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I've done everything I wanted to, been everywhere I wanted to, enriched the lives of some, worsened the lives of others (but in a way this enriches the lives of those who would otherwise have had to deal with them) and have no goals left to set myself.
Being non-religious I don't have an irrational fear of death, I just see it as the divide between life and a non-existent state in the same way that my birth was a divide between the same non-existent state and life.
It would be nice to see England win the World Cup in my lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, mainly because I don't believe there is a grand scheme of things.
What fascinates me most is that the spark of life - the entity, the consciousness - that is me, must have come from somewhere. Maybe it is just something produced by lots of synapses firing off in my brain, maybe I'm just an area for all my thoughts to come together to enable them to be projected out, and the brain evolved 'conscious identity' as the easiest way of doing this. Or maybe I'm a spirit, or a soul. Or maybe life is something completely different.
6 billion people on the planet and nobody has figured it out yet, I doubt anyone ever will either, and I doubt death will provide any answers. So until that event, I'm just going to carry on enjoying life (and taking the rough with the smooth, for that is part of life).
Oh god, I'm too late!
Somewhere along, maybe about a year ago, I guess I found acceptance.
I can handle it now, I intend to try to have a good time, experience as much as I can, but when it's over, it's over. That's all it is really. When it's over it's over.
Maybe I'll feel different when I have a family or whatever, but for now I'm free of all those ties, free enough to feel I can go without needing to provide for, or worry about, anyone else in the aftermath.
You make the most of the opportunity, and I'm constantly amazed at the chain of improbabilities that resulted in me being here, but when it's over it's over.
And that's alright.
Whats your girlfriends views on this? have you not freaked her out with all your talk of death?
If all else fails do some rituals involving virgins/babys as i have seen many a film where they give eternal life.
Anyway, in recent weeks my morale has seen a total change around. I use to be a really happy person (I still am, and show that I am) but now I've constantly got death on my mind. And its horrible.
It all started when I was in Cuba for a holiday with my girlfriend, I realised what a nice place I was in and thought about looking at the holiday photos in say 15 years time. It gets me down to know one day I'm going to die, and its confusing, and scary.
It's just so strange how you live your whole life and suddenly it just stops. And I don't believe in life after death etc I just believe you go into a state of nothing, much like before you are born.
I think everyone thinks about this more then once in their life, but why has it hit me so young (I'm 19). What will this be lke when I'm older? Will i accept it or will I be frightened?
Since thinking of this life seems much shorter as I look at it. I hate the way time passes now.
On my holiday it REALLY hit me. I was silent most the time, not myself as I am usually the life and soul. I even cried a few times. Wanted to be sick. And had terrible stomach pains etc. I'd look at everything in a whole new way, the simplest things, and I just couldn't stop myself from doing it. It ruined my holiday. I thought it'll all go when i got back into the swing of my usual life of work etc in England...
Since then it's always been on my mind but has been much better. Today is the day its been the worse since I've got back (few weeks now). I felt I had to lay down, as I was feeling ill etc when thinking about it, I couldn't stop myself. Just so many questions running through your head and no answers. But there isn't an answer and I know that.
Talking to my girlfriend about it makes it so much better, I'm glad I have her there. I know I just have to get on with my life and accept death. Why am I challenging the process of life? It seems so stupid but at the same time I'm not like a moth, I have a large brain to think with, I'm going to use it and challenge things.
And you know what, this so isn't me. I look at myself now through the eyes of when I was 15 and I laugh at myself. I use to be able to joke about death and things, now it would get to me.
I hate the way it is ruining my life and, at times, taking over my thinking. I have to be strong and thats about it.
God, I sound so suicidal! :-D
> Very_Metal wrote:
> i'm impressed with the amount of respect shown in this thread (i
> wasn't really sure whether to write anything or not to start with).
> for a place that seems to thrive on tormenting people, it was a nice
> change.
>
> Me too, when i said about the girl a while back i was expecting
> someone to have a pop
You deserved it. I just couldn't be arsed. Was hoping someone else would.
Shame really.
> Very_Metal wrote:
> i'm impressed with the amount of respect shown in this thread (i
> wasn't really sure whether to write anything or not to start with).
> for a place that seems to thrive on tormenting people, it was a nice
> change.
>
> shut up u homo
I love SR
:*)
However, I dont really think much about dying because I could be mowed down by a bus or blown up by a terrorist any day now. I think i'm more afraid of other people (i.e. family & freinds) dying than myself.
> I don't regret much in my life. I've made some stupid decisions but I
> feel that I've learned from them and if I hadn't felt the
> repercussions of them I could be some screwed up guy now.
> etcetc
Crike.. I agree with everything you wrote in those few paragraphs!
>
> It's all about context I suppose.
a little about the context and a little that it's not in "General chat" ;)
> Very_Metal wrote:
> i'm impressed with the amount of respect shown in this thread (i
> wasn't really sure whether to write anything or not to start with).
> for a place that seems to thrive on tormenting people, it was a nice
> change.
>
> Me too, when i said about the girl a while back i was expecting
> someone to have a pop, but then someone was nice and said "the
> right girl will come along" or something like that and i was
> surprised that it was a nice comment rather than an a-hole comment
> which you see a lot of on these forums!
H'yeah. It's nice when people can have a decent discussion without someone coming in and chanting the usual "do you realise how retarded you are" rubbish.
It's all about context I suppose.