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Her large greeny-grey eyes encapsulated my very soul and send shockwaves down my spine, making me tingle with pleasured agony. Neatly groomed auburn hair parted to the side, held delicately in place with a decorative sunflower. A kiss of crimson across her heart shaped mouth made her my Mona Lisa.
I glanced up at her angelic face then back down at my feet. I dug my hands deep into my pockets, angrily stalling for time. I didn’t know how to tell her, I couldn’t see my angel broken on the rocks before me by my own emotional treason.
I hunched my figure forward and fixed my eyes on my shoes, unable to look her in the eyes.
“Just tell me… please.” She echoed
I glanced up to see her eager eyes delving deep into my soul. Grooming me for answers.
“There was one…” I trailed off.
“Who was she?”
“She meant nothing..” I began, but I was cut short by another “Who was she?”
Her voice began to crack and her lower lip trembled.
“She was called Sarah, but, look I was drunk”
Mascara trails raced down her soft cheeks. “Don’t you care about me?”
“I love you”
“Then why?”
“I-I don’t know, it meant nothing.”
“How can I believe that?” she snivelled
“Take me back?” I not so much suggested as pleaded.
I tilted my neck down to gaze once again at my feet. Waiting for the verdict. For the executioner to deliver her final verdict. A silence of a second hung in the air for a forever.
“I don’t think I can…” she spluttered. Hiding her tear-stained cheeks with her hands.
My world stopped turning and my Hollywood ending was cut short. I died standing on my feet, resent clogged my arteries and my heart stopped pumping.
“I love you Dawn” I choked through muffled tears. “I love you”.
Now it was her turn to look down at her feet and think of words to nurse a broken heart.
“I’m sorry” she coldly muttered.
I fell to my hands and knees, shuddering pathetically. “I don’t want to lose you” I begged.
My heart in my mouth and my soul in pieces I was torn apart by the solemn ear-splitting wrath of “I think we should just be friends.”
The hot burn of sick at the back of my throat, peering up with puppy-dog eyes at my lost angel my hope was vanquished, pathetically crouching on hands-and-knees, just before Dawn.
I glanced up at her angelic face then back down at my feet. I dug my hands deep into my pockets, angrily stalling for time. I didn’t know how to tell her, I couldn’t see my angel broken on the rocks before me by my own emotional treason.
I hunched my figure forward and fixed my eyes on my shoes, unable to look her in the eyes.
“Just tell me… please.” She echoed
I glanced up to see her eager eyes delving deep into my soul. Grooming me for answers.
“There was one…” I trailed off.
“Who was she?”
“She meant nothing..” I began, but I was cut short by another “Who was she?”
Her voice began to crack and her lower lip trembled.
“She was called Sarah, but, look I was drunk”
Mascara trails raced down her soft cheeks. “Don’t you care about me?”
“I love you”
“Then why?”
“I-I don’t know, it meant nothing.”
“How can I believe that?” she snivelled
“Take me back?” I not so much suggested as pleaded.
I tilted my neck down to gaze once again at my feet. Waiting for the verdict. For the executioner to deliver her final verdict. A silence of a second hung in the air for a forever.
“I don’t think I can…” she spluttered. Hiding her tear-stained cheeks with her hands.
My world stopped turning and my Hollywood ending was cut short. I died standing on my feet, resent clogged my arteries and my heart stopped pumping.
“I love you Dawn” I choked through muffled tears. “I love you”.
Now it was her turn to look down at her feet and think of words to nurse a broken heart.
“I’m sorry” she coldly muttered.
I fell to my hands and knees, shuddering pathetically. “I don’t want to lose you” I begged.
My heart in my mouth and my soul in pieces I was torn apart by the solemn ear-splitting wrath of “I think we should just be friends.”
The hot burn of sick at the back of my throat, peering up with puppy-dog eyes at my lost angel my hope was vanquished, pathetically crouching on hands-and-knees, just before Dawn.
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and by the way, I used Dawn as a name in my story. Theif. :x
English_Bloke wrote:
> I was gonna do a "waking up at the crack of Dawn" joke in my
> first idea, but I decided against it.
I've been thinking of a way to use that joke for months, unfortunately I know nobody called Dawn. :(
As for the story, a little expected really. The desciptions were good, but I could have read it anywhere before, and failed to really grab me at all. Sorry. :(
> I was gonna do a "waking up at the crack of Dawn" joke in my
> first idea, but I decided against it.
I've been thinking of a way to use that joke for months, unfortunately I know nobody called Dawn. :(
As for the story, a little expected really. The desciptions were good, but I could have read it anywhere before, and failed to really grab me at all. Sorry. :(
Black Glove wrote:
> I was waiting for someone to use "Dawn" as a name. Hmm, I
> thought that was melodramatic.
That was absolutely the intention.
Really wasn't very good story-wise I dont think.
Just wanted to use Dawn differently.
> I was waiting for someone to use "Dawn" as a name. Hmm, I
> thought that was melodramatic.
That was absolutely the intention.
Really wasn't very good story-wise I dont think.
Just wanted to use Dawn differently.
I was gonna do a "waking up at the crack of Dawn" joke in my first idea, but I decided against it.
I was waiting for someone to use "Dawn" as a name. Hmm, I thought that was melodramatic.
I liked the use of the phrase muchly.
Been copying my stories matey.
Was good, short, but good.
Was good, short, but good.
Her large greeny-grey eyes encapsulated my very soul and send shockwaves down my spine, making me tingle with pleasured agony. Neatly groomed auburn hair parted to the side, held delicately in place with a decorative sunflower. A kiss of crimson across her heart shaped mouth made her my Mona Lisa.
I glanced up at her angelic face then back down at my feet. I dug my hands deep into my pockets, angrily stalling for time. I didn’t know how to tell her, I couldn’t see my angel broken on the rocks before me by my own emotional treason.
I hunched my figure forward and fixed my eyes on my shoes, unable to look her in the eyes.
“Just tell me… please.” She echoed
I glanced up to see her eager eyes delving deep into my soul. Grooming me for answers.
“There was one…” I trailed off.
“Who was she?”
“She meant nothing..” I began, but I was cut short by another “Who was she?”
Her voice began to crack and her lower lip trembled.
“She was called Sarah, but, look I was drunk”
Mascara trails raced down her soft cheeks. “Don’t you care about me?”
“I love you”
“Then why?”
“I-I don’t know, it meant nothing.”
“How can I believe that?” she snivelled
“Take me back?” I not so much suggested as pleaded.
I tilted my neck down to gaze once again at my feet. Waiting for the verdict. For the executioner to deliver her final verdict. A silence of a second hung in the air for a forever.
“I don’t think I can…” she spluttered. Hiding her tear-stained cheeks with her hands.
My world stopped turning and my Hollywood ending was cut short. I died standing on my feet, resent clogged my arteries and my heart stopped pumping.
“I love you Dawn” I choked through muffled tears. “I love you”.
Now it was her turn to look down at her feet and think of words to nurse a broken heart.
“I’m sorry” she coldly muttered.
I fell to my hands and knees, shuddering pathetically. “I don’t want to lose you” I begged.
My heart in my mouth and my soul in pieces I was torn apart by the solemn ear-splitting wrath of “I think we should just be friends.”
The hot burn of sick at the back of my throat, peering up with puppy-dog eyes at my lost angel my hope was vanquished, pathetically crouching on hands-and-knees, just before Dawn.
I glanced up at her angelic face then back down at my feet. I dug my hands deep into my pockets, angrily stalling for time. I didn’t know how to tell her, I couldn’t see my angel broken on the rocks before me by my own emotional treason.
I hunched my figure forward and fixed my eyes on my shoes, unable to look her in the eyes.
“Just tell me… please.” She echoed
I glanced up to see her eager eyes delving deep into my soul. Grooming me for answers.
“There was one…” I trailed off.
“Who was she?”
“She meant nothing..” I began, but I was cut short by another “Who was she?”
Her voice began to crack and her lower lip trembled.
“She was called Sarah, but, look I was drunk”
Mascara trails raced down her soft cheeks. “Don’t you care about me?”
“I love you”
“Then why?”
“I-I don’t know, it meant nothing.”
“How can I believe that?” she snivelled
“Take me back?” I not so much suggested as pleaded.
I tilted my neck down to gaze once again at my feet. Waiting for the verdict. For the executioner to deliver her final verdict. A silence of a second hung in the air for a forever.
“I don’t think I can…” she spluttered. Hiding her tear-stained cheeks with her hands.
My world stopped turning and my Hollywood ending was cut short. I died standing on my feet, resent clogged my arteries and my heart stopped pumping.
“I love you Dawn” I choked through muffled tears. “I love you”.
Now it was her turn to look down at her feet and think of words to nurse a broken heart.
“I’m sorry” she coldly muttered.
I fell to my hands and knees, shuddering pathetically. “I don’t want to lose you” I begged.
My heart in my mouth and my soul in pieces I was torn apart by the solemn ear-splitting wrath of “I think we should just be friends.”
The hot burn of sick at the back of my throat, peering up with puppy-dog eyes at my lost angel my hope was vanquished, pathetically crouching on hands-and-knees, just before Dawn.
Page: