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"Stalker"

I'm after some advice here I guess. Not quite sure how to deal with a rather bizarre situation.

This guy I know has been really interested in this girl for around 3 years, however during this time she's always been with the same boyfriend (who is a really decent guy etc), however this didn't deter our little persistant-to-stupidity Romeo.

He sits next to her at every chance he gets, stares at her all the time (for example, a bunch of mates went to see a friend's band play last night and he spent the whole night staring at her), he waits hours after school to walk her home, even though he lives miles in the other direction, and he told in confidence to a mutual friend, that he understands her better than her boyfriend of 3-years does, despite never spending any time with her.

I thought this was rather desperate, however after the aforementioned gig last night, a few of us went to a bar - his 'target' and boyfriend here there, he wasn't. She told me the extent of his desperation. He waited SIX HOURS after school for her to finish a drama rehershal to walk her home one time. He also hangs around outside her house looking in her windows and stuff (from the street, not in the garden n stuff) and on the occasions she's left the house to ask him what he's been doing he's said he's been at MY house and was walking back (I live on the same estate as her you see), however he hasn't been at my house since around year 8.

I realise it's probably not my place to get involved and suchlike and it may be harmless obsessive-compulsive behaviour - however the girl is also a good friend of my girlfriend's and I don't much want to see her get murdered and raped by this guy either.

So, what would Jesus do, or what would you do, whichever answer works best?

Thanks.

Ms NY wrote:
> Eee, creepy. You could always threaten him.


:^(

And i thought what i was doing was stalking! My god, this person clearly has no limits.

Sounds like the dude has some serious issues. It didn't seem so bad until I got to the part about him standing outside her house, that's some freaky stuff.

Someone really needs to sit down and talk to him about this. Failing that I don't really know, I wouldn't get the police involved but I'd certainly get in contact with someone who knows about this sort of thing. Maybe talk to his parents?

God knows...

That's funked.

I'd shoot him.

Hopefully a nice chat will get this guy to let up. It would be severely intense for everyone involved if this was so dire that she'd have to consider a mini-hiatus while someone tries psychologically decompressing this guy.

You refer to him as "this Guy you know" and not a friend. So I hope you've told this girl that he has NOT been round to your house; and to repeat the fact that you don't consider him a friend, I'd tell him to back off before you have to back him off.

Get someone whom he respects to talk to him about it. And make sure that person lets him know that it is NEVER gonna happen; that the image he has in his head about this young lady is just that...an image. Not reality.

I know someone who was very similar about a young lady at school. It took a heads-up to his dad from a few of his mates, and a father-son type chat to get his head sorted out (oddly, the lass whom he stalked ended up being very good mates with him a few years later...most odd).

Cycloon wrote:
> Send him to an island for a few weeks and he'll start realising what
> an idiot he's been.

Not if this has been happening for years already. All dangerously obsessive situations stem from small beginings. I don't know what to suggest however...

He's crushed, infatuated. Etc.

Send him to an island for a few weeks and he'll start realising what an idiot he's been.

Find some horrendous munter who quite likes him, then get her to stalk him...

Not saying it would work, but it would be quite amusing to see a stalker being stalked whilst he's stalking.