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"SSC27 - Lilith's Lament"

I watch as her children grow as intently as I watch my own. I was the first, she was the impostor But I refused to become so subservient, and for my stand against Him I was banished.

Adam. He thought himself so much better than me, and for this I suffer. My children die for my equality, not a fair trade in any sense. And so I return the compliment. Her daughters spread too far and wide. Look at the damage they’ve done to this earth. They hold Adam’s sons captive with their ways.

But I have brought balance. The modern world is so simple to manipulate. I have turned the minds of Adam’s sons to the perfect form of woman. They are disillusioned by their wives and their partners. Her daughters are distraught by their bodies, their lives taken up with manipulating their fragile husks to fight the force of nature. All the while, the two that would unite fight their battles with their own selves. They prevent their unison to each other through vanity.

My daughters do not worry about such things, for they have a perfect form to all men. They walk the world with the power over men. The sons of Adam eagerly provide them with seed to multiply. One day we will outnumber them and I will have my retribution.

For now, I just watch and take pleasure on the sleeping sons of the first. For I am the other Eve, the first of all women.

Strange one, but still good.

Strangely compelling yet utterly confusing and hard to wrap my head around, seeing I have limited bible knowledge.

Interesting stuff, though it was a bit of a puzzle due to my Biblical ignorance.

Heh, well I thought it was kinda cool. If Paradox's comments were serious then I feel they were rather harsh. It was hardly 'critique,' more of an insult...

I did not know that, about Lilith by the way. Interesting.

Paradox: wrote:
> > An author should try to see through the eyes of others, or they may
> find their material limited...
>
> You did a poor job then. If this was bible_phreaks.org then you'd
> have done an awesome job. But most people here are godless apes.

No, no. I mean that any writer should try different things, rather than just write in one style or genre...

Anyway, I'm not worried about your critique, everyone has their views and they're all valid, it would be boring if everyone thought the same, wouldn't it?

Come to think of it, the title was a bit of a giveaway :S

pb wrote:
> Paradox: wrote:
> Don't be all biblical you loser.
>
> A story shouldn't rely on background reading to make sense.
>
> Ah, but it doesn't. It still works without it. And why do you feel
> threatened by it?

I'm not at all threatened by it, you were threatened by my awesome critiqué and got all defensive.

> An author should try to see through the eyes of others, or they may
> find their material limited...

You did a poor job then. If this was bible_phreaks.org then you'd have done an awesome job. But most people here are godless apes.

Yey, I knew I'd misunderstand it!
But I've never read the apocryphal mumbo-jumbos.

Paradox: wrote:
> Don't be all biblical you loser.
>
> A story shouldn't rely on background reading to make sense.

Ah, but it doesn't. It still works without it. And why do you feel threatened by it?

An author should try to see through the eyes of others, or they may find their material limited...

Don't be all biblical you loser.

A story shouldn't rely on background reading to make sense.