Viewing Thread:
"Couple of jokes I made up"

What do cars and clergymen have in common?

They both get revd. up

What's the gambling capital of the world?

Tibet


Ohohoho

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Slyvester Stallone and Bruce Willis are sitting around not doing much.

All of a sudden, Sly says

"Lets all pretend to be famous composers"

They agree that it's a good idea.

Sly says "I'll be Mozart"

Bruce says "I'll be Handel"

Arnold says "I'll be Bach"

Man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.

Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find, that is a sheep."

Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

Gandhi always walked around with no shoes on so he had really rough feet.
He is also renowned for his hunger strikes that made him very skinny.
He was also a very spiritual man.
But due to his poor diet he had very bad breath.
So what does that make Gandhi?

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!

Yup, pleanty more where they came from. My Dad has gone out to the shed now, so you'll have to wait for some more.

Someones got the 'Big Book of Crap Dad Jokes' out.

English_Bloke wrote:
> Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?
>
> There was a face-off in the corner.


:-| = :-\

How do you stop a dog who's humping your leg?

Whack him off!

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?

There was a face-off in the corner.

Is that a joke or one of your many stories?

Why shouldn't you tell a secret around a clock?

Because time will tell.