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…Hell is that? Oh, that’s what it is. It’s a lump. I’m having a wash, and I’ve found a lump. A lump. A lump, down there!
The first thing that went through my mind was that it can’t be attached. Perhaps it’s a freakishly large micro-bead from my body-wash? Maybe I just haven’t washed this area enough in the past and the dirt has grouped?
Ok, that’s a load of crap. What went through my mind was something along the lines of, “oh my God! Crap! I’m going to die!” and so on.
I went into work because a new guy has started and the boss needed me to train him up. Fat lot of good I was. I couldn’t concentrate in the slightest, not even on simple tasks. I lasted half a day before having a rather hard talk with my boss and being told to go home and go to the doctors because, “you’re no use to me like this”.
I made a last minute appointment, well, by this I was told to come just before close of surgery and wait to see the doctor.
I waited there for a good 45 minutes. Despite arriving before several other people I was the last to go into the office. Those 45 minutes were torture. Not only because of nerves, but also because of having to share the waiting room with this pikey couple who played with their phones the whole time. Nothing grates me as much as the “click-click-click” of mobile phone buttons.
Anyway, I went in and was examined. She then paused for what could have only been a few seconds before telling me her opinion. This however seemed like it was a much longer period of time.
Verdict – she thinks it’s an infection of some special named gland, but I’ve got to keep a really close eye on it.
So it turns out it usually is nothing, but it’s still definitely best to be safe. So lads, check yourself…like you need and excuse anyway, but if your wife/missus/mum asks what you’re doing, just say you’re performing a home medical or something.
Nerve-racking day.
The first thing that went through my mind was that it can’t be attached. Perhaps it’s a freakishly large micro-bead from my body-wash? Maybe I just haven’t washed this area enough in the past and the dirt has grouped?
Ok, that’s a load of crap. What went through my mind was something along the lines of, “oh my God! Crap! I’m going to die!” and so on.
I went into work because a new guy has started and the boss needed me to train him up. Fat lot of good I was. I couldn’t concentrate in the slightest, not even on simple tasks. I lasted half a day before having a rather hard talk with my boss and being told to go home and go to the doctors because, “you’re no use to me like this”.
I made a last minute appointment, well, by this I was told to come just before close of surgery and wait to see the doctor.
I waited there for a good 45 minutes. Despite arriving before several other people I was the last to go into the office. Those 45 minutes were torture. Not only because of nerves, but also because of having to share the waiting room with this pikey couple who played with their phones the whole time. Nothing grates me as much as the “click-click-click” of mobile phone buttons.
Anyway, I went in and was examined. She then paused for what could have only been a few seconds before telling me her opinion. This however seemed like it was a much longer period of time.
Verdict – she thinks it’s an infection of some special named gland, but I’ve got to keep a really close eye on it.
So it turns out it usually is nothing, but it’s still definitely best to be safe. So lads, check yourself…like you need and excuse anyway, but if your wife/missus/mum asks what you’re doing, just say you’re performing a home medical or something.
Nerve-racking day.
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Anyone had a lumbar puncture (or spinal tap)?
Welcome to Ukmenshealthforums.com
SHEEPY wrote:
> Don't be nice to him... he hasn't had to endure the cold gel stuff.
>
> I've said too much
Ah memories, the "gunk", cold, wet and sticky
> Don't be nice to him... he hasn't had to endure the cold gel stuff.
>
> I've said too much
Ah memories, the "gunk", cold, wet and sticky
Don't be nice to him... he hasn't had to endure the cold gel stuff.
I've said too much
I've said too much
No-one made the 'yeah I checked the other day and found 2 massive lumps' joke yet? For shame, people of the forum, for shame.
Ooh, crikey - bit of a panic, eh? Glad you're not dying, though.
I saw the district nurse yesterday who told me off for neglecting my foot - got a bed sore developing on the outside of my right foot ... lovely.
I saw a doctor at Oswestry Orthopaedic Hospital a few years ago who looked a bit like Sandra Bullock but had red hair and absolutely superb breasts - she was checking on my back curvature and shoulders so I spelt a lot of the time lay down with her leaning over me ...
I saw the district nurse yesterday who told me off for neglecting my foot - got a bed sore developing on the outside of my right foot ... lovely.
I saw a doctor at Oswestry Orthopaedic Hospital a few years ago who looked a bit like Sandra Bullock but had red hair and absolutely superb breasts - she was checking on my back curvature and shoulders so I spelt a lot of the time lay down with her leaning over me ...
English_Bloke wrote:
> I wonder if flashers get nervous about exposing themselves at the
> doctors office.
I did. Minus the khaki mackintosh I'm not myself ;-/
> I wonder if flashers get nervous about exposing themselves at the
> doctors office.
I did. Minus the khaki mackintosh I'm not myself ;-/
SHEEPY wrote:
> That was a fun filled time of sheer embarrassment and fear of death.
>
> *cries*
This too.
> That was a fun filled time of sheer embarrassment and fear of death.
>
> *cries*
This too.
I found a lump while I was at the North Pole.
Millions of pounds were lost in order to get me quickly to the nearest medical facility, before I realised I'd gotten some snow caught in my underwear.
Oh how we all laughed afterwards ^_^
Millions of pounds were lost in order to get me quickly to the nearest medical facility, before I realised I'd gotten some snow caught in my underwear.
Oh how we all laughed afterwards ^_^
Join the club.
Found a lump, let the Doc have a fondle. A cist! he says.
But, just to make sure, send you along to the hospital, where you can lie on a bed, with a hot nurse watching, and let some ultrasound peado have a fondle instead. A cist! he says. Great, can I go now?
And that was that.
Found a lump, let the Doc have a fondle. A cist! he says.
But, just to make sure, send you along to the hospital, where you can lie on a bed, with a hot nurse watching, and let some ultrasound peado have a fondle instead. A cist! he says. Great, can I go now?
And that was that.
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