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"Confession time"

A man enters the confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month."
The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say 3 Hail Mary's."
Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."
This time the priest asks, "Who is Fannie Green?"
"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.
"Very well," says the priest. "Go and say 10 Hail Mary's."
The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when, suddenly a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her, as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasp, as the woman with her legs slightly spread apart. The priest turns to the altar boy and asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"
The altar boy, whose eyes are popping out of his head, replies: "No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes."

Domaye wrote:
> What did the head of tank crew tell his men before they got in their
> tank?
> "get in the tank"
>
> I seem to be the only one that finds that funny :(

That was so disgraceful I actually feel like reporting it.

This is more like it.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

So I could slaughter him and eat him as KFC.

What did the head of tank crew tell his men before they got in their tank?
"get in the tank"

I seem to be the only one that finds that funny :(

Jesus was...

Recently, at a theological meeting in Rome, scholars had a heated debate on the subject of the ethnicity and nationality of jesus. One by one they offered their evidence -

jesus was Mexican -

1. His name was jesus
2. He was bilingual
3. He was always being harassed by the authorities

But then there were equally good arguments that...

jesus was black -

1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel
3. He couldn't get a fair trial

But then there were equally good arguments that...

jesus was jewish -

1. He went into his father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was sure he was god

But then there were equally good arguments that...

jesus was Italian -

1. He talked with his hands
2. He had wine with every meal
3. He used olive oil

But then there were equally good arguments that...

jesus was Californian -

1. He never cut his hair
2. He walked around barefoot
3. He started a new religion

But then there were equally good arguments that...

jesus was Irish -

1. He never got married
2. He was always telling stories
3. He loved green pastures

But perhaps the most compelling evidence...

jesus was a woman -

1. She fed a crowd at a moment's notice
2. Men didn't understand her

Why did the lettuce get banned from the bar?

He was getting fresh.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> Where did Hitler keep his armies?

Up his sleevies!

Old one:

What's the difference between Aerton Senor (sp?) and Michael Owen?

Michael Owen can take corners.

Where did Hitler keep his armies?

The brunt of his forces were applied to the Eastern front, but throughout different periods of the war, a sizable chunk were used to protect the Atlantic Wall and a handful of divisions were used in Africa, to secure shipping routes.

...

But that just was one.

No comment.