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It's quite funny really. How something as stupid as a length of copper can leave you in such a deadly position, I thought as I stared up at the wires above my head. The crackles of electricity brought incredible fear into my heart and I couldn't stop thinking about how I spent my life.
Ever since I was a toddler I was always causing trouble but not the regular, Oh God I was something special. I had a thing with wires. I loved strangling toys and creating booby traps for unsuspecting passers-by.
As I grew older I begun to work on bigger projects, small bombs and trip-wires. The other kids used to laugh at me and call me a nerd and other hurtful names. But the more I hated them the more my passion grew for wires. Until they occupied my every thought, dream and waking moment.
By the time I was thirteen I was isolated from the other students and my parents still didn't care much about me. The other kids gave me a nick-name and I suppose it was'nt that bad really. Stat. Short for Static it was used so frequently even my parents call me that. I can't even remember my real name. Though I know my surname is Morgan.
At the age of fourteen I had stopped caring about my school work and my mind was a matrix of copper. My complexion had become pasty and my ginger was dull and lifeless. I knew I had a calling in life. I started building a bomb so complex I wasn't sure it was real. But I knew what I was doing.
By fifteen it was finished a creation the likes of man had never seen before hidden away in my garden shed. I pressed a button on the side of its door to open it, then stepped inside. Everything was ready and I waited for a thunderstorm and the final imput. Lightning.
So there I was Snakes of death hanging from the ceiling grinning at me and humming an electrical theme-song. Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck the machine and I had energy flowing through me like water through a drainpipe. I could feel my heart beating at an incredible rate and I find it difficult to explain, it was as though I was connected with every electrical impulse in the entire galaxy and as I crumpled to the ground dying I knew my destiny had been fulfilled.
Ever since I was a toddler I was always causing trouble but not the regular, Oh God I was something special. I had a thing with wires. I loved strangling toys and creating booby traps for unsuspecting passers-by.
As I grew older I begun to work on bigger projects, small bombs and trip-wires. The other kids used to laugh at me and call me a nerd and other hurtful names. But the more I hated them the more my passion grew for wires. Until they occupied my every thought, dream and waking moment.
By the time I was thirteen I was isolated from the other students and my parents still didn't care much about me. The other kids gave me a nick-name and I suppose it was'nt that bad really. Stat. Short for Static it was used so frequently even my parents call me that. I can't even remember my real name. Though I know my surname is Morgan.
At the age of fourteen I had stopped caring about my school work and my mind was a matrix of copper. My complexion had become pasty and my ginger was dull and lifeless. I knew I had a calling in life. I started building a bomb so complex I wasn't sure it was real. But I knew what I was doing.
By fifteen it was finished a creation the likes of man had never seen before hidden away in my garden shed. I pressed a button on the side of its door to open it, then stepped inside. Everything was ready and I waited for a thunderstorm and the final imput. Lightning.
So there I was Snakes of death hanging from the ceiling grinning at me and humming an electrical theme-song. Suddenly a bolt of lightning struck the machine and I had energy flowing through me like water through a drainpipe. I could feel my heart beating at an incredible rate and I find it difficult to explain, it was as though I was connected with every electrical impulse in the entire galaxy and as I crumpled to the ground dying I knew my destiny had been fulfilled.
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Hedfix wrote:
> Who's talking about Hoju's story here?
>
> I'm talking about getting poor feedback from the snorting pre-GCSE
> teens who haven't read a book that they weren't made to read. :P
>
> That REALLY makes be want to contribute to the forum.
So you're saying that pre-GCSE posters cannot leave constructive feed-back?
I'm in year 10, which is pre-GCSE exams and my feedback is, in this thread far superior to yours. I'm assuming you've done your GCSE's, therefore your whole arguement breaks down.
> Who's talking about Hoju's story here?
>
> I'm talking about getting poor feedback from the snorting pre-GCSE
> teens who haven't read a book that they weren't made to read. :P
>
> That REALLY makes be want to contribute to the forum.
So you're saying that pre-GCSE posters cannot leave constructive feed-back?
I'm in year 10, which is pre-GCSE exams and my feedback is, in this thread far superior to yours. I'm assuming you've done your GCSE's, therefore your whole arguement breaks down.
Who's talking about Hoju's story here?
I'm talking about getting poor feedback from the snorting pre-GCSE teens who haven't read a book that they weren't made to read. :P
That REALLY makes be want to contribute to the forum.
I'm talking about getting poor feedback from the snorting pre-GCSE teens who haven't read a book that they weren't made to read. :P
That REALLY makes be want to contribute to the forum.
Oriental Rib wrote:
> Hedfix wrote:
> If people actually bothered to give decent feedback then you might
> see more people actually use this forum.
>
> Hedfix also wrote :
> >This is good
>
> This isn't decent feedback at all.
I know. I might get around to doing some serious feedback but at the time of writing that I had little incentive to bother since nobody else does.
> Hedfix wrote:
> If people actually bothered to give decent feedback then you might
> see more people actually use this forum.
>
> Hedfix also wrote :
> >This is good
>
> This isn't decent feedback at all.
I know. I might get around to doing some serious feedback but at the time of writing that I had little incentive to bother since nobody else does.
What hte hell does pre-GCSE have to do with anything? Hoju's story would of been absolutely cracking (and it's still good, just feels a little unpolished) if he extended it a bit a cleared his grammer errors in word and I don't think he's even on SATs.
Hedfix wrote:
> If people actually bothered to give decent feedback then you might
> see more people actually use this forum.
Hedfix also wrote :
>This is good
This isn't decent feedback at all.
> If people actually bothered to give decent feedback then you might
> see more people actually use this forum.
Hedfix also wrote :
>This is good
This isn't decent feedback at all.
Stryke wrote:
> Just leave him be, Ash. All he's looking for is an argument.
Nope.
This forum's awful compared to when things were posted in Life...
The feedback's awful but like I said people shouldn't expect much from a forum filled with mainly pre-GCSE writers.
Think I'll post my next thing in Life... it's where the best minds hang out.
> Just leave him be, Ash. All he's looking for is an argument.
Nope.
This forum's awful compared to when things were posted in Life...
The feedback's awful but like I said people shouldn't expect much from a forum filled with mainly pre-GCSE writers.
Think I'll post my next thing in Life... it's where the best minds hang out.
Yeah, if the storys that bad with that many grammar mistakes I'll change it free of charge.
Just leave him be, Ash. All he's looking for is an argument.
Hedfix wrote:
> It was a genuine comment.
>
> Ashman has a problem.
>
> He's an idiot.
It seemed a sarcastic comment (especially considering your ongoing arguements with Hoju) to me. Sorry for mis-interpretating.
> Apparently humour has no part in the creative writing forum so my
> future contributions should be deadly serious upon pain of death or
> perhaps you need to remove the stick from your ass and work on your
> constructive criticism instead of being a mong with an inflated ego
> because he won an internet writing competition.
If you call any of your contributions to CW humourus I'm seriously worried. And me working on my constructive criticism? I'd say I'm pretty damn good at giving people feedback on their storys. Does anyone, other than Hedfix, disagree?
And I don't think you should be giving me advice about my "inflated ego", I'm afraid.
> If people actually bothered to give decent feedback then you might
> see more people actually use this forum. As it is things were better
> off when they were posted in the Life.. forum and the constructive
> criticism was a lot better in there.
I think it gets a fair amount of useage, considering stories obviously take much more time and effort to write than posts in other forums. I've noticed no change in how many people contribute (if anything its brought more newcomers - Fozz, SurrealGuy, Crumble, Hoju, witch-king just to name a few) but one thing you can't argue is that its much easier. I think if you ask regular LIFE posters they will prefer it the way it is now. As for constructive criticism, I've noticed little change.
I don't see you giving "decent" constructive criticism to anyone.
> It was a genuine comment.
>
> Ashman has a problem.
>
> He's an idiot.
It seemed a sarcastic comment (especially considering your ongoing arguements with Hoju) to me. Sorry for mis-interpretating.
> Apparently humour has no part in the creative writing forum so my
> future contributions should be deadly serious upon pain of death or
> perhaps you need to remove the stick from your ass and work on your
> constructive criticism instead of being a mong with an inflated ego
> because he won an internet writing competition.
If you call any of your contributions to CW humourus I'm seriously worried. And me working on my constructive criticism? I'd say I'm pretty damn good at giving people feedback on their storys. Does anyone, other than Hedfix, disagree?
And I don't think you should be giving me advice about my "inflated ego", I'm afraid.
> If people actually bothered to give decent feedback then you might
> see more people actually use this forum. As it is things were better
> off when they were posted in the Life.. forum and the constructive
> criticism was a lot better in there.
I think it gets a fair amount of useage, considering stories obviously take much more time and effort to write than posts in other forums. I've noticed no change in how many people contribute (if anything its brought more newcomers - Fozz, SurrealGuy, Crumble, Hoju, witch-king just to name a few) but one thing you can't argue is that its much easier. I think if you ask regular LIFE posters they will prefer it the way it is now. As for constructive criticism, I've noticed little change.
I don't see you giving "decent" constructive criticism to anyone.
Oriental Rib wrote:
> I liked it, though it was rushed. An edit in which you add this
> quality by say 3 paragragh's that's actually relelvant to the story
> and it'll be great. Well done.
This is basically what I was saying but I couldn't be bothered to elaborate.
Fecking idiots jumped to conclusions anyway though which just goes to illustrate why I don't bother posting anything of great consequence in here to be sniffed over in a forum where most of the writers have yet to pass their GCSE English.
> I liked it, though it was rushed. An edit in which you add this
> quality by say 3 paragragh's that's actually relelvant to the story
> and it'll be great. Well done.
This is basically what I was saying but I couldn't be bothered to elaborate.
Fecking idiots jumped to conclusions anyway though which just goes to illustrate why I don't bother posting anything of great consequence in here to be sniffed over in a forum where most of the writers have yet to pass their GCSE English.
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