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"What the..."

…Hell is that? Oh, that’s what it is. It’s a lump. I’m having a wash, and I’ve found a lump. A lump. A lump, down there!

The first thing that went through my mind was that it can’t be attached. Perhaps it’s a freakishly large micro-bead from my body-wash? Maybe I just haven’t washed this area enough in the past and the dirt has grouped?

Ok, that’s a load of crap. What went through my mind was something along the lines of, “oh my God! Crap! I’m going to die!” and so on.

I went into work because a new guy has started and the boss needed me to train him up. Fat lot of good I was. I couldn’t concentrate in the slightest, not even on simple tasks. I lasted half a day before having a rather hard talk with my boss and being told to go home and go to the doctors because, “you’re no use to me like this”.

I made a last minute appointment, well, by this I was told to come just before close of surgery and wait to see the doctor.

I waited there for a good 45 minutes. Despite arriving before several other people I was the last to go into the office. Those 45 minutes were torture. Not only because of nerves, but also because of having to share the waiting room with this pikey couple who played with their phones the whole time. Nothing grates me as much as the “click-click-click” of mobile phone buttons.

Anyway, I went in and was examined. She then paused for what could have only been a few seconds before telling me her opinion. This however seemed like it was a much longer period of time.

Verdict – she thinks it’s an infection of some special named gland, but I’ve got to keep a really close eye on it.

So it turns out it usually is nothing, but it’s still definitely best to be safe. So lads, check yourself…like you need and excuse anyway, but if your wife/missus/mum asks what you’re doing, just say you’re performing a home medical or something.

Nerve-racking day.

That's so wrong I don't know where to begin.

Blank wrote:
> Oh, you found a lump down there? It's called a testicle.

You go to that doctor too? :'(

Oh, you found a lump down there? It's called a testicle.

You'll be alright matey. Here's a related joke to cheer you up:

A doctor is the only man who can get a woman to strip and send her husband the bill.

Poor EB, hope that everything is going to be okay :(

'yeah I checked the other day and found 2 massive lumps'
for FFF


Anyway. It probably is just some mini infection. Must've sacred the hell out of you when you found it. There's a history of prostrate supposedly in my family although I have never seen any evidence of it yet.

FinalFantasyFanatic wrote:
> Lawrence wrote:
> It's alright for blokes, they can check themselves. Girls have to go
> to the doctor every once in a while and spread.
>
> I doubt that's ever stopped you trying though, has it?

;o)

Lawrence wrote:
> It's alright for blokes, they can check themselves. Girls have to go
> to the doctor every once in a while and spread.

you're still pretending he's a doctor?

scary stuff though, hope you're ok E_B :-\

Lawrence wrote:
> It's alright for blokes, they can check themselves. Girls have to go
> to the doctor every once in a while and spread.

I doubt that's ever stopped you trying though, has it?

Lawrence wrote:
> *sulks out*
>
> This is only because I have breasts.

Don't complain about them, they'll get you much free stuff.