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"OW OW OW OW"

My chair is a crap chair.

The seat bit is loose from the frame.

Meaning everytime I sit on it, I have to move it so it's not sliding all over the place.

Except, this time, I managed to sit on my hand.

So it was crushed by my mass AND a great slab o wood.

OW OW OW OW OW OW

Hmmm, I think we have our work cut out here......

You wouldn't mind if we had a look.....?

It goes up and down and it has a horn.

*explodes*

I bet it's motorised too.

Hmm, mix that with the allegory and you have a fun idea......

FFF, to the lab!

My chair gets used all the time - I'm using it right now.

*uses*

See?

Truth. Unless you're following FFFs 'penis' allegory, in which case, no, my chair's FAR better than your chair.

Hmmm.

But yours is all soft and leathery.

My chair > your chair.

What music?

I'm guessing 'chair' is a euphemism for 'penis'

Well, let's face it, what isn't?

Aha. Who's just sent you music from one of the most godly bands ever?

And the most godly band ever, even though you suck and complained about it?