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Woman comes out of her house yesterday and calls to me, I'm about 12 doors down by then.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
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> Still, she's old and will die soon.
Don't count on it; I've been most disappointed at the lack of a Granny-screwing, hypothermia inducing cold snap this winter. Although seeing Carlisle get flooded did sort of make up for it.
Don't count on it; I've been most disappointed at the lack of a Granny-screwing, hypothermia inducing cold snap this winter. Although seeing Carlisle get flooded did sort of make up for it.
Same thing happened to me Cyclone
" That's two for 75p "
" Yes "
I scan all his items...
" You scanned them twice "
" Yes "
" but it's two for 75P "
" I need to scan them twice, the till decucts the offer "
" but you scanned it twice "
" And? "
" It's two for 75p "
" They are 60p each so I can't just scan one "
" What? "
" I need to scan both for the offer to work "
" IT IS TWO FOR 75P "
" Look, do you want me to count out the cost of each item? "
" The total is wrong "
" No it isn't "
I then go a bit mental
" Can I have the receipt? " Before yanking it off the till, breaking the holder.
" That's two for 75p "
" Yes "
I scan all his items...
" You scanned them twice "
" Yes "
" but it's two for 75P "
" I need to scan them twice, the till decucts the offer "
" but you scanned it twice "
" And? "
" It's two for 75p "
" They are 60p each so I can't just scan one "
" What? "
" I need to scan both for the offer to work "
" IT IS TWO FOR 75P "
" Look, do you want me to count out the cost of each item? "
" The total is wrong "
" No it isn't "
I then go a bit mental
" Can I have the receipt? " Before yanking it off the till, breaking the holder.
Ah, tales of customer/people idiocy live with us forever.
3:55pm on a Sunday, I send out the "5 minutes till closing, please come to the tills" call and people just carry on dawdling around oblivious to the last three announcements that have been made.
4:25pm, There is still one woman and her offspring dancing around the shop looking for some obscure colour of paint, I beckon her to leave the store as the tills need cashing up and she is wasting our time.
"I'm looking for paint"
- "The store is closed, it's actually illegal for us to trade now"
"The store is closed?"
- "Yep, we sent out 4 announcements before 4pm"
"I'm looking for paint"
- "*@#\|=-£%"£$^$&"
3:55pm on a Sunday, I send out the "5 minutes till closing, please come to the tills" call and people just carry on dawdling around oblivious to the last three announcements that have been made.
4:25pm, There is still one woman and her offspring dancing around the shop looking for some obscure colour of paint, I beckon her to leave the store as the tills need cashing up and she is wasting our time.
"I'm looking for paint"
- "The store is closed, it's actually illegal for us to trade now"
"The store is closed?"
- "Yep, we sent out 4 announcements before 4pm"
"I'm looking for paint"
- "*@#\|=-£%"£$^$&"
Let her.
I told the manager when I went back and he laughed, apparently she complains at least once a week.
The last complaint was because her free lightbulb she ordered took 3 days to arrive.
Still, she's old and will die soon.
I told the manager when I went back and he laughed, apparently she complains at least once a week.
The last complaint was because her free lightbulb she ordered took 3 days to arrive.
Still, she's old and will die soon.
Of course, she'll be writing a stiffly worded letter to the Daily Mail even now...
Average customer;
'I'll have three bottles of this Zinfandel'
'Okay'
'Did that go through as 3 for £12?'
'Nope - I'll fix it'
'Okay'
*I go and look at the wines and the offers*
'Erm, it's not actually for this wine, it's for the Colombard next to it'
'But the label's right underneath it!'
'No the label says 'Colombard Chardonnay, 3 for £12', and it's under that wine - NOT the Zinfandel'
'What?!'
(To another customer) 'Bloody labels, if they printed them right'
'Well, if you read them for once...'
Every day. Even better was a whiskey one - the label quite clearly said 70cl of Teachers at a certain price, RIGHT UNDERNEATH the 70cl, and he was 'but it's under the 1 litre, that's false advertising!!11'
Shut up.
'I'll have three bottles of this Zinfandel'
'Okay'
'Did that go through as 3 for £12?'
'Nope - I'll fix it'
'Okay'
*I go and look at the wines and the offers*
'Erm, it's not actually for this wine, it's for the Colombard next to it'
'But the label's right underneath it!'
'No the label says 'Colombard Chardonnay, 3 for £12', and it's under that wine - NOT the Zinfandel'
'What?!'
(To another customer) 'Bloody labels, if they printed them right'
'Well, if you read them for once...'
Every day. Even better was a whiskey one - the label quite clearly said 70cl of Teachers at a certain price, RIGHT UNDERNEATH the 70cl, and he was 'but it's under the 1 litre, that's false advertising!!11'
Shut up.
Woman comes out of her house yesterday and calls to me, I'm about 12 doors down by then.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
I stop and turn round, she beckons with her index finger. I stand still, I'm not a schoolboy and she's not a headmistress.
She waits, still beckoning with her finger. I turn around and continue with my walk, she's lucky that I'm not allowed to tell her what to do with that finger.
So as I head back down the street on the other side, she comes out again when I draw level opposite.
"Postman"
"Yes?"
"My letters are soaking wet"
"...that's because it's raining"
"But they're wet"
"Yes. Water is falling from the sky"
"I'm going to complain"
"Fair enough, you'll need to phone God & ask him to not throw water at me from the sky then"
She goes inside and peers out through her curtains, I give a cheery wave and carry on.
Assfaced old crone.
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