I've done everything I wanted to, been everywhere I wanted to, enriched the lives of some, worsened the lives of others (but in a way this enriches the lives of those who would otherwise have had to deal with them) and have no goals left to set myself.
Being non-religious I don't have an irrational fear of death, I just see it as the divide between life and a non-existent state in the same way that my birth was a divide between the same non-existent state and life.
It would be nice to see England win the World Cup in my lifetime, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, mainly because I don't believe there is a grand scheme of things.
What fascinates me most is that the spark of life - the entity, the consciousness - that is me, must have come from somewhere. Maybe it is just something produced by lots of synapses firing off in my brain, maybe I'm just an area for all my thoughts to come together to enable them to be projected out, and the brain evolved 'conscious identity' as the easiest way of doing this. Or maybe I'm a spirit, or a soul. Or maybe life is something completely different.
6 billion people on the planet and nobody has figured it out yet, I doubt anyone ever will either, and I doubt death will provide any answers. So until that event, I'm just going to carry on enjoying life (and taking the rough with the smooth, for that is part of life).
> You lucky child.
> Both my mum's mum and my dad's dad have died within the last eight
> years. My dad's mum died in the year I was born.
> And I've had numerous pet deaths, we're talking two dogs, a goldfish,
> a budgie and at least 40 chickens.
> Man I hate death.
I've had a hard time in recent years as well. My Gran died in early 2001, followed less than a month later by one of my cats followed by my other cat less than a week after that.
What really got to me was that the second cat wasn't even sick, she just got really depressed when the first one died because she'd known her her whole life. She just seemed to die of sadness. We took her to the vet to see if she was actually ill, she never came back.
We lost another cat to cancer the year after that and another one got hit by a car a few months after that. (We usually buy another one when we lose one by the way, we don't have hundreds of them running around or anything).
That two and a half or so years have actually made me quite bitter. I'm simply not as nice as I used to be.
My family's pretty small though, so there aren't too many people who can die. When I was born, there was just me, my mum, and her parents (who are both still only in their sixties now) and my grandad's mum (who's 93 but still seems to be as fit as a flea). Then there's also my gran's sister and her husband but I barely know her. Then my step-dad came along but his family wa practically all dead, he only has his younger sister.
Both my mum's mum and my dad's dad have died within the last eight years. My dad's mum died in the year I was born.
And I've had numerous pet deaths, we're talking two dogs, a goldfish, a budgie and at least 40 chickens.
Man I hate death.
> now I've constantly got death on my mind. And its horrible.
Just like me, I think about it every day and I hate it. I've done so ever sice I was about 10, and it triggered by the oddest thing: watching Muppet Treasure Island. No joke.
That was the first time I cried about death, and I haven't actually done that for a few years now, but I always have it on my mind.
I think part of the problem is that I've never really experienced death. By that, I mean that nobody in my family has died since I was born. I'm 16 and not one person in my family has died. This may seem fortunate but I actually think that having somebody die in my family would help me to find some sort of acceptance. I know, I'm selfish cold-hearted bas' saying that having somebody in my family die would be good for me but I really do believe it.
Gah, I knew I shouldn't have come into this topic. It's got me thinking again, and I hate thinking about it.
That I hadn't taken a whole lot of you with me.
I haven't actually thought about dying in quite a bit to be honest. For me the cycle of rebirth would still be that way to go, although no previous memories would seem strange and having them stranger still.
I don't want to find myself with a conscience as I lie in a 10ft plot of ground for the rest of eternity, yet I don't want to spend eternity being ... nothing, simply because thinking about where I'd be scares me.
The fear of the unknown displeases me :(
Heh heh heh..