woman my age who doesn't already have them and doesn't want them is becoming increasingly difficult (read: virtually impossible) so i've pretty much accepted that i can have as much fun as i like, but i'm in for a fundamentally lonely existence.
This is part of why i do what i do (animation)... i can create beings in minutes, give them any kind of life i feel they should have and when they're happy? i can close the program and do something else.

so there ya go kids, not knowing myself in time cost me my entire vision of the future... and THAT is my biggest regret.
Mon 15/08/05 at 11:05
Regular
"Get It?Got It?Good!"
Posts: 3,561
My trouble is, is that i like to get to know someone before i go out with them...but most of the time that puts me in the "friend-zone" which means they see me more as a mate than a boyfriend which gets a bit annoying.
Mon 15/08/05 at 11:01
Regular
"Divine Davine"
Posts: 799
The Wardy wrote:
> gimo80 wrote:
> Meka Dragon wrote:
> I don't think I'd regret things I'd done, but be gutted about the
> things that I've not yet been able to do - seeing my children grow
> up, for instance.
>
> That's really moving. I would love to have kids - my sister is
> having
> one soon, and yeah, that will be an amazing time. Take it to watch a
> football match whilst carrying around with you, take it to the park
> -
> it'll be so amazing. Heh, I know I sound a little over dramatic, but
> that's what I want so much - to have a kid.
>
> I think you are right...in my opinion the meaning if life is to carry
> on. So it is good to want kids etc. I want a kid/kids at some point,
> need the relationship first though lol!

Lol, yeah, it'll be hard to find a girl right for me. But hey, I'm only 16, I'm totally care-free about the whole thing, and I'm using this part of my life as an opportunity to have a good time.

Wardy, I'm sure you'll find a girl - of course I will, everyone loves me :p
Mon 15/08/05 at 10:55
Regular
"Get It?Got It?Good!"
Posts: 3,561
gimo80 wrote:
> Meka Dragon wrote:
> I don't think I'd regret things I'd done, but be gutted about the
> things that I've not yet been able to do - seeing my children grow
> up, for instance.
>
> That's really moving. I would love to have kids - my sister is having
> one soon, and yeah, that will be an amazing time. Take it to watch a
> football match whilst carrying around with you, take it to the park -
> it'll be so amazing. Heh, I know I sound a little over dramatic, but
> that's what I want so much - to have a kid.

I think you are right...in my opinion the meaning if life is to carry on. So it is good to want kids etc. I want a kid/kids at some point, need the relationship first though lol!
Mon 15/08/05 at 10:51
Regular
"Divine Davine"
Posts: 799
Meka Dragon wrote:
> I don't think I'd regret things I'd done, but be gutted about the
> things that I've not yet been able to do - seeing my children grow
> up, for instance.

That's really moving. I would love to have kids - my sister is having one soon, and yeah, that will be an amazing time. Take it to watch a football match whilst carrying around with you, take it to the park - it'll be so amazing. Heh, I know I sound a little over dramatic, but that's what I want so much - to have a kid.
Mon 15/08/05 at 10:50
Regular
"Get It?Got It?Good!"
Posts: 3,561
I dont think many people regret the things they have done, but they would regret the things they didnt do.

For example, a lot of my decisions in life i believe were right...thats why i made them, but other things that i havent done (such as confidence with girls etc.) i would regret because i would be annoyed that i let someone who i loved slip away because i didnt ask them out or tell them.

Like at the moment, i have a best friend who is a girl and i think im in love with her, but i dont know how to deal with it...and after it is all over i think i will be regretting the way i have dealt with it. Maybe i should go and tell her how i feel but then i am worried i will ruin everything :( I suppose i would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all :S

I sometimes think it would be easier to just cross over into the non-existence!
Mon 15/08/05 at 10:48
Regular
"In Soviet Russia..."
Posts: 3,934
I'm at that stage in life where I've got the choice of where to go next. So, it's mainly waiting for my GCSE results.

Hence I haven't got any kids or anything to worry about.

Lucky me... *sigh*
Mon 15/08/05 at 10:45
Regular
"not dead"
Posts: 11,145
I don't think I'd regret things I'd done, but be gutted about the things that I've not yet been able to do - seeing my children grow up, for instance.

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